Esme! Long time no see!
An old Italian man goes to the doctor for a check-up. The doctor is amazed at what good shape the guy is in and asks, "How do you stay in such great physical condition?"
Because I'm Italian and I am a golfer," says the old guy, "and that's why I'm in such good shape. I am up well before daylight and out golfing up and down the fairways. Have a glass of wine, and all is well."
"Well," says the doctor, "I'm sure that helps, but there's got to be more to it. How old was your Dad when he died?"
"Who said my Dad's dead?"
The doctor is amazed. "You mean you're 80 years old and your Dad's still alive. How old is he?"
"He's 100 years old," says the old Italian golfer. "In fact he golfed with me this morning, and then we went to the topless beach for a walk, that's why he's still alive ... he's Italian and he's a golfer too."
Well," the doctor says, "that's great, but I'm sure there's more to it than that. How about your Dad's Dad? How old was he when he died?"
"Who said my grandpa's dead? He's still akick'n."
Stunned, the doctor asks, "You mean you're 80 years old and your grandfather is still living? Incredible, how old is he?"
"He's 118 years old," says the old Italian golfer. The doctor is getting frustrated at this point,
"So, I guess he went golfing with you this morning too?"
"No. Grandpa couldn't go this morning because he's getting married today."
At this point the doctor is close to losing it. "Getting married? Why would a 118 year-old guy want to get married?"
"Who said he wanted to?"