Well maybe I’ve been here too long too, if it’s wicked and hurtful for a man to say a family is in our thoughts and prayers with a hope that they will heal.
Maybe we should just tell them the rest of their life will be emptiness and heartbreak. That’d be better.
The comment was to Opus, not you. I lost a child once; I know this territory -- Opus is right in that it is probably (depending upon their faith) too soon for the family to set their lifelong direction. I have seen people/families go in both directions, sinking into bitterness and revenge or working towards healing.
At this early stage the official's comment is fatuous, ignorant, empty and presumptuous (though I'd like to think "hopeful"). The family isn't anywhere near "healing," they're just beginning to grasp the enormity of what has happened. It is going to take time, and a lot of it.
HOTD (and Opus), keep this family in your prayers. They've got some really hard times ahead.
Only agreed with previous poster that the police comments, made in an official capacity, were extremely insensitive because they are extremely hurtful regardless of his intentions. And made in public to boot.
He was essentially saying that now that their daughter’s body was discovered, they could start to “move on” (another euphemism “helpful” people advise grieving people to do, thereby inflicting another wound on a broken heart)
Most of us when we lose a loved one, only endure stupid hurtful comments from well-meaning people, in private.
That police chief and probably the rest of his department needs better training in how to publicly address families in mourning. That’s my reaction to how the police publicly addressed this tragedy and I’m sticking to it!
I hope they are better trained on investigation and arrest. When the chief says something SO stupid, though, I’ve got to wonder.
BTW- the ONLY appropriate thing to say unless you’ve been in those shoes- “I AM SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS”. Then shut up and let the family do the talking about their child, if they want to.