[Attention Surplus Disorder]

How many Jewish mothers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

“Never mind, I’ll just sit here in the dark”.

What’s got four legs and chases cats? (sic)

“Mrs. Katz and her lawyer.”

[Calvin Locke]

A Jewish father goes to his rabbi, and says "Rabbi, I don't know what to do. My son wants to marry a shiksa."

The rabbi tells the father he must go into temple to pray.

The father does so and speaks to God about his problems, finishing up with "...and my biggest problem is my son. My son wants to marry a shiksa..." and immediately, a voice booms out of nowhere: "Problem? You call that a problem? I got problems! Look at my Son!"

[Lonesome in Massachussets]

Wots the difference between a Jewish mother and a terrorist?

Occasionally, you can reason with a terrorist.