Murphy O’Toole pulled up to his favorite pub, but couldn’t find a parking space.
“Lord,” he cried aloud, “If’n you’d see fit to find me a place ta park, I swear ta go right, attend church every Sunday, and love me fellow man!”
All of a sudden, a shaft of glorious light accompanied by the singing of angels pierces down from the clouds and seperates the ocean of vehicles, leaving a large, open space.
“Nevermind, Lord, I found me one!”
Murphy’s lesser known laws
- Light travels faster than sound. This is why some
people appear bright until you hear them speak.
- He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
- Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
- The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance
of getting something right, there’s a 90% probability
you’ll get it wrong.
- If you lined up all the cars in the world end to end,
someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them,
five or six at a time, on a hill, in the fog.
- Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day.
Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day
drinking beer.
- The shin bone is a device for finding
furniture in a dark room.
- When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the
hands of 12 people who weren’t smart enough to get out
of jury duty.
Two elderly ladies were driving along. Both were so short they could barely see over the dashboard.
As they were cruising along they came to an intersection. The light was red but they cruised on through.
The lady in the passenger seat thought to herself, I must be losing it, I could have sworn we went thru a red light.
They came to another light, again it was red and they went right on thru.
This time the passenger was almost sure that the light had been red. She decided to pay close attention at the next intersection.
At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was red and they just blew right on thru.
She turned to the other woman and said, “Mildred, Did you know we just ran thru three red lights in a row! You could have killed us!”
“Oh, am I driving?”
Patrick Fitzmichael and Michael Fitzpatrick