Skip to comments.Must-see Mythology-ish Movies
Posted on 08/01/2007 7:38:44 AM PDT by qam1
In honour of the release of "300" on DVD, we take a look back our favourite "oh-so-bad," from-the-'80s mythology-ish movies that we hate to love.
Long before Peter Jackson and his "Lord of the Rings" trilogy legitimized the genre, these movies dwelt somewhere between the A minus and B-movie grades and have since earned themselves cult status among a certain Gen-X cohort.
Let's be clear, we're not talking the overwrought sword and sandal variety such as "Gladiator" or "Troy," or those with long talkative sequences and fits and spurts of action, but those of the only decade in history in which they could have been produced - the over-the-top excessive 1980s.
While they do contain moments of mild winking-at-the audience-humour, generally the creators (big names like Wolfgang Peterson, Ron Howard and Terry Gilliam) of these movies took themselves so seriously, the results were a misplaced earnestness that we just can't help but laugh at. And, needless to say, time has not served them well.
Nestled in the years between the "Star Wars" effects advancements and the landmark Jurassic Park CGI achievements, their hokey heroes were surrounded by a medley of stop-motion animation, Henson-style puppetry and awkward costuming.
What follows is the best of the worst, those that made no attempt at tongue in cheek, or irony - just plain old fantasy flicks that were all filmic faux pas to the very last frame. Semi-mythological, semi-serious, fully pulped.......
Clash of the Titans (1981)
Time Bandits (1981)
Conan the Barbarian (1982)
Sword and the Sorcerer (1982)
The Neverending Story (1984)
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What...no “Conan the Destroyer,” or “Red Sonja?”
I remember Willow - my then-girlfriend had to keep nudging me to keep me from snoring too loudly.
I don't think I'll ever be able to see Neverending Story at this point -- I don't think it could live up to the Family Guy gag, with Peter flying on the dragon. Once you've seen that, how could you ever watch the original film with a straight(ish) face?
Would Labyrinth fit in there???
Or The Princess Bride?
Time Bandits was a brilliant film (and I admit to sorta liking Legend because of Ridley Scott.)
You should definitely see Beastmaster, it’s so horrible it’s entertaining. I never saw Sword and Sorcerer. Saw Neverending Story and it’s horrid, certainly lives up to it’s title as it just goes on and on and on, it’s probably better with the Family Guy gag in mind. Willow was lame too. Actually most of the movies on the list are terrible, the real question is are they bad in an entertaining way.
The Neverending Story lived up to it’s name in that it never seemed to end and you couldn’t figure out what was going on
But how did you miss Beastmaster? Up to a few years ago, it was always on some channel somewhere. TBS in particular, it seemed the only thing on that channel would be a Braves Game, Wrestling or Beastmaster.
I did, however, have a brush with Beastmaster about 4 years ago. Several of my friends are hipster comic geeks, and once dragged me and my husband along to a comic convention. Marc Singer was one of the celebrity guests, and he all but fell in love with my then six month old daughter. He and my husband discussed vaccinations, autism and various other parent related things. He was still really creepy.
Yeah, most of the films on this list are terrible, with the exception of Time Bandits.
I can see how stone age cloths and 80s haircuts might scare a person. But it really is a fun retarded movie, skip the sequels though, they’re just retarded without being fun.
My first thought also was that Labrynth belongs on that list.
Dark Crystal perhaps?
Okay, I’m trusting you, here. I’ll check the film out (actually, I think my hubby might already have a copy.) Is it as good as the Australian tv show that came out a few years back?
I never actually saw the TV series, I kind of skipped that whole bad fantasy on TV movement (saw very little Xena, almost no Hercules and no Beastmaster), I was getting burned out on genre when it started and by the time I came back it was over. So I can’t compare it, but the movie is fun in a pleasant stupid way, just make sure you turn off your higher brain functions first.
For some reason, before I knew their names I could have swore Marc Singer, MacGyver and Kevin Bacon were all the same guy. So just think of Marc Singer as MacGyver with Kevin Bacon’s voice.
The creepiest custom in Beastmaster is worn by the father from Good Times who wears a G-String throughout the movie
Flash Gordon (1980)
John Amos ... in a g-string. Oh. My. God.
Savior of the Universe edition out on DVD Tuesday, new show starts on Sci-Fi the following Friday.
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