"Would You Eat Your Buddies in a Blizzard?" - Been there, done that!Only if they were Kosher.
Eat my buddy’s what? Steak? Twinkies? Beans?
"Would You Eat Your Buddies in a Blizzard?" - Been there, done that!ping
I don’t need a quiz to know the answer. Once, When I was stuck in a blizzard with my buddies, I didn’t eat them.
If you’ve never read Mark Twain’s short story, “Cannibalism in the Cars,” you’ve missed quite a treat, as it were.
Yes, they’re all fat and marbly.
ping
>On March 16, 1883, with General Adams again supervising, Packer offered up a second confession. This time he said that the group had left Chief Ouray’s camp with 7-days supply of food for one man. Ten days into the journey, he said they were surviving on rosebuds and pine pitch and some of the men were showing severe signs of depression and madness. One day Swan told Packer (their erstwhile guide) to >go up on a mountain and scope out the trail. When Packer returned to camp, he said he found Bell sitting by the fire, roasting a chunk of meat from Miller’s thigh. As Packer approached, he said Bell picked up the hatchet and came at him. In self-defense, Packer shot Bell sideways through the stomach and Bell went down hard. Then Packer grabbed the hatchet and whacked Bell hard on top of his head to finish him off.
>Packer claimed that every day after that, he tried to leave the gruesome camp but was stopped by the snow depth. So each day he ate a bit more of his companions, surviving this way for about two months.
One more reason to keep a few days’ rations in the vehicle...
FREEP THIS POLL ***PING!*** FRmail me if you want to be added or removed from the Fearless Poll-Freeping Freepers Ping list. And be sure to ping me to any polls that need Freepin', if I miss them. (looks like a medium volume list) (gordongekko909, founder of the pinglist, stays on the list until his ghost signs up for the list)
(Scene: The interior of a lifeboat. Seagulls are crying.)
Sailor #1: Still no sign of land. How long is it?
Sailor #2: That’s a rather personal question, sir.
Sailor #1: (low voice)You stupid git. I meant how long has it been in the lifeboat? You’ve destroyed the atmosphere now.
Sailor #2: I’m sorry.
Sailor #1: Shut up. Start again.
Sailor #1: Still no sign of land. How long is it?
Sailor #2: 33 days, sir.
Sailor #1: Thirty-three days?
Sailor #2: We can’t go on much longer. (low voices) I didn’t think I destroyed the atmosphere.
Sailor #1: Shut up.
Sailor #2: Well, I don’t think I did.
Sailor #1: ‘Course you did.
Sailor #2: (aside, to 3) Did you think I destroyed the atmosphere?
Sailor #3: Yes I think you did.
Sailor #1: Shut up. Shut up!
Sailor #1: Still no sign of land. How long is it?
Sailor #2: 33 days, sir.
Sailor #4: Have we started again? (slap)
Sailor #1: STILL no sign of land. How long is it?
Sailor #2: 33 days, sir.
Sailor #1: Thirty-three days?
Sailor #2: We can’t go on much longer, sir. We haven’t eaten since the fifth day.
Sailor #5: We’re done for, we’re done for!
Sailor #1: Shut up, Morley.
Sailor #2: We’ve just got to keep hoping. Someone may find us.
Sailor #4: How we feeling, Captain?
Sailor #5: Not too good. I...I feel so weak.
Sailor #2: We can’t hold out much longer.
Sailor #5: Listen...chaps...there’s still a chance. I’m...done for, I’ve...got a gamy leg and I’m going fast; I’ll never get through. But...some of you might. So...you’d better eat me.
Sailor #1: Eat you, sir?
Sailor #5: Yes. Eat me.
Sailor #2: Iiuuhh! With a gamy leg?
Sailor #5: You didn’t eat the leg, Thompson. There’s still plenty of good meat. Look at that arm.
Sailor #3: It’s not just the leg, sir.
Sailor #5: What do you mean?
Sailor #5: Well, sir...it’s just that -
Sailor #5: Why don’t you want to eat me?
Sailor #3: I’d rather eat Johnson, sir! (points to sailor #4)
Sailor #2: So would I, sir.
Sailor #5: I see.
Sailor #4: Well that’s settled then...everyone’s gonna eat me!
Sailor #1: Uh, well.
Sailor #5: What, sir?
Sailor #1:: No, no you go ahead, please, I won’t.......
Sailor #4: Oh nonsense, sir, you’re starving; ducking.
Sailor #1: No, no, it’s not that.
Sailor #2: What’s the matter with Johnson, sir?
Sailor #1: Well, he’s not kosher.
Sailor #3: That depends how we kill him, sir.
Sailor #1: Yes, that’s true. But to be perfectly frank I...I like my meat a little more lean. I’d rather eat Hodges.
Sailor #2: Oh well, all right.
Sailor #5: I still prefer Johnson.
Sailor #5: I wish you’d all stop bickering and eat me.
Sailor #2: Look. I tell you what. Those who want to can eat Johnson. And you, sir, can have my leg. And we make some stock from the Captain, and then we’ll have Johnson cold for supper.
Sailor #1: Good thinking, Hodges.
Sailor #4: And we’ll finish off with the peaches. (picks up a tin of . peaches)
Sailor #3: And we can start off with the avocados. (picks up two avocados) Sailor #1: Waitress! (a waitress walks in) We’ve decided now, we’re going to have leg of Hodges...
(Boos off-screen. Cut to a letter.)
Voice Over: Dear Sir, I am glad to hear that your studio audience disapproves of the last skit as strongly as I. As a naval officer I abhor the implication that the Royal Navy is a haven for cannibalism. It is well known that we now have the problem relatively under control, and that it is the RAF who now suffer the largest casualties in this area. And what do you think the Argylls ate in Aden. Arabs? Yours etc. Captain B.J. Smethwick in a white wine sauce with shallots, mushrooms and garlic.
Something they always leave out of this discussion is that there is a big moral difference between committing murder for food and eating the body of someone deceased for other reasons.
Or at least that’s what I keep telling myself after that little soccer team flight I was on across the Andes...
76 percent.
Of course all my best friends are women.