But how is that going to end the repression of the working classes at the hands of an imperial self-perpetuating autocracy?
Draft 60 Year Olds...
New Direction for the war on terrorists. Send Prior Service Vets over 60!
I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I’m too old to track down terrorists.
(You can’t be older than 42 to join the military.)
They’ve got the whole thing backwards. Instead of sending 18-year-olds off to fight,
they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn’t be able to join a military unit until
you’re at least 35.
For starters:
Researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys only
think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more than 28,000 additional
seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.
Young guys haven’t lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a
dangerous soldier. “My back hurts! I can’t sleep, I’m tired and hungry!” We
are impatient and maybe letting us kill some asshole that desperately deserves it
will make us feel better and shut us up for a while.
An 18-year-old doesn’t even like to get up before 10 a.m.
Old guys always get up early to pee so what the hell. Besides, like I said, “I’m
tired and can’t sleep and since I’m already up, I may as well be up killing
some fanatical son-of-a-bitch.
If captured we couldn’t spill the beans because we’d forget where we put them.
In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser.
Boot camp would be easier for old guys. We’re used to getting screamed and
yelled at and we like soft food. We’ve also developed an appreciation for guns.
We’ve been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the house, away from
the screaming and yelling.
They could lighten up on the obstacle course however. I’ve been in combat and
didn’t see a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever
do any pushups after completing basic training. I can hear the Drill Sgt now,
“Get down and give me ... er .. one.”
Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy. I’ve never seen
anyone outrun a bullet.
An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He’s still learning to shave,
to start up a conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasn’t figured out
that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back of his head.
These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little more
about life before sending them off into harm’s way.
Let us old guys track down those dirty rotten cowards who attacked us on
September 11. The last thing an enemy would want to see right now is a couple
of million pissed off old farts with attitudes and automatic weapons who know
that their best years are already behind them.
If nothing else, put us on the border and we will have it secured the first night.
Share this with your senior friends. It’s purposely in big type so you can read it.
Now you terrorists pipe down. Don't make me have to come down there!
LMAO!
lol, that is priceless, and so true