Posted on 02/25/2008 8:57:10 AM PST by qam1
Yep, I think the worst so far we’ve had to do for my daughter was to wash her mouth out with soap when she let a Sh!t slip out of her mouth. She never said it in our presence again.
My boy, he’s just like me, naturally anti-authority and constantly checking where the boundaries are. Sometimes he’s so far in his own head with stuff the only way to get his attention so that we can actually explain the boundaries is to spank him. I HATE IT but if I am calm then I know I’m doing the right thing.
Oldest boy is waaayyy adhd. We were young when we had him—not a good combo, but I don’t know if anyone is really equipped to handle such a child. Daughter is in the middle, and a Godsend. Youngest is just S-t-u-b-b-o-r-n. I think he was born 45 and he’s gradually working his way back to his birth age, currently 18.
A smack to the face beats “Time Out” anyday of the week. Just don’t overdo it, or your kids may start asking you to tie them up and whip them as they get older...
About two weeks ago his father and I went to the school and met him in the principal's office. We told him, in no uncertain terms, that if he were disrespectful or disobedient or in trouble one more time this year, one of us would be coming to the school, bending him over the principal's desk and spanking his butt.
He's been *really* good since that day. (With the exception of a misplaced library book.) At home it's "Yes, ma'am" and "no, sir". He's not depressed. If anything he seems calmer and more loving. Weird, but he almost acts relieved.
The hard part was getting the principal to understand why we wanted to do what we were doing. He kept saying, "he's not that bad of a kid." I kept saying, "I want to keep it that way!" In the end we did get his unconditional support.
OK, I didn’t read this really. But isn’t “SuperNanny” another woman who just uses “time-outs” and doesn’t hit?
Father first, friend second.
‘While some parents may be more relaxed about corporal punishment, Elizabeth Hartley Brewer, an expert in child development and parenting, believes that such attitudes must be resisted. “Children can’t defend themselves verbally or physically,” she says.’
The problem is, they usually START it! Why NOT physically get back at a little brat who thinks he’s high & mighty enough to hit people?
This has been the way for centuries; it is natural (look at other animals). Why do we think suddenly in the last 50 years (Dr. Spock) that we know better? Kids and pets are much more annoying and bratty and unlikeable now. Connection to this permissive style with no threat of hitting? You bet.
And I’ve always wondered, “how do you KEEP the kid in the corner for ‘time-out’ if they don’t really want to obey?”
Thanks for the great laugh on a Monday!
I spanked my daughter for running into the road. A neighbor said “do you want her to fear you”
Similar is the parent who would smack a kid so they DON’T go out in the road. To which I’d reply, “Do you want her to get run over?”
People need to read Bill Koehler’s old dog-training book, who used similar replies to ninnies. They’d get the idea on discipline from that now-hated dog book.
That sounds too familiar.....
That sounds like an opinion.
You might consider that the advent of your kind of thinking very closely tracks the decline of civility and academic achievement in our society as a whole.
Think there might be some correlation?
(I won't even get into what scripture has to say...)
If given a choice, both of my kids prefer to be spanked over any other punishment. As my daughter says, "A couple of stings, you learn your lesson and it's over. Grounding and restrictions just go on and on! It's torture! Half the time you forget why you were grounded anyway. You always remember why you got a spanking."
They're teenagers now and I think they got the right idea.
A year ago my daughter was 15 and had been a handful for about 6 months. I'd tried talking to her, teaching her, listening to her, trying to work with her, but the disrespect was getting completely out of hand. One night she got saucy with me for the last time. I jacked her against the wall and smacked the crap out of her. I then told her that I'd had it and that if she couldn't *feel* respect for me, she'd better hide it real well. I told her that this was *my* house and that she'd act like the well-behaved guest or face the consequences.
After that, not ONE problem. Not one. She started talking to me again, sharing problems and treating me with love.
I haven't had to tan her hide many times, but sometimes it really is the best solution. Spanking is *one* aspect of parenting, not the whole thing and certainly not the answer to every problem.
Personally, I don’t like the caution against “lashing out in anger”, or however you want to phrase it.
I think it’s psychotic if you lash out when you’re happy, or too calm, or whatever. Physical punishment should be coupled and identified with the “anger”. What’s wrong with being angry? It makes more sense. When the parent shows anger, the kid knows now to stop before it goes to the physical.
And don’t hand the nonsense that you’re more likely to be “abusive” if you’re angry. More likely, maybe, but still very small % chance of being truly abusive as to not count.
As for remembering? I remember only being spanked once. I know I was hit when a toddler, which I simply cannot remember as a matter of course, because I was told so. They almost never needed to hit me because the message got through. I got a few more “tongue-lashings” than I got spankings.
duct tape.
“Dr. Spock disavowed his own writings and theories ages ago... and still idiots buy and follow his trype(sic).”
Really? I never read about him changing his mind. Is there any source for this?
My mother was 1 who resisted the Spock phenomenon when it was just about 10 years old and all the rage (and probably raised alot of our Hippies). She was pushed into it by all the vogue moms but she read the book (late ‘50s) and just dumped it, calling it a bunch of hogwash.
bump for later
“My mom always did say she never had a problem taking us out in public anywhere and that we were well behaved.”
Yup, I and my siblings too. Including at the “you-can’t-control-them” stages of 2 and 3.
Those stages, LOL - people seem to think now every age is a “stage” for a kid to go through, as a brat, and they can ignore the kids’ behavior because “it’s just a stage and you can’t do anything”!
“Can you imagine trying to get 5 out of their car seats and into the store, then reverse that?!”
You didn’t have to do that BS then. There was no such thing. It was freedom from government interference.
And they wonder why more kids seem to be left in cars to freeze and fry.
You got stones Marie!! Good job.
I’ll have to remember this story for later :)
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