Posted on 08/20/2008 5:53:05 PM PDT by yorkie
This has to be some of the worst, most anti-man biased crap I have read in some time. They have no balance; everything is about how the woman’s brain is better at things, and how the man’s brain needs external mechanisms to cope. These articles could be re-written to reflect the bias in the opposite direction, except that the screams of “sexism” would be heard three states away. Therefore, and in spite of the wails of “male chauvinist pig”, in the spirit of fairness (NB this is satire; don’t shoot the messenger):
Be patient with his memory:
He doesn’t obsess endlessly over trivial details like you do. You’ll have to accept that in the real world, where he lives, it doesn’t matter if he can’t remember what color your sweater was on your first date; he wasn’t there for fashion tips, and you shouldn’t have been either. Also, while the male hippocampus occupies a smaller percentage of the male brain than the female hippocampus does of the female brain, this is because the male brain is larger overall; the hippocampus is roughly equal in size in both sexes (NB I don’t necessarily have the science to back this one up, but it fits with the smarmy tone of the original article).
Don’t expect him to get hints:
Let’s face it: when you and your other female friends were eight, and made up all kinds of codes and secret languages with each other, he and his buddies were busy yearning to be grown up men, and to do great things. Isn’t it time you grew up and started speaking directly, instead of beating around the bush?
Don’t take conversational lulls personally:
Fact is, guys just don’t need all the extra verbal baggage women do to convey an idea or emotion; they have a far greater precision of language and sense of conciseness than women do.
Appreciate his upbeat nature:
The male brain naturally produces over 50% more serotonin than the female brain. Thus, you should understand that he isn’t going to appreciate your constant downbeat attitude. Buck up and at least put on a happy face when the two of you are together.
Remember, his brain is his largest sex organ:
The preoptic portion of the hypothalamus is twice as large in men as it is in women, and this area of the brain governs mating behavior. So, remember, it’s not that you’re frigid, it’s just normal brain behavior.
And, the Female brain:
Pay attention to the little things:
Women are far more obsessive over details, and tend to read meaning into nearly any gesture or comment, whether it’s there or not. So be sure to try to stay engaged in the conversation, and don’t sweat it if she freaks when you start talking sports, since you know you didn’t mean anything hurtful by it.
Keeping up with her memory:
It’s a scientific fact: women remember everything. So, be ready, when she gets upset that you couldn’t remember if it rained on your first date ten years ago, to remind her that you weren’t going on the date to observe the weather. Not only will this impress her with your focus on her, but will score you points for thoughtfulness as well.
Her timidity vs. your take-charge nature:
Women tend to lack the drive for domination that men possess. Their orbitofrontal cortex, which acts as a regulator on the amygdala, an ancient part of the brain concerned with survival and defense, is heavily overdeveloped. They cannot properly defend themselves. While it is important to remain civilized at a party when you’re insulted, remember too that she’ll try to run away from the situation instead of confronting the jerk and standing up for yourself.
Women are strongly verbal:
Let’s face it, women do have a strong verbal ability. While she’ll never really get the hang of the stick shift in your old Porsche, and she won’t be able to understand the equations you’re using to design that new bridge downtown, she does do a lot more “word processing” than you do. Remember to buy her a nice card from time to time, and if you think of it, ask a female friend for some advice on which one, since you’ve got that big presentation with the board tomorrow.
Be her serotonin:
The female brain produces far less serotonin than the male brain, less than half as much. So, be patient with her and do your best to keep her involved in your activities together. She’ll never be as upbeat and positive as you are, so encourage her: take her to the park on sunny days, fly a kite together, or go see a funny movie (no, not Animal House, something harmlessly funny) together.
NO more calls, please.
WE have a winner.
(...and while you're at it, get me a tuna on rye.)
Cheers!
Mr. Legs & I watched your video and I think I finally understand that when I ask him “What are you thinking?” and he says “Nothing.” that he really truly is not thinking about anything.
I can’t even imagine what that’s like, but it’s good to know.
ROTF!!
NO more calls, please.
WE have a winner.
(...and while you're at it, get me a tuna on rye.)
Cheers!
Totally agree except I'm not the least bit hungry, I wonder why?
In a related observation, perhaps this is why men like loose fitting pants???
Men are basically simpletons whose brains are not as complex or effective as women's brains.
As if I needed to read this stupid article for that? I hear it just about daily from my significant other.
No “beer” button?!
Come on, do women really need an article to explain a guy’s brain to them? Guys want food, sex, and to be the alpha-male. Women have all kinds of comfusing emotions that, despite being a woman, I can’t even understand, so I’m not even gonna try to explain them. The problem is, too many women act like men think like them, then get upset when the men act and think like men. I just don’t get those women... it’s like if you had a toy poodle, then got a border colllie and got all upset cause your border collie doesn’t like to sit on your lap all day like your toy poodle did.
I thought it was Tammy Bruce (the other semi-ex feminist / ex-NOW member, lesbian).
She said that “architecture and engineering were the subtle poetry of men.”
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