That’s the other dilemma. My wife is not a big fan of guns and has a fear of them. I understand fear in terms of safety is good but I also want her to feel comfortable firing them and practicing. I was thinking that for her I might get a 9mm pistol or possibly a 9mm carbine. Something with little kick that she can practice and feel comfortable with.
Almost no recoil, simple, rugged, and reliable almost to a fault.
They're not cheap, but they're worth every dime.
Factor in the low cost of .22 LR ammo and you can shoot all day for 20 bucks.
L
As others on the thread have said the gun you have for home defense should feel good in your hands. You are not likely find a shotgun that is comfortable to both you and your wife.
With a pistol you have a better shot at having a gun both you and your wife can use.
I personally have always tried to sway people away from shotguns as a home defense weapon.
Unless you practice frequently with the weapon indoors the length of the weapon is going to be a drawback. Walls doorways and post are difficult to maneuver around with a long gun unless you have practiced these moves.
Also a person with a long gun is easier to disarm because the barrel protrudes farther from the body than a pistol.
Despite what many people think the pattern from a shotgun at 10 feet (the longest distance a person is likely to be shot in a home) is only two inches. Not a great advantage over a pistol.
In a 9 mm you also get at least 10 rounds. In a shotgun you typically only get six.
In the close quarters of a building I prefer a pistol over a shotgun.