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[George in a meeting at Yankee Stadium]

GEORGE: I believe the doors on the bathroom stalls, here at the stadium, don't offer much by way of privacy. But I was thinking if we extend the doors all the way to the floors......
MR. STEINBRENNER: All the way to the floor! What are you crazy! You'd suffocate in there. Your lucky you have any doors at all. You know when I was in the army...... Hey Costanza. What's that your eating over there? It looks pretty tasty.
GEORGE: It's a calzone, sir.
MR. STEINBRENNER: A calzone huh. Pass it down here. Let's have a look at at it. I want a little taste. Come on, come on. Pass it down here. That's a good boy. Okay. What's in this thing?
GEORGE: Uh. Cheese, pepperoni, eggplant.
MR. STEINBRENNER: Eggplant. Yes. That's a hell of a thing. Okay let's get back to business. Okay here you go. Very good, very good. Excellent. excellent calzone you got there Costanza. Okay a little jealous now. Okay lets go. Ok last week....... You know that eggplant was very good. Everybody out. I got eggplant on my mind. Costanza get me couple of those calzones right now. Pronto. Move out. Pigstein what's an eggplant calzone. Must have one. Everybody out. Out.

[Jerry and George at the coffee shop]

GEORGE: There putting in a lost and found because of me. There's a time limit but still.
JERRY: There really building a Utopian society up there huh.And you tribute all this to the calzone.
GEORGE: Yeah. I am like a drug dealer. I got the guy hooked. I am having lunch at his desk everyday this week. He doesn't make a move without me. It's very exciting.
JERRY: With you two guys at the helm. The last piece of the puzzle is in place.
GEORGE: So let me ask you a question about the tip jar. I had a little thing with the calzone guy this week. I go to drop a buck in the tip jar and just as I am about to drop it in he looks the other way. And then when I am leaving he gives me this look think thanks for nothing. I mean if they don't notice it what's the point.
JERRY: So you don't make it a habit of giving to the blind.
GEORGE: Not bills.

[George at Pisano's]

WORKER: Number 49.
GEORGE: You know my last name is Costanza. That's Italian. So you and I are like country men. Pisano's!
WORKER: $ 6.50 your change.
GEORGE: And I always take care of my Pisano's. So here is a little something. (drop in tip and worker looks the other way, so George decides to take it out and try again only to get caught)
WORKER: Hey! You steal my money!!
GEORGE: No no. That's not what I was trying to do.
WORKER: I know what you try to do. Get out. Don't ever come back ever.

[Kramer at Pisano's]

[Kramer at Pisano's] KRAMER: Hey. It's really wet out there.
WORKER: What can I get you?
KRAMER: I here you make a pretty mean calzone.
WORKER: Calzone!
KRAMER: Yeah calzone.
WORKER: The best!
KRAMER: All right. Lay them on me. I'll take three.
WORKER: Three calzones.
KRAMER: Hey. That's a big oven. Huh. Listen. I was wondering if you could do me a favor.

[Kramer at Pisano's]

WORKER: Your order is ready. Three calzones and one shirt and jacket.
KRAMER: Oh. This is all burned up. Look at this.
WORKER: What the hell do I know about cooking a shirt? What the hell is this? Your paying in pennies?
KRAMER: That's all I got.
WORKER: No. You have to have bills. Paper money. You can't pay with this.
KRAMER: I told you this is all I got.
WORKER: Then no calzones.
(Worker and Kramer yelling at each other back and forth in Italian)

[George's office at Yankee Stadium]

GEORGE: What happened? Where have you been?
KRAMER: The guy wouldn't give them to me because I wanted to pay in change.
GEORGE: What the hell happened to your shirt?
KRAMER: He overcooked it. It's ruined.
GEORGE: Your clothes smell just like Pisano's. There's another Italian place on Jerome. Maybe I can fool him...

< /SEINFELD - The Calzone>