Let the joking begin.
How would this turn out if he was married to Loreena Bobbit?
A pirate came into town, having not been there for a while. He went into the local tavern and sat down at the bar. The bartender noticed him and said, “You haven’t been here for a while. What happened to you? You’ve lost a leg, and now have a wooden leg, and a hand, so you have a hook on your arm, and an eyepatch covers your eye.”
“Aye,” said the pirate, “I lost me leg battlin’ the Spanish in the war. I lost me hand in the battle between us and another ship.”
The bartender asked, “Did you lose the eye in a battle also?”
“No,” sighed the pirate, “I lost that from seagull droppings.”
“Seagull droppings? How could you lose an eye from seagull droppings?”
“First day with the hook.”