Welcome to Free Republic ;o)
Barack Hussein Obama and Joseph ‘Plugs” Biden are President and Vice President of the United States.
(oh...you said a GOOD joke...not just a joke)
IBTZAB !
Did you hear the one about the Troll who signed up to get the Zot?
“I think Zero is a pretty cool guy. eh uses teleprompters and doesn’t afraid of anything.”
_______________________________
OK. Internet meme. ;)
Obama
HAHAHAAA...LOL
IBTZ
President Obama has promised tax cuts.
ROFLMAO!
From my email box...
CREATIVE PUNS FOR “EDUCATED MINDS”
1. The roundest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir
Cumference.He acquired his size from too much pi .
2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan
island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian .
3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.
4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was
a weapon of math disruption.
5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder
and got a little behind in his work.
6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationery.
7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall.
The police are looking into it.
12. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway.
One hat said to the other, ‘You stay here; I’ll go on a head.’
14. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger.
Then it hit me.
15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said:
‘Keep off the Grass.’
16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital.
When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, ‘No change yet.’
17. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
19. The short fortune-teller who escaped from
prison was a small medium at large.
20. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned
veteran.
21. A backward poet writes inverse.
22. In democracy it’s your vote that counts. In feudalism it’s your count that votes.
23. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.
23 1/2. When cannibals ate a clown they said it tasted funny.
24. Don’t join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects!
25. Psycho rapist runs away from crime-—Nut, screws and bolts.
Two contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House.
One is from Chicago , and the other is from Texas .
The Texas contractor does some measuring and figuring, then says, I can do this job for $700: $300 for materials, $300 for my crew and $100 profit for me.
The Chicago contractor doesn’t measure or figure, but leans over to the White House official and whispers, $2,700.
The official, incredulous, says, You didn’t even measure like the other guy!
How did you come up with such a high figure?
The Chicago contractor whispers back, $1000 for me, $1000 for you, and we hire the guy from Texas to fix the fence.
Done! replies the government official.
And that, my friends, is how the new stimulus plan will work.
Smile, and wait for the flash.
HOGS
Last Tuesday, as President Obama got off the helicopter in front of the White House, he was carrying a baby piglet under each arm.
The squared away Marine guard snaps to attention, salutes, and says: “Nice pigs, sir.”
The President replies: “These are not pigs. These are authentic Arkansas Razorback Hogs. I got one for Secretary of State Hillary Clinton and I got one for Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi.”
The squared away Marine again snaps to attention, salutes, and says: “Excellent trade, sir.”
PSALM 2009-2012: FIRST BOOK OF DEMOCRAT :
OBAMA IS MY SHEPHERD, I SHALL NOT WANT.
HE LEADETH ME BESIDE STILL FACTORIES.
HE RESTORETH MY FAITH IN THE REPUBLICANS
HE GUIDETH ME IN THE PATH OF UNEMPLOYMENT.
YEA, THOUGH I WALK THROUGH THE VALLEY OF THE BREAD LINE, I SHALL NOT GO HUNGRY.
OBAMA HAS ANOINTED MY INCOME WITH TAXES,
MY EXPENSES RUNNETH OVER MY INCOME,
SURELY, POVERTY AND HARD LIVING WILL FOLLOW ME ALL THE DAYS OF MY LIFE.
THE DEMOCRATS AND I WILL LIVE FOREVER IN A RENTED HOME.
BUT I AM GLAD I AM AN AMERICAN,
I AM GLAD THAT I AM FREE.
BUT I WISH I WAS A DOG
AND OBAMA WAS A TREE.
‘A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong enough to take everything you have.’
-Thomas Jefferson -