I’m glad I said something that you and gegeo found funny. Thank you for a mature and intelligent response.
Don’t be too hard on them, Jen. We’ve all gone through a stage in our lives when we think that, when we have children, we will have everything planned and laid out. None of the chaos or problems that other, less well organized or “prepared” parents have had. Kids just blow all that self-assurance to smithereens. All parents know that. I think that’s what they were laughing at, not you.
I was 19 when I got married. My husband was 23. I dropped out of college to support him while he finished his degree. When he graduated, we had a one-year-old. I kind of approached the whole thing with the attitude that having a family was what the Lord wanted me to do, and that if my husband and I worked hard and did our best, the Lord would help us fill in the gaps. He always did.
I can’t tell you how glad I am that I married young and had a large family. Two of the greatest surprises in life are (1) What an immense pleasure it is to hang out with your adult children, who have grown into responsible human beings, and (2) how much more fun it is to be a grandmother than a mom.
You’re so welcome!
Please don’t be offended, it’s all in good fun.
Look, you can’t be emotionally ready for a kid until after you have one. That’s just not how it works.
There’s nothing wrong with choosing to wait, or choosing not to have any at all, but to imagine you’ll one day wake up and say “Hey, I’m financially stable, emotionally ready, the world is at peace, the economy is great, and I want to make a baby!” is a little silly, isn’t it?
You will always worry that you don’t have enough money, that you won’t be a good parent, and that you have no idea what you’re doing; it’s part of parenting. But putting off having a baby because of these things will leave you in a situation like Lucy’s.
Becoming a parent is a life-altering experience. You'll never be ready. It's the emotional and intellectual equivalent of going over Niagara Falls in a barrel. You'll survive it, but you won't be in control of it.
Being a little more financially set is a good thing; so is a little more maturity.
On the other hand, there's something to be said for youth; you'll tolerate lack of sleep better, you'll have more energy, and you won't be as set in your ways.
Please, don't be under the illusion you'll ever be "ready." I think that's what we were giggling about.