[The Comedian]

String Theory is horsepuckery. Lovely and furious equations signifying nothing.

This is tragic. It's "Not Even Wrong".

Here's some real science to cleanse the palette:

http://arxiv.org/PS_cache/hep-th/pdf/0601/0601129v2.pdf

Frowning takes 68 muscles.
Smiling takes 6.
Pulling this trigger takes 2.
I'm lazy.

[I Buried My Guns]

"...Stephen Hawking has stepped down ..."

Excellent choice of words there.

So, does the new guy get Steven's hot, hot nurse? she was quite a looker IIRC.

[Daffynition]