I think you don’t understand what I am saying.
Just because you work at an Ihop or a Used car lot does not mean you are not smart, or not hard working or any of the things you tried to make fit. These people could be working their way through college, whatever.
“These people could be working their way through college, whatever.”
Of course, and I think I understand.
An honest, hardworking, reasonable ambitious man is attractive to a young woman.
I am trying to say, there is nothing immoral about not being attracted to a deadbeat!
I started going out with my husband when he was working as a rental car agent and living in his parents’ garage. . . but he wasn’t a deadbeat, he took care of business, he had plans.
I don’t think it is crass, commercial, or bad for a young woman to consider whether a husband is going to have a reasonable chance of providing for her and whatever children they should have should they marry. Women are very vulnerable with young kids. And young kids are very vulnerable. It would be stupid and careless not to consider whether a man can support you or not when considering whether you should marry him. That’s not being a “gold digger.”
Traditionally, that’s what a father of the bride asks a prospective mate: “How do you plan to provide for my daughter/ the family?”
It’s a reality of life. Pregnant women and women with little children do not do well at providing for themselves or the kid(s). They can’t.
Single moms with 2/3/4/5 kids are often complained about on FR - welfare deadbeats, badly behaved children - yet when a woman holds out for a man she can be more certain of being a good provider, some on FR act as though she is an immoral golddigger. I don’t think that’s reasonable or consistent.