Replies

I can find no scriptural basis for exhorting people to have sex with such and such frequency. People differ in their sex drive, and setting quantitative goals seems to me to just encourage people to feel discontented, rather than to think first of the partner, as the Gospel teaches. With enough agape love, anything becomes possible.Yes, Judeo-Christianity is extremely positive about sex, provided it is monogamous and in a context of love. It is also very positive about the natural consequence of sex, which is children. Everything God commands is for our own good. Even the horniest of men usually wind up married, because monogamy is best for all concerned.

seems to me to just encourage people to feel discontented

I agree. What's wrong with just letting couples decide what they want to do, and when. Too much salivating is simply tacky, and can make people feel there's something wrong with their just making one another happy, even if it's not what someone else would call "hot, steamy," or whatever.

First, there is a scriptural basis for exhorting people to fully meet the needs of their spouse. But, you are right — if everyone’s satisfied, there isn’t a frequency requirement.

But ...

Second, marital relationships are almost never harmed by too much sex within the relationship. A quantitiative goal helps demonstrate the intimacy a relationship may be missing when the frequency has dipped.

SnakeDoc

"I can find no scriptural basis for exhorting people to have sex with such and such frequency"

Really? What do you think Paul was talking about when he said a. a husband's body is not his own, his wife has rights to it, likewise the wife's and b. don't be apart (sexually/intimately as the context is clear) too long, except for prayer, else the enemy will tempt you. Do you think he was talking about doing grocery shopping together? Since I was a young boy growing up a Pentecostal Preacher's son, I knew Song of Solomon was the most beautiful AND Godly ordained erotic book in the Bible, and when Hebrews says 'The bed, in marriage, is undefiled' i.e., anything goes, when done in Godly, Holy, Selfless love with your spouse. That's why I laugh with disgust at the ignorance when Madonna thinks religous folks are too sexually repressive and she's got the corner on it. Deep down she would crave a loving intimate relationship with total surrender to each other. A survey taken a number of years ago found that the most fundamental and God-fearing people were the most sexually intimate and pleased with their love life.

But, in balance to several poster's points, the how/when/how-much/what is totally personal between husband/wife. Plus, this much needed openness of discussion of the topic must come with strong awareness that Satan would love to take the openness of the discussion between church members and use it for 'isolated discussions'.