Of more concern is understanding your wife's lack of religious belief. I have several atheists in my extended family. They all have a need to believe in something bigger than themselves, and choose to either put their belief in big gov't or the Earth. They were never baptized and are very tough nuts to crack. Your wife, however, had a religious background and perhaps she is "wandering" for whatever reason.
So now you speak for "Conservatives"?
Conservatism is a political philosophy, exclusively.
To suggest that all conservatives are against gay marriage, is not accurate. Some of us don't give a sh!t either way.
Try speaking for yourself.