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Essay:John Wall divorce agreement
conservapedia ^ | unk. | John J. Wall

Posted on 07/15/2010 7:45:21 PM PDT by Signalman

Divorce agreement

Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists and Obama supporters, et al:

We have stuck together since the late 1950's, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has run its course. Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way. Here is a model separation agreement:

Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each taking a portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy!

Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes. We don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep them. You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU. Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA and the military. You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore and Rosie O'Donnell (You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them). We'll keep the capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart and Wall Street. You can have your beloved homeless, homeboys, hippies and illegal aliens. We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO's and rednecks. We'll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood. You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us. You can have the peaceniks and war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we'll help provide them security. We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values. You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism and Shirley McClain. You can also have the U.N.. but we will no longer be paying the bill.

We'll keep the SUVs, pickup trucks and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Subaru station wagon you can find. You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing doctors. We'll continue to believe healthcare is a luxury and not a right. We'll keep The Battle Hymn of the Republic and the National Anthem. I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute Imagine, I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing, Kum Ba Ya or We Are the World. We'll practice trickle down economics and you can give trickle up poverty your best shot. Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history, our name and our flag.

Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just hit delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you ANWAR which one of us will need whose help in 15 years. ”


John J. Wall

Law Student and an American

P.S. Also, please take Barbara Streisand & Jane Fonda with you.

TOPICS: Miscellaneous
KEYWORDS: agreement; divorce; wall

1 posted on 07/15/2010 7:45:24 PM PDT by Signalman
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To: Signalman

I wish & pray we could somehow do this. Give the RAT bastard liberals & demoRATs their own stinkin’ socialist country and we conservatives will get our country. Make the 52% dumbasses who voted for 0b0z0 to live in their socialist country and we get only those who did not vote for 0b0z0. That way the ignorant gullible voters who brought this commie pig travesty upon us, will have to live with the consequences of their stupidity.

2 posted on 07/15/2010 7:53:17 PM PDT by rcrngroup
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To: rcrngroup

I think that those blue areas on the map will be shrinking from now on. I think that most of the suburbs, where the taxpaying middle class lives, will finally come to their senses and realize that they are the cash cows for all the democrat big government schemes.

Don’t forget that many people in the suburbs are children of people who grew up in the democrat controlled cities. The suburbanites has been brought up as democrats for generations but they are starting to wake up to reality. Look at the Scott Brown election, that is the future trend. People in the suburbs strongly supported Scott Brown even in liberal Massachusetts.

3 posted on 07/15/2010 8:48:26 PM PDT by cradle of freedom (Long live the Republic !)
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To: rcrngroup

“Give the RAT bastard liberals & demoRATs their own stinkin’ socialist country.”

How about relocating all of them to Mexico at bayonet point?

4 posted on 07/15/2010 9:21:18 PM PDT by DarthVader (That which supports Barack Hussein Obama must be sterilized and there are NO exceptions!)
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