I wonder about your obsession with it. There have been lots of times that I have seen something that I've looked at every day, and I get a flash of insight that I never had before.
I think you're missing the whole point. It's not that Obama married a woman that looked old enough to be his mother. She is a "mother figure" for him - the black mother he did not have - that he probably longed to have, especially since his black father was absent from his life.
I think there is a correlation between men whose fathers were physically or emotionally absent from them at a crucial time in their childhood - a correlation between that and a propensity for a man to be gay, or bisexual. I'll probably be poo-pooed for saying that & asked for scientific evidence - but it's mostly just an observation of mine. Obama fits the profile perfectly.
Seeing the picture, I can understand the insight.
You are entirely right - many homosexuals, both male and female, had fathers who were either physically absent or emotionally very cold and distant, or abusive.
There’s more to it but that’s the part you mentioned, and it is true. Boys with no fathers tend to have other negatives too, like a tendency to commit crimes.
I agree with your assessment. There is an innate need to have basic needs of worthiness met by our parents. When they don’t meet those needs due to absence or selfishness, then one can internalize the feeling of unworthiness (ie-if I were worthy, they’d meet my needs). It’s a base instinct and need.
Therefore, I contend, self rejection can occur and I think that can even translate to our own sexuality. You reject WHO you are and that drives homosexuality and bisexuality.