2 of my grandsons have behavioral problems. My son warns them once, after that he will remove them from the venue,(store,church etc). Most times the 1 warning is enough, but my son will not disturb others, as he has been in the same situations and other kids annoy him with their antics. As a parent of the 2 with problems, he sees both sides and is considerate enough to the situations that arise.
I know of a woman that has a 9 yo son with autism. She is in denial about his condition. As such, she takes him all over and he causes scenes which she is unable to control. She acts defensive of her son but I put a lot of blame on her as she doesn’t get him the help he needs. BTW, he was diagnosed 3 years ago. He throws the dog down the stairs and has tortured my neices cat. Both times he blamed his cousins and even tho’ their were witnesses, Mom punished the cousins.Those are BIG trouble signs for the future for this poor child, yet his mother just spoils him because he is “Special”. I don’t want to see what he does to her in a few years.
I am sorry for your situation. I am not a parent but I can only imagine how hard it must be for your son.
As far that woman; it sounds to me like both she and her son need to seek help.
Being born disabled since birth myself; I was fortunate that I had a mother who resisted the temptation to spoil me and give me everythig. As she once told my dad:
If she is going to survive; she needs to be treated just like the others within reason.
Bingo! If you read my other posts, you’ll see I wouldn’t tolerate that in a heartbeat. That’s a heart issue - enabled by the mother - NOT an Autism thing. My son is similar age but he’s learned a long time ago, in spite of Mommy treating him special that Daddy will discipline. The way you describe it, that kid is going to have a bad life, and the sad thing is, because he’s Autistic and there really are frustrating things going on inside his head, he won’t be cut a break when his heart does something vicious and the Autistic reasoning of his brain will be able to cope less with the hand of the Law and Society repercussions than even a ‘normal’ person would barely be able to.