[null and void]

You need to go to your local Napa Auto parts. Ask for a Johnsons 3785 specific gravity wrench. Make sure you get a 3785. They might tell you a 3795 will do, but if it isn't a 3785 you'll be in a world of hurt.

LISTER: Rimmer, I'm bored!
RIMMER: Bored?! This is essential routine maintenance! It's absolutely vital for the well-being of this crew, this mission, and this ship. (Reading his clipboard) "Dispenser 172: chicken soup nozzle clogged."

He puts down his clipboard.

RIMMER: Pass me a 14B, Lister.

LISTER hands him a small, white pipe cleaner.

RIMMER: Lister, is this a 14B? Does it look even *remotely* like a 14B?

He reaches into the parts trolley and pulls out another white pipe cleaner, indistinguishable from the first.

RIMMER: *This* is a 14B, Lister. This (indicating the original) is a 14F. Are you blind?!
LISTER: Who cares?
RIMMER: *I* care, Lister!

RIMMER looks at them both, realizes he can't tell the difference either, and quickly puts the one he chose back in the trolley.

[Grizzled Bear]

Oh yeah? Well, if Lister had duct tape, he’d be in Fiji with Kochanski, Cat and Kryten!

Duct tape is great! It’s really, really great!