Posted on 12/02/2010 11:26:45 AM PST by hawkins
Full list please?
Curb and Your Dog
I allow my wife to wear socks in the kitchen.
Geez, I’m not a monster.
And an apron when she’s frying stuff...
Shall never meet.
“Did you do anything around here today?”
___________________________________________________________
I asked that once. She had done stuff. I heard all about it. Then I heard about a few things that I hadn’t done around the place.
Why do women have smaller feet than men?
so they can stand closer to the sink.
Mark Gungor - Men's Brain Women's Brain
You'd pay good money for that, wouldn't you?
Here's another (I've got about 5 responses for this one, and they all work:
She (moodily): "What are you thinking about?"
He: "You know, I was thinking about the day I first saw you in that (restaurant/cafe/movie theater/beach/party/barbecue/strip joint) and how you just took my breath away, and how amazing it is that you can still do that now".
And what better way to say, "I love you" than, with the gift of a spatula?
My husband has it figured out, whenever I start getting annoyed he comes at me with guilty remorse with.."I know, I'm such an a@@-hole." After so many years together this one really works, I can't help laughing.
A link to an old Dave Barry column and a long excerpt:
http://homepage.eircom.net/~odyssey/Quotes/Modern_World/Dbr.html
Let’s say a guy named Roger is attracted to a woman named Elaine. He asks her out to a movie; she accepts; they have a pretty good time. A few nights later he asks her out to dinner, and again they enjoy themselves. They continue to see each other regularly, and after a while neither one of them is seeing anybody else.
And then, one evening when they’re driving home, a thought occurs to Elaine, and, without really thinking, she says it aloud: “Do you realize that, as of tonight, we’ve been seeing each other for exactly six months?”
And then there is silence in the car. To Elaine, it seems like a very loud silence. She thinks to herself: Geez, I wonder if it bothers him that I said that. Maybe he’s been feeling confined by our relationship; maybe he thinks I’m trying to push him into some kind of obligation that he doesn’t want, or isn’t sure of.
And Roger is thinking: Gosh. Six months.
And Elaine is thinking: But, hey, I’m not so sure I want this kind of relationship, either. Sometimes I wish I had a little more space, so I’d have time to think about whether I really want us to keep going the way we are, moving steadily toward ...I mean, where are we going? Are we just going to keep seeing each other at this level of intimacy? Are we heading toward marriage? Toward children? Toward a lifetime together? Am I ready for that level of commitment? Do I really even know this person?
And Roger is thinking...so that means it was...let’s see...February when we started going out, which was right after I had the car at the dealer’s, which means...lemme check the odometer...Whoa! I am way overdue for an oil change here.
My mom’s back used to hurt so badly dad would have to hold her up while she mopped.
I tell her to just sleep in the apron so she can jump up and fix breakfast without delay.
(This is getting ugly).
Did Elaine ever have a horse?
What are 'oxymorons', Alex?
The joke at our house is “When I get home from work I want it hot and on the table. And I’m not talking about dinner.”
LOL!
Joan Rivers recalled that one night she and her husband were in bed and she was feeling bored so she asked him to talk dirty to her.
He replied, “The bedroom, the bathroom, the kitchen floor, the hall carpet, the windows....”
;^)
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