Right next to our neighborhood is a section and a half we locals use for elk and deer hunting, about 960 acres of pine, fir, alder, etc., surrounded by farms and fields out along the roads. Some logging activity in recent years has left this area a mix of thick new growth with a lot of stumps, stump holes, and a mess of tangle-foot branches and sticks on the ground.
Just before the start of elk season, my neighbors were scouting out the area, looking for signs of elk activity among the logging trails and ravished timberland, when they came upon a huge stump hole, or some kind of hole. They peered over the edge into the darkness of what was to them the deepest stump hole they had ever seen.
There didn't seem to be a bottom. They tossed a rock into the hole, waiting for a thud to help determine the depth. Nothing. So they started looking around for a bigger rock to toss in.
Beneath one of the remaining huge fir trees, they found an old truck transmission, mostly covered with leaves and debris. Together they heaved and carried the huge block of rusting machinery over to the edge of the hole, swung it to a count of three, and let it go into the abyss.
Leaning over the hole, they listened carefully, waiting for a thud or splash that might reveal the depth of this mysterious hole.
All of a sudden, from the trees behind them, came this horrendous thrashing, snapping, crashing, branches breaking, like a whole herd of elk, or something, was breaking through the brush, and was fixing to trample them into the mud.
They both scrambled to get behind a tree or stump, just as a huge old billy goat burst from the trees into the clearing, raced across the few yards of open area, and jumped head-first into the hole, soon disappearing into the darkness of the abyss.
My baffled neighbors crawled back over to the edge of the hole, first peering downward, then looking agape at each other, wondering what the heck was that all about.
Before they could completely reassemble their wits, here come another rustling among the branches and trees, and they both scrambled back for the cover of their respective stump and tree.
Out from the trees comes this huge old fellow in bib overalls and a John Deere cap, and he says, "Hey, you fellers wouldn't happen to have seen a big old billy goat wandering around here, would you?"
The two neighbors looked at the farmer, then at each other, then back at the farmer, then one of them says, "Well, you ain't gonna believe this, but yes, we did see a big old billy goat; come busting out through the trees, and jumped head-first into this here big old gaping hole. Darnedest thing we've ever seen."
The big old farmer looked mighty puzzled, scratched his head and mumbled, "That's just impossible. I had him chained up tight to an old logging truck transmission."
Ooops! Hate it when that happens...
Read that story 3 times and each time I laughed louder...