Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

To: Mayr Fortuna

why the English language is so hard to learn:

> 1) The bandage was wound around the wound.

> 2) The farm was used to produce produce.

> 3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

> 4) We must polish the Polish furniture.

> 5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.

> 6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

> 7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time
to present the present.

> 8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

> 9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

> 10) I did not object to the object.

> 11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

> 12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.

> 13) They were too close to the door to close it.

> 14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.

> 15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

> 16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

> 17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

> 18) After a number of injections my jaw got number.

> 19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

> 20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

> 21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

> English: interesting language.

> There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor

> pine in pineapple. English muffins weren’t invented in England or

> french fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads,

> which aren’t sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we

> explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing

> rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a

> pig. And why is it that writers write but fingers don’t fing,

> grocers don’t groce and hammers don’t ham?

>

> If the plural of tooth is teeth,

> why isn’t the plural of booth beeth?

> One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese?

> One index, 2 indices?

>

> Doesn’t it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If

> you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them,

> what do you call it? If teachers taught, why didn’t preachers praught?

> If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

> In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?

> Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?

> Have noses that run and feet that smell?

> How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and

> a wise guy are opposites?

> house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by

> filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.

> People, not computers invented English, and it reflects the creativity

> of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why,

> when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out,

> they are invisible.

> P.S.

> Why doesn’t “buick” rhyme with “quick”?


13 posted on 01/09/2011 5:37:14 AM PST by patriot08 (TEXAS GAL- born and bred and proud of it!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies ]


To: patriot08

You may not have been as helpful as you intended.

LLOTF


20 posted on 01/09/2011 5:45:29 AM PST by Delta 21 (If you cant tell if I'm being sarcastic...maybe I'm not.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 13 | View Replies ]

To: patriot08

And spelling – I was trying to help a young lady learn English. She thought I was messing with her when I told her how to pronounce “telephone”. When she sounded it out she said “tele pa ho ne”.


21 posted on 01/09/2011 5:45:41 AM PST by R. Scott (Humanity i love you because when you're hard up you pawn your Intelligence to buy a drink)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 13 | View Replies ]

To: patriot08

ROFL, thanks for that.


22 posted on 01/09/2011 5:49:40 AM PST by TheZMan (Just secede and get it over with. No love lost on either side. Cya.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 13 | View Replies ]

To: patriot08
Why doesn’t “buick” rhyme with “quick”?

For the same reason boot doesn't rhyme with foot.

If you ever figure it out, let me know. 58 years old and still wondering about my native language. It does keep crossword puzzles interesting because you can never be sure which pronunciation/meaning of a word is being used.

26 posted on 01/09/2011 5:55:35 AM PST by trebb ("If a man will not work, he should not eat" From 2 Thes 3)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 13 | View Replies ]

To: patriot08
Hey friend?

It indeed is amazingly amusing isn´t it?

30 posted on 01/09/2011 6:05:55 AM PST by Mayr Fortuna
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 13 | View Replies ]

To: patriot08

I read your comment; I hope others read it also.


37 posted on 01/09/2011 7:31:48 AM PST by PoloSec ( Believe how that Christ died for our sins, was buried and rose again the 3rd day)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 13 | View Replies ]

To: patriot08

Ref post #13.

Thank you for sharing. I really enjoyed it.


38 posted on 01/09/2011 8:32:51 AM PST by GatĂșn(CraigIsaMangoTreeLawyer)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 13 | View Replies ]

Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article


FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson