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Better in than out: African country set to make breaking wind a crime
Daily Mail UK ^ | January 28, 2011 | Colin Fernandez

Posted on 01/28/2011 11:25:45 AM PST by rightwingintelligentsia

Breaking wind is set to be made a crime in an African country.

The government of Malawi plan to punish persistent offenders 'who foul the air' in a bid to 'mould responsible and disciplined citizens.'

But locals fear that pinning responsibility on the crime will be difficult - and may lead to miscarriages of justice as 'criminals' attempt to blame others for their offence.

One Malawian told the website Africanews.com: 'My goodness. What happens in a public place where a group is gathered. Do they lock up half a minibus? 'And how about at meetings where it is difficult to pinpoint 'culprits'?

(Excerpt) Read more at dailymail.co.uk ...


TOPICS: Miscellaneous
KEYWORDS: africa; emissions; fart; flatulence; hoofhearted; malawi; napl

1 posted on 01/28/2011 11:25:51 AM PST by rightwingintelligentsia
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To: rightwingintelligentsia

He who smelt it dealt it.


2 posted on 01/28/2011 11:28:38 AM PST by rightwingcrazy
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To: rightwingintelligentsia

Farting will be a crime? Can’t wait to see the reports of exploding Muslims.


3 posted on 01/28/2011 11:29:05 AM PST by MeganC (Soli Deo Gloria)
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To: rightwingintelligentsia

I’m soooo guilty.


4 posted on 01/28/2011 11:29:58 AM PST by manic4organic (We won. Get over it.)
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To: rightwingintelligentsia

Better to bear the shame, then bear the pain


5 posted on 01/28/2011 11:31:31 AM PST by JoanneSD
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To: rightwingintelligentsia

I guess in Africa, THAT is no longer a compliment!


6 posted on 01/28/2011 11:32:13 AM PST by miss marmelstein
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To: rightwingintelligentsia

I want to know how they can tell someone ‘broke wind’ to begin with.


7 posted on 01/28/2011 11:36:18 AM PST by TexasPatriot1 ("Tyranny is defined as that which legal for the government but illegal for the citizenry" Jefferson)
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To: rightwingintelligentsia

God help mother nature....


8 posted on 01/28/2011 11:44:07 AM PST by illiac (If we don't change directions soon, we'll get where we're going)
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To: rightwingintelligentsia
I looked up Malawi cuisine on the internet and found this. As I suspected, their diet is mostly plant-based. So, when PeTa finally takes over the USA, we can expect to see laws like this passed over here.

"All over Malawi, the meal is composed of two main dishes: the starch (Nsima) and the relish (Ndiwo). While the recipe for starch is mostly the same all over Malawi, the relish is very different from region to region. In the east of Malawi, it is made mostly from vegetables, as meat is expensive and most people can’t afford it. The basic ingredients in this region are rice and foutou (massed plantain and cassava) and fufu (fermented cassava). A variety of local ingredients are used while preparing other dishes like spinach stew, cooked with tomato, peepers, chillies, onions and Peanut butter. cassava (manioc) plants are also consumed as green salad. A traditional recipe for the basic vegetable Ndiwo includes Onion, tomatoes and green vegetables, especially cassava. "
9 posted on 01/28/2011 11:48:08 AM PST by Question Liberal Authority (Worst. Post-Racial. And Post-Partisan. Agent Of Hope And Change. EVER.)
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To: rightwingintelligentsia
I hope all those iPhone iF*rt apps are banned too, otherwise things could get real exciting


10 posted on 01/28/2011 11:58:54 AM PST by RightGeek (FUBO and the donkey you rode in on)
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To: rightwingintelligentsia
I would also suggest a network of citizen crime reporting buttons:


11 posted on 01/28/2011 12:00:33 PM PST by RightGeek (FUBO and the donkey you rode in on)
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To: rightwingcrazy

“He who smelt it dealt it.”

He who denied it supplied it.


12 posted on 01/28/2011 12:02:59 PM PST by ZirconEncrustedTweezers (Regulation without representation is tyranny.)
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To: rightwingintelligentsia

Discipline, etc... silly reasons to ban flatulence. Now stopping global warming... that is a REAL reason to stop it.


13 posted on 01/28/2011 12:08:43 PM PST by TN4Liberty (My tagline disappeared so this is my new one.)
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To: ZirconEncrustedTweezers

Whats the penalty? A butt plug?


14 posted on 01/28/2011 12:09:10 PM PST by oldasrocks (They should lock all of you up and only let out us properly medicated people.)
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To: rightwingintelligentsia

When farting is outlawed, only outlaws will fart.


15 posted on 01/28/2011 12:14:07 PM PST by ZirconEncrustedTweezers (Regulation without representation is tyranny.)
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To: TN4Liberty

Maybe we can set up a company that sells methane offsets.


16 posted on 01/28/2011 12:15:06 PM PST by ZirconEncrustedTweezers (Regulation without representation is tyranny.)
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To: rightwingintelligentsia

The dog did it.


17 posted on 01/28/2011 12:17:40 PM PST by MichiganCheese (I "gotta sit in the back with all the other typical bitter clinging enemies"!)
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To: al baby

You’d better cancel your trip.


18 posted on 01/28/2011 12:18:51 PM PST by Rebelbase
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To: ZirconEncrustedTweezers; rightwingcrazy

“He who smelt it dealt it.”
“He who denied it supplied it.”

He who deduced it, produced it.


19 posted on 01/28/2011 12:21:02 PM PST by Constitution Day
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To: rightwingintelligentsia; Rebelbase
Why isn't this "Breaking Wind" story in Breaking News?!


20 posted on 01/28/2011 12:23:10 PM PST by Constitution Day
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To: Constitution Day
“He who smelt it dealt it.” “He who denied it supplied it.” He who deduced it, produced it.

Depending on the penalties imposed, this could lend an entirely new meaning to "Silent, but deadly"
21 posted on 01/28/2011 12:33:02 PM PST by rickomatic
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To: rightwingintelligentsia

“Do you mind if I smoke”?

No, do you mind if I fart?

I quit once, for a year. But, I gained a lot of weight......


22 posted on 01/28/2011 2:47:08 PM PST by CalvaryJohn (What is keeping that damned asteroid?)
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To: Constitution Day

No, no, no! Horses fart, men pass gas and women merely smile enigmatically.


23 posted on 01/28/2011 2:48:50 PM PST by RichInOC (No! BAD Rich! (What'd I say?))
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To: rightwingintelligentsia

So they beat out California.......


24 posted on 01/28/2011 2:50:07 PM PST by Hot Tabasco (The only thing Super Glue is good for is gluing your fingers together.....)
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To: rightwingintelligentsia; MeekOneGOP; Conspiracy Guy; DocRock; King Prout; Darksheare; OSHA; ...
"First they came for the farters, and I did not speak up because I was holding my nose..."

[Thanks to ADemocratNoMore for the tails-heads-up!]


25 posted on 01/28/2011 6:26:04 PM PST by Slings and Arrows (You can't have Ingsoc without an Emmanuel Goldstein.)
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To: ZirconEncrustedTweezers
When farting is outlawed, only outlaws will fart.

Wanna bet?

Midgets will appreciate this law; especially if it is a felony to fart in an elevator.

26 posted on 01/28/2011 6:34:55 PM PST by Eaker (In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity. Albert Einstein)
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To: rightwingintelligentsia

Fart gun

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aD4k148YcDU&feature=related


27 posted on 01/28/2011 6:58:59 PM PST by wyokostur
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To: rightwingintelligentsia

As long as they don’t outlaw women farding in cars, it’ll be OK.


28 posted on 01/28/2011 7:18:51 PM PST by Springman (Rest In Peace YaYa123 and Bahbah.)
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To: Slings and Arrows

I heard about this today, and thought of you. ;o)

Thank you for the very expected ping. You didn’t let me down! lol


29 posted on 01/29/2011 12:01:48 AM PST by dixiechick2000 ("First they ignore you, then they ridicule you, then they fight you, then you win." - Gandhi)
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To: Slings and Arrows

Don’t do the crime if you can’t do the time...


30 posted on 01/29/2011 5:50:14 AM PST by paulycy (Liberals suck all the joy out of America. Let's make them stop.)
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To: paulycy

Doesn’t pass the smell test.


31 posted on 01/29/2011 6:00:41 AM PST by Slings and Arrows (You can't have Ingsoc without an Emmanuel Goldstein.)
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To: dixiechick2000
Much like hot gas, I rise to the occasion.
32 posted on 01/29/2011 6:03:10 AM PST by Slings and Arrows (You can't have Ingsoc without an Emmanuel Goldstein.)
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To: Slings and Arrows

“Whatcha in for?”


33 posted on 01/29/2011 6:04:20 AM PST by paulycy (Liberals suck all the joy out of America. Let's make them stop.)
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To: rightwingintelligentsia
I guess Mr Ditter better cancel that African hunting trip he has planned.

(An African jail has got to be horrible but just think about being locked in there with a bunch of gassy farters!)

34 posted on 01/29/2011 6:11:52 AM PST by Ditter
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To: rightwingintelligentsia
I guess Moo-chelle won't be vacationing in Africa anytime soon.

You just KNOW that big ol' fat ass is capable of some felony ASSault.

35 posted on 01/29/2011 6:20:42 AM PST by PalmettoMason (It's easy being a menace to society when WAY OVER half the population is happy being sheep.)
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