James,
You need to speak with your clergymman NOW. If you don’t have one, get one. Probably he will recommend that you seek psychiatric counseling, and you should go for anti-depressants to treat this acute situation. Then you should take them.
We all are here for a purpose, and we may never know what it is. Perhaps it is to make one statement to one person one time, that will change that person’s life. We never know. G-d doesn’t make mistakes, and if you are here you belong here. You need to accept that you may never know your role, and in the meantime your job is to push forward and not do anything that distances you from G-d.
Good luck.
Horrible advice. Those drugs are very bad. I would only even consider them for the very suicidal. It's not the healthy way to adjust your serotonin. The side effects are worse than the good effects. First use nutrition. The results are FASTER too.