Thanks for letting me vent. I'm out of duct tape and my head was about to explode.
The system was designed for emergencies like this. Hard working, loving families trying to make it and running on hard times. Hard working Americans paying into the system can seemingly only dream that the right people would get the help promised.
Friend, it's ok. Get the help you need. Recover, in time you can rebuild. This is what the help was meant for. Our prayers go out for you and your family.
Go with God and all the best to you.