Posted on 07/11/2011 7:04:15 AM PDT by SeekAndFind
I hope you were watching the Women’s World Cup just now. The U.S. team put on one of the most amazing, determined, come-from-behind performances you’ll ever see in sports, playing a man down and tying Brazil at literally the very last moment possible then winning on penalty kicks — all in the wake of an awful referee’s call in regulation time that nearly threw the game to Brazil by letting them re-try a missed penalty kick.
The call was so bad that the German crowd swung wildly in favor of the Americans, with chants of USA!USA! throughout the extra time. This was Rocky on the soccer field. Unforgettable.
Awesome match! Despite the challenging Brazil team and having only ten on the pitch, they didn’t give up. Great win!
My wife and daughter were livid at both the multiple bad calls and the Brazilian “actress”. At least the Italians just milk the near collisions, but that woman deserve an Oscar and a kick in the . . .
Okay, for those of us who neither understand nor appreciate soccer,
Each team consists of one left and one right Inside Grouch, one left and one right Outside Grouch, four Deep Brooders, four Shallow Brooders, five Wicket Men, three Offensive Niblings, four Quarter-Frummerts, two Half-Frummerts, one Full-Frummert, two Overblats, two Underblats, nine Back-Up Finks, two Leapers and a Dummy - for a total of 43.
The game officials are a Probate Judge, a Field Representative of the United Nations, a Head Cockswain, and a Baggage Smasher. None has any authority after play has begun.
Soccer is played on a pentagonal field, or Flutney, and the game is normally played within seven 15-minute Ogres, or eight if it’s raining. Their “ball” resembles a molecule of buckminsterfullerene, is made of ibex hide, and is stuffed with blue jay feathers in the amateur leagues, or is a “Schrödinger ball” stuffed with the square root of 1 divided by zero in major league play.
Traditional soccer hooligans are required to wear numerous facial piercings that can be easily torn out to celebrate victory or defeat or 4/7ths time. And contrary to popular belief, not just female hooligans have Vuvuzelas.
Goals are very rare, and if a ball makes it into a “goal”, it automatically opens and the Full-Frummert, called a “goalie” is either rained with blue jay feathers or sucked into its cosmic singularity. The players then run into the stands and can keep every Vuvuzela they can snatch.
Losing teams are then sacrificed by being sold to Russian plutocrats.
Like a true American Futbol fan, I watched the game (the replay, after I knew we would win) and was very impressed with the American team. It was an awesome game.
While watching the boring parts of the game (80% of it) I passed the time by trying to pick out the heterosexual women on the teams.
I’m not sure who is or isn’t a lesbian on that team, but I put my own unofficial estimate at.....75%. :)
On a serious note, it was nice to see our team beat the Brazilians and the officiating, kinda like how the Mavs had to beat the Heat and the officials for the NBA title.
She sorta got the latter when the Referee tacked on some time to compensate for her “performance” which turned out to be the time we scored in.
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