You asked for opinions, so here’s my two cents: I think the idea of anyone spending $20,000 on a wedding is obscene. We got married with just our immediate families (alright, one aunt came) and then my mother treated us to a nice lunch out at a restaurant. And has our marriage suffered because we didn’t spend a fortune on material goods that would have taken our focus away from the sacredness of the event? No.
Just like retailers have done so much harm to Christmas by making the focus on the presents, so the wedding “industry” harms marriage by telling everyone the most important things to worry about are dresses, and shoes and flowers and all the rest. Doesn’t matter what you’re wearing, whether or not you have fancy invitations, how many hundreds of people you invite. All you really need are a bride, a groom, a preacher, two witnesses and sincere request that God bless your union.
When I got married, I would have been happy having the wedding in my backyard with grilled hamburgers and hot dogs with the honeymoon being a camping trip up in New Hampshire (we could share the same sleeping bag).
I think my wife would have been fine with that too but her mother would have none of it. Had to be the whole 9 yards with the photographer, band, reception hall, limos, etc. I think the only concession to price was the rubber chicken dinner. But all the pomp and circumstance had to be there. I think all the hoopla was more about impressing friends and relatives than anything else.
I tried to participate in all the preparations as little as possible. I just wanted to be told where it was, what to where and what time to be there. Everybody else could worry their heads about the other details to their heart's content.
Bonus: My wife and I never had daughters - just sons. So I never have to worry about paying for anybody's wedding.
It’s not that they wanted to spend that much money, that’s what the contest was for. These kids don’t have much at all! Her dream was to be a teacher and he wabted for her to do that, so he is supporting them both so she can realize her dream. It’s not that they expect a 20,000 wedding, it’s how they came in 2nd that was the kick in the gut!