Or just a Marine and SEAL capturing and killing Donald Trump's hairpiece?
Posted on 09/02/2011 6:02:09 AM PDT by Lucky9teen
You use a form of the WFTD and in a current events story! Set to rhyme and I bet tioga gaave you an A+++.
Football player signings in last week’s supplemental college draft.
________________________________
Wayfron P. Jackson:
6’ 6”, 215 lbs. Wide Receiver.
Hottest prospect from Texas in the last ten years.
Loves rap music. Will demand a mini-cassette in his helmet.
Currently holds world record for the most “you knows” during
an interview (62 in one minute).
Wayfron can print his complete name.
Signed with Tennessee.
________________________________
Quinticious Jenkins:
6’ 3”, 220 lbs. Running Back.
Set state scoring record out of Triton High School, Dunn, N.C.
Also led the state in burglaries, but has only 9 convictions.
He has been clocked at 4.2 seconds in the 40 yard dash with
a 19” TV under each arm.
Signed with Mississippi State.
________________________________
Roosevelt “Dude” Dansell:
6’ 1”, 195 lbs. Running Back.
From Tyler, Texas. Has processed hair does a creditable imitation
of Billy Dee Williams.
Before he signed his letter of intent, he wanted the school to change
colors to chartreuse and pink.
Listed his church preference as “red brick”.
Signed with the Louisiana State University.
_____________________________
Woodrow Lee Washington:
6’ 8”, 310 lbs. Tackle.
At 19 he’s the oldest of 21 children. He has a manslaughter trial
pending, but feels he will be found innocent because “The dude
said somethin’ bad ‘bout my Momma.”
On his entrance form, he listed his I.Q. as 20-20.
Signed with the University of Arkansas
________________________________
Willie “Night Train” Smith:
6’4”, 225 lbs. Quarterback.
Thinks the “N” on Nebraska ‘s helmets stands for “Nowledge,”
but still meets this school’s stringent entrance requirements...
Insists on wearing Number 32 jersey since it matches his score
on his SAT’s.
Signed with the University of Alabama.
________________________________
Tyrone “Python” Peoples:
6’10”, 228 lbs. Wide Receiver.
Has a pending paternity suit and two rape trials, but hopes none
of his other 9 victims will file charges.
Tyrone had already signed letters of intent with six other colleges,
but was also willing to sign with us.
Thinks Taco Bell is the Mexican Telephone Company.
Signed with University of Georgia
________________________________
Abdul Hasheen Abba Ali:
6’10”,305 lbs. Guard.
Played high school ball under the name Sylvester Lee Jones until he discovered religion.
Abdul thinks Sherlock Holmes is a housing project in Jacksonville...
Doesn’t know the meaning of the word “fear” (nor the meaning of many other words, either).
Signed with the University of Florida.
____________________________________
Welcome all to higher education.
_____
The English language has some wonderfully anthropomorphic collective
nouns for the various groups of animals.
We are all familiar with a Herd of cows, a Flock of chickens, a School of fish and a Gaggle of geese.
However, less widely known is a Pride of lions, a Murder of crows (as well as their cousins the rooks and ravens), an Exaltation of doves and, presumably because they look so wise, a Parliament of owls.
Now consider a group of Baboons. They are the loudest, most dangerous, most obnoxious, most viciously aggressive and least intelligent of all primates.
And what is the proper collective noun for a group of baboons?
Believe it or not ....... a Congress!
I guess that pretty much explains the things that come out of Washington
I looked this up and it’s VERY true! Other terms used to describe a group of Baboons are: Troop, Tribe, and Flange.
http://twitter.com/#!/kimjongil
http://twitter.com/#!/thedearleader
http://twitter.com/#!/kim_jong_ll
http://twitter.com/#!/KCNA_OFFICIAL
And yes, the glorious workers paradise of North Korea has a real twitter account:
http://twitter.com/#!/uriminzok
I do miss Dear Leader.
I was at the bank making a deposit. I was being helped by a very attractive young lady. After handing me the receipt for my deposit, she asked me, “Is there anything else I can do for you?”
Apparently, “take off your blouse” is not an appropriate answer for that question. Anyone know a good attorney?
You could do it. You know you could. Carpe diem tiger!
I wonder if Jim would let me open a second FR account as Kim Jong Il and go around commenting on the news as such.
You could be famous like el bloombito !
I thought the AminModerator was already doing that.
J/K AM... don't zot me
ROR!
We should be referring to the Federal Government as the Feral Government.
The definitions of "feral" seem to apply now more than ever, with Mr. Soetoro as our Dear Leader.
ACTUAL DEFINITIONS OF "FERAL":
Existing in a wild or untamed state.
Having returned to an untamed state from domestication.
Of or suggestive of a wild animal; savage: a feral grin.
(Life Sciences & Allied Applications / Biology) Also ferine (of animals and plants) existing in a wild or uncultivated state, esp after being domestic or cultivated
Also ferine savage; brutal
Austral derogatory slang (of a person) tending to be interested in environmental issues and having a rugged, unkempt appearance
(Spirituality, New Age, Astrology & Self-help / Astrology) Astrology associated with death
gloomy; funereal
Existing in a wild or untamed state, either naturally or having returned to such a state from domestication. in a natural state; not tamed or domesticated or cultivated; "wild geese"; "edible wild plants"
Eight Words with two Meanings
1. THINGY (thing-ee) n.
Female...... Any part under a car’s hood.
Male..... The strap fastener on a woman’s bra.
2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
Female.... Fully opening up one’s self emotionally to another.
Male... Playing football without a cup.
3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.
Female... The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one’s partner.
Male.. Leaving a note before taking off on a fishing trip with the boys.
4. COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n.
Female.... A desire to get married and raise a family.
Male...... Trying not to hit on other women while out with this one.
5. ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.
Female... A good movie, concert, play or book.
Male...... Anything that can be done while drinking beer.
6. FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.
Female.... An embarrassing byproduct of indigestion.
Male..... A source of entertainment, self-expression, male bonding.
7 MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n.
Female....The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can achieve.
Male.. Call it whatever you want, just as long as we do it.
8. REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.
Female.... A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
Male... A device for scanning through all 375 channels every 5 minutes.
Dear Dr. Phil,
I was watching my next door neighbor’s daughter sunbathing topless from my bedroom window. As I was wanking away, I turned to notice my wife just standing there, arms folded.....watching me.
My question:
Is she a pervert?
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