O-:(-;P-:THE OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD:-P;-):-O

[Lucky9teen]

Obama's Job Package?

For all the SNL fans out there....

Obama's Team is hiring (translated):

Obama for America is looking for talented social media copywriters and strategists anyone who still worships Obama, to join our digital thuggery team at our Chicago headquarters.

We're going to run the most effective, creative, and innovative vile, corrupt, and dirty digital campaign in the history of politics, and our digital team will be core to achieving the communications, fundraising, and organizing propaganda goals of the cause.

Our social media team will help tell the story sell the BS of the campaign and move people brainwash sheeple to take action go trolling over Facebook, Twitter, and other social networks.

We’re looking for writers who can tell stories anyone who can type in 140 characters or less, put complex policy hate into Facebook-friendly terms, and help plan and create original racist and rhetorical content that people sheeple will be compelled to share with their friends.

A great candidate will be able to formulate a social media plan for specific goals and audiences coherent sentence about their love of Obama, write content propaganda for it with a clear, consistent voice, and analyze outcomes make it sound believable to make the next campaign even better. You should have a head for politics, a sense of humor, and buckets of common sense full of mush, so we can mold it in whatever way we see fit.

We’ll be hiring people at all levels, from social media experts (anyone who plays on a computer all day in their moms basement) to junior staffers (anyone who just wants to be Obama's lapdog). So whether you're a seasoned digital veteran or are new to the field but hoping to apply your skills to a worthy cause, we hope to hear from you.

If you're right for this team, the following should all be familiar to you:

+ Copywriting Stealing for social media
+ Online campaigning Propaganda
+ Project management (Hacking)
+ Twitter, Facebook, and emerging social networks (Trolling)
+ Social media management and analytics tools (Liberal Blogging)

Salary will be commensurate with experience and qualifications; we also offer a benefits plan (at taxpayers expense, of course).

To apply, please email your resume and a note explaining why you’d be a good fit for our team to digitaljobs@barackobama.com.

Space is limited, but here is where you'll be working:

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A business was looking for office help. They put a sign in the window, stating the following:

HELP WANTED

Must be able to type, have computer skills, and be
bilingual. We are an Equal Opportunity Employer.

A dog trotted up to the window, saw the sign and went inside. He looked at the receptionist and wagged his tail, then walked over to the sign, looked at it and whined a bit.
Getting the idea, the receptionist got the office manager. The office manager looked at the dog and was surprised, to say the least. However, the dog looked determined, so he led him into the office. Inside, the dog jumped up on a chair and stared at the manager. The manager said "I can't hire you. The sign says you have to be able to type."

The dog jumped down, went to the typewriter and proceeded to type out a perfect letter. He took out the page and trotted over to the manager and gave it to him, then jumped back up on the chair. The manager was stunned, but then told the dog, "The sign also says you have to be good with a computer."

The dog jumped down again and went to the computer. The dog proceeded to enter and execute a perfect spreadsheet that worked flawlessly the first time.

By this time, the manager was totally dumb-founded! He looked at the dog and said, "I realize that you are a very intelligent dog and have some interesting abilities. However, I still can't give you the job."

The dog jumped down and went over to a copy of the sign and put his paw on the sentence about being an Equal Opportunity Employer.

The manager said "Yes, but the sign also says that you have to be bilingual." The dog looked at that manager calmly and said, "Meow."

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A man applied for a job as an industrial spy. Together with several other applicants, he was given a sealed envelope and told to take it to the fourth floor. As soon as the man was alone, he stepped into an empty hallway and opened the envelope. Inside, a message read: "You're our kind of person. Report to the fifth floor Personnel Office."

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Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources person asked a young applicant fresh out of Business School, "And what starting salary are you looking for?"

The applicant said, "In the neighborhood of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package."

The interviewer said, "Well, what would you say to a package of 5-weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every two years - say, a red Corvette?"

The applicant sat up straight and said, "Wow! Are you kidding?"

And the interviewer replied, "Yeah, but you started it."

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Barack Obama met with the Queen of England. He asked her, "Your Majesty, how do you run such an efficient government? Are there... any tips you can give to me?"

‎"Well," said the Queen, "the most important thing is to surround yourself with intelligent people."

Obama frowned, and then asked, "But how do I know the people around me are really intelligent?"

The Queen took a sip of tea. "Oh, that's easy; you just ask them to answer an intelligent riddle." The Queen pushed a button on her intercom. "Please ... Seymore send Tony Blair in here, would you?"

Tony Blair walked into the room and said, "Yes, Your Majesty?" .

The Queen smiled and said, "Answer me this please, Tony, your mother and father have a child. It is not your brother and it is not your sister. Who is it?"

Without pausing for a moment, Tony Blair answered, "That would be me."

"Yes! Very good," said the Queen.

Obama went back home to ask Joe Biden, his vice presidential choice the same question. "Joe, answer this for me. Your mother and your father have a child. It's not your brother and it's not your sister. Who is it?"

"I'm not sure," said Biden. "Let me get back to you on that one..." He went to his advisors and asked every one, but none could give him an answer.
Finally, he ran into Sarah Palin out eating one night. Biden asked, “Sarah, can you answer this for me? Your mother and father have a child and it's not your brother or your sister. Who is it?"

Sarah Palin answered back, "That's easy, it's me!"

Biden smiled, and said, "Thanks!" Then, he went back to speak with Obama. "Say, I did some research and I have the answer to that riddle. It's Sarah Palin!"

Obama got up, stomped over to Biden, and angrily yelled into his face, "No! You idiot! It's Tony Blair!"

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Q1: If you knew a woman who was pregnant, who had 8 kids already, three who were deaf, two who were blind, one mentally retarded, and she had syphilis; would you recommend that she have an abortion?


Read the next question before scrolling down to the answer of this one.

Q2: It is time to elect the world leader, and your vote counts. Here are the facts about the three leading candidates:


Candidate A
Associates with crooked politicians, and consults with astrologists. He's had two mistresses. He also chain smokes and drinks quite a few martinis a day.


Candidate B
He was kicked out of office twice, sleeps until noon, used opium in college and drinks a great deal of whisky every evening.
 

Candidate C
He is a decorated war hero. He's a vegetarian, doesn't smoke, drinks an occasional beer and hasn't had any extramarital affairs.


Which of these candidates would be your choice? Decide first.
No peeking!!!
Then, scroll down for the answer.



















Candidate A is Franklin D. Roosevelt
Candidate B is Winston Churchill
Candidate C is Adolph Hitler
 

and by the way, the answer to the abortion question—if you said yes, you just killed Beethoven.

[Lucky9teen]

[ShadowAce]

Woohoo!! It’s Friday!!!

[cartan]

First!!! :-D

[cartan]

Grrrrrr!

[21stCenturion]

IBTP !!!

[CPOSharky]

IBTP?

[Lucky9teen]

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Give it a shot...

TIME FOR

CLICK HERE TO BE INCLUDED OR TAKEN OFF THE LIST

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[Currentriverrat]

TOP 10 TGIF!!!!

[ShadowAce]

:)

[CPOSharky]

Mujibar was trying to get a job in India.

The Personnel Manager said, ‘Mujibar, you have passed all the tests, except one.
Unless you pass it , you cannot qualify for this job.’

Mujibar said, ‘I am ready.’

The manager said, ‘Make a sentence using the words Yellow, Pink, and Green .’

Mujibar thought for a few minutes and said, ‘Mister manager, I am ready.’

The manager said, ‘Go ahead.’

Mujibar said, ‘The telephone goes green, green, and I pink it up, and say, Yellow, this is Mujibar.’

Mujibar now works at a call center.

No doubt you have spoken to him. I know I have.

[Dacula]

Top 12

[SERKIT]

[Sax]

[RandallFlagg]

Is that gif animation from this?
http://youtu.be/9fqAhsNzanA

[Pan_Yan]

[cartan]

[Monkey Face]

IN!

[ShadowAce]

[JoeProBono]

[holly go-rightly]

yay for Friday, and yay for Lucky9teen!