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In honor of Sesame Street celebrating 40 years... Sesame Street explains a Ponzi Scheme Ten Top Ways to Tell if Your Kid is Watching Too Much Sesame Street 10) Always pointing out that "one of these things is not like the others". 9) Knows everybody in the neighborhood, and what they do, and can sing a little song about it. 8) Whenever running or jumping, is trailed by six afterimages. 7) Checks under garbage cans for furry legs. 6) Eats an entire box of cookies (including the box) in less than a minute. 5) Insists that pigeons have fascinating personalities....

LAKELAND - Motorists along one of Lakeland's major thoroughfares are being greeted with a billboard asking a provocative question: "Don't believe in God?" Then there's the answer: "You are not alone." The billboard went up Sunday on eastbound Memorial Boulevard near Martin Luther King Jr. Avenue, making Lakeland the second Florida city to have a billboard sponsored by an atheist organization.

MICHELLE OBAMA: To pull off this look, dress in a curtain or drapery, hitched up around the waist by a big (boob) belt,  with pearls and low heels.  First Lady Michelle Obama is known for her terrible taste in clothing and style.

Well, I for one, am just getting over the dreaded flu...and I couldn't tell ya if it was the seasonal or H1N1 (Swine) flu....it felt the same to me. My fever lasted for 2 and a half days and got as high as 103.8°. But I'm still alive.....and well, seeing all the chatter lately on Facebook, it seems I'm not the only one recovering from this.......flu, nor am I the only one questioning which one is it.... So....without further ado, todays SILLY THREAD.................. Top 10 reasons not to worry about the swine flu 10. News: U.S. CDC says new flu...

Mucho Dinero Attach pictures of Robert De Niro all over yourself. Self-Absorbed Attach sponges all over your body. BuccaneerAttach a dollar to each ear (buck-an-ear). Behind the TimesAttach several fake (or real) clocks to your behind. Freudian Slip Wear a slip, preferably black, with a sign around your neck that says "Freud." Devils Advocate Wear buttons and carry signs that say "Devil is #1" and "Vote for Satan," etc. Quarterback Wear normal clothes, and tape a quarter to your back. First Class Mail Buy some stamps and paste them on your face or glue some onto an old shirt. Quarterback...

What do these things have in common?

There........I fixed it for ya.... Sure beats that little donut that comes with the car... Ain't getting in there...nope No wonder electricians get paid so much... I'd like to hear their excuse after the cops pull them over... Hey, if it works... Who does this and thinks it's safe? Again, who does this and thinks it's safe? Ooh, Pretty no comment Care for a ride? So....there's more than one use for those containers, eh? What a great way to recycle baby bottles. Smoke em if ya got em... Nice porch. While grounded in concern, I feel your criticism is insulated...

Our President, Mr. Obama, Governs with cool, never drama. His sweet words can thrill, But his policies kill. Fine language won’t hide bloody trauma. NATIONAL COMIC BOOK DAY There once was a guy named Barack Who loved to hear himself talk He bought all the banks Then wanted our thanks Though he put all our children in hock A mandate the Dems thought he’d get More liberal than center, you bet But we never knew How badly He’d do While piling up trillions in debt Our president knows how to parse Golden words into nebulous farce But he makes the...

National DayA cheeseburger walks into a bar, and says 'Hey bartender give me a beer'.The bartender says - 'I'm sorry we don't serve food here'. Are hamburgers male? Yes, because they re boygers, not girlgers! Can a hamburger marry a hot dog? Only if they have a very frank relationship! Can you name two burgers who are royalty? Sir Loin and Burger King! How do gossipy hamburgers spend their time? They chew the fat. How do we know hamburgers have high IQ s? They loin fast! How do you insult a hamburger patty? Call it a meatball! How do...

As a snob, I have little use for the typical NASCAR-watching, foam-hat-wearing, tract-house-dwelling American lump. I find such people to be boorish, clownish, and largely incapable of rational thought. And the upper crust of the Republican Party feels the same way that I do. They detest the average American. However, at least I’m not going around pretending to be a friend of the common man. I’m open about my better-than-thou attitude, which is one of the many reasons you will never see me running for any political office. The same can’t be said for the typical GOP “representative”. He or...

Here are some great bumper sticker slogans, which can also be used for Tea Party signs!! Apathy A Conflict of Disinterest All Politics is Loco All Weapons Are Boomerangs Ban Censors Don’t Let ___ Stop___ Bread Not Bombs Flour Power - It’s the Yeast We Can Do Bread Not Bombs We Knead the Dough Exercise the First Amendment - Use It or Lose It Guns Don’t Kill People - People Who Teach Violence Do Got Justice - got milk parody Got MLK - Martin Luther King Jr - got milk parody Give Peas a Chance W e.......... A re.........R ight......N...

Well, since we're heading into a 3 day weekend (for most), I thought I'd give you options for fun.... Sept 3rd is Skyscraper Day Sept 4th is Newspaper Carrier Day"I want my $2 dollars!! Sept 5 is Be Late for Something Day Or Cheese Pizza Day Sept 6th is Fight Procrastination Day Or Read a Book Day And of course, Sept 7th is Labor Day ENJOY!!!!

In honor of the late Ted Kennedy, I dedicate today's silliness to him. While many applaud his life, a look at Ted Kennedy quotes from his past show his progressive stance, humor, and pretty much no fear of repercussions. **If it were a matter of mere political disagreement, we would join the calls to strike a conciliatory tone and mourn the death of Sen. Edward Kennedy. But we do a disservice to him and the country to call him anything but what he was. Ted Kennedy was not a good man and we mourn the damage (or worse) he did...

Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Captain Braveheart and his magnificent crew have brought the aircraft to a screeching halt against the gate. And, once the tire smoke has cleared and the warning bells are silenced, we will open the door and you can pick your way through the wreckage to the terminal. Allegedly the German air controllers at Frankfurt Airport are renowned as a short-tempered lot. They, it is alleged, not only expect one to know one's gate parking location, but how to get there without any assistance from them. So it was with some amusement...

These are most bizzare ice cream flavors, around the world. Take a look… Foie Gras and Caviar Ice Cream Japan is still the king of weird ice cream flavors, but France isn’t far behind after gourmet ice cream maker Philippe Faur released the … foie gras and caviar ice cream! Candied Bacon Ice CreamBecause everyone likes bacon and there’s no reason to restrict its intake to breakfast, ice cream expert David Lebovitz experimented by making candied bacon ice cream. Considering that the resulting smoky/salty/cinnamon-tinged dessert got a thumbs up from his butcher, it seems that his recipe was a...

OBAMAISMSLet's look at some of the obsurd and inane things, this twit has said.... "it was also interesting to see that political interaction in Europe is not that different from the United States Senate. There's a lot of -- I don't know what the term is in Austrian, wheeling and dealing." --confusing German for "Austrian," a language which does not exist, Strasbourg, France, April 6, 2009 "No, no. I have been practicing...I bowled a 129. It's like -- it was like Special Olympics, or something." --making an off-hand joke during an appearance on "The Tonight Show", March 19, 2009 (Obama...

I got an email with some of the MOST outrageous footwear I have EVER seen. Even in my younger days there is no way I could ever...or would ever, wear the likes of these fashion statements. Some of them are funny. Some of them are silly. Some of them are horrendous.....and some of them look downright PAINFUL. No Thank You. I'd rather go barefoot! Check it out.....I'd like to see her standing up and walking in those. I know it would be entertaining. Great bridal shoe! Hope the groom is eight foot tall Now I know I've got to get...

<p>What's the difference between God and a Supreme court judge?</p> <p>God does not think he is a Supreme court judge.</p> <p>How many Supreme Court judges does it take to change a light bulb?</p> <p>An attorney passed on and found himself in Heaven (obviously not a family law lawyer), but was not at all happy with his accommodations. He complained to Saint Peter, who told him his only course of action was to appeal. The lawyer immediately appealed and was told it would take 3 years to hear his appeal. The attorney protested that this was unconscionable, but to no avail.</p>

The 2009 summer blockbuster movie season is upon us. As a brief respite from our usual political humor, I offer you this preview of some of this summer’s most eagerly anticipated movies. Dumb And Dumber Obama and Biden are two lovable and friendly, but very stupid friends, who struggle with every aspect of life. Obama is the President of the United States. Biden is his more experienced, but equally stupid sidekick and Vice President. Watch the two bumble their way through the misadventures of running the United States government in this hilarious comedy, destined to be a classic (Hilarity may...

Caption This... July 4 Tea Party Preparation————————————————–Following on the heels of the highly successful Tea (Taxed Enough Already) Parties, conservatives are again gearing up for a larger national set of Tea Party demonstrations set for July 4.   CBS and CNN are of course preparing to ignore it. After working so hard to extort more income from working Americans, Democrats will be on vacation that holiday weekend resting up for the next round of spending.   The effort to spend trillions of dollars to ruin American health care will be front and center over the next two weeks which should give CNN...

While walking down the street one day a politician is tragically hit  by a truck and dies. His soul arrives in heaven and is met  by St. Peter at the entrance. "Welcome to Heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a  high official around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do  with you."  "No problem, just let me in," says the politician. "Well, I'd like to but I have orders from higher up. What we'll do is  have you spend one day in Hell and...

Well....Fathers Day is this weekend, so I thought I'd give you some gift ideas.... Coughing and Screaming Ashtray If nothing else works, pick up one of our specially designed ashtrays that looks like a real pair of lungs. Place a cigarette on it and it starts coughing and screaming! Uses 2 "AA" batteries, not included. Condiment Gun Condiment Gun "Shoots" Ketchup And Mustard! Blast away at burgers, wage war on weenies, lay siege to steaks, and assault those sausages with a flavorful squirt from the Condiment Gun! Load the cartridges with mustard, ketchup, steak sauce, or other non-chunky condiment, then...

Dancing with the Czars: Obama's New State-Run Show The cast of Obama Czars hit the dance floor on the new show with the highly anticipated season premiere of Dancing with the Czars . You will be introduced to twelve Czars, who hold varying positions of power within the administration. The great thing about them is that Czars operate with impunity and are "under the radar" when it comes to making policy. They are accountable to no one except the President and, oh man, can they dance.  The rules are unknown and the Czars don't have to undergo Senate Confirmation Hearings,...

In light of Obama's "America Is A Muslim Country & Apology" Tour... It goes without saying that Muslims are perhaps the least humorous folk on Earth; whereas Jews have learned to laugh at themselves, even turning that laughter into a business: Vaudeville. When I was growing up, my father never failed to tell me at least three jokes a day, most of them involving Jews and their eccentricities, customs, and travails. I'd like to continue that long tradition of Jews telling jokes, but with Muslims as the butt of the joke. You can't be civilized until you can laugh at...

Well, this week has brought us some interesting events:We got Joe Biden and another gaffe, wherein his teleprompter blows over and then he said: "What am I gonna tell the president when I tell him his Teleprompter is broken?  What will he do then?": And then North Korea fires more missiles and threatens the US and S. Korea: And Obama puts forth another socialist for his Cabinet of Corruption and he's so empathetic about it: And then Harry Reid and Obama went to Nevada and looked at Solar Panels But enough of that crap.....how 'bout some bacon?

USS RONALD REAGANSeeing it next to the Arizona Memorial really puts its size into perspective... ENORMOUS! When the Bridge pipes 'Man the Rail' there is a lot of rail to man on this monster: shoulder to shoulder, around 4.5 acres. Her displacement is about 100,000 tons with full complement. Capability Top speed exceeds 30 knots, powered by two nuclear reactors that can operate for more than 20 years without refueling 1. Expected to operate in the fleet for about 50 years 2. Carries over 80 combat aircraft 3. Three arresting cables can stop a 28-ton aircraft going 150 miles per...

Q. What's the difference between Obama giving a speech and a cardboard cutout of Obama giving a speech?  A. The cardboard cutout looks at the camera instead of the teleprompter. Q. What do Miley Cyrus and Barack Obama have in common? A. They both attract young people with mindless verses. In the beginning, God created heaven and earth. Shortly thereafter God was in receipt of a notice to show cause why he shouldn't be cited for failure to file an environmental impact statement. He was granted a temporary planning permit for the project, but was stymied by a Cease...

In Honor of Mother's Day, this weekend.... I'd like to be the ideal mother, but I'm too busy raising my kids. - Unknown The hand that rocks the cradle usually is attached to someone who isn't getting enough sleep. - John Fiebig The mother of three notoriously unruly youngsters was asked whether or not she'd have children if she had it to do over again. Yes, she replied. But not the same ones. - David Finkelstein A little boy forgot his lines in a Sunday school presentation. His mother was in the front row to prompt him. She gestured and...

Good News: You baptized seven people today in the river. Bad News: You lost two of them in the swift current. Good News: The Women's Guild voted to send you a get-well card. Bad News: The vote passed by 19-17. Good News: The Elder Board accepted your job description the way you wrote it. Bad News: They were so inspired by it, they also formed a search committee to find somebody capable of filling the position. Good News: You finally found a choir director who approaches things exactly the same way you do. Bad News: The choir mutinied. Good News:...

OK, folks. We haven't been doing a very good job at keeping the "humor" tag worth keeping. Months come and go, and the same fake news stories appear in my Religion::Humor category. I'M getting tired of seeing my OWN post about Georgetown giving an honorary degree to Satan. So here's at it: An atheist was walking through the woods. "What majestic trees!" "What powerful rivers!" "What beautiful animals!" He said to himself. As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charge towards...

News organizations have done an admirable job of recapping the first 100 days of the Obama administration. But rarely do we stumble across a primary source like Barack Obama's own Facebook feed. Scroll down for the full story. Barack Obama joined the Washington, D.C. network. Barack Obama is taking the oath of office. Barack Obama is taking the oath of office. Barack Obama deleted the group I'm a Lobbyist AND I Work at the White House! Barack Obama deleted the group Guantanamo Bay Detainees 4EVA.   Khalid Sheikh Mohammed likes this. Reggie Love wrote on Beyonce Knowles' Wall.   Not...

Have you ever wondered how all of these Democrats can drive around in their big cars, live in their huge homes and fly all around the world in private jets with no guilt? Up until now it’s been a closely guarded secret. Hi, Billy Mays here again -this time for the one product that will allow you too, to live the energy wasting lifestyle you’ve always dreamed about, but were too eco-conscious to pursue. Green is good and what could be more green than planting a tree, saving an endangered species’ habitat or building a windmill? Nothing! Nothing could be...

I am offended, just like an old-fashioned feminist. So, I’m sure, is Mother Gaia herself. Offended, because Obama’s Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) has just officially declared carbon dioxide (CO2) to be a poison. (Sigh.) You can’t even expel air anymore without ticking off our PC commissars. Did you know you can die from drinking too much distilled water? Or from breathing too much pure oxygen? Oxidation products actually kill people — they cause a huge variety of fatal diseases. The only solution is to stop breathing. All the molecules of life are also molecules of death. The old medicos used...

The inauguration of Barack Obama as President of the United States is indeed a historic event but, can you believe some of the stuff out there? There is no shortage of Barack Obama Presidential inauguration products on the market. Some are standard souvenirs while others are just plain wacky. And what could be sillier, than this crap? Sure, some of it is typical souvenir items... .................. Limited Edition Barack Obama work gloves: For fixing America!.................Barack Obama Keychain..... But come on....this crap is over the top ridiculous! And how many times in history has a presidential campaign inspired a kitchen appliance?Even...

Who voted in the worst President EVER in the history of mankind? Barack in '08. Broke in '09. President Obama already has signed a book deal. It’s going to be about how he’s made TOUGH decisions in his first 100 days. The chapter on how he made those "tough" decisions will be called ROCK, PAPER, SCISSORS. At a biker tattoo contest, the winning biker had tattoos of Joe Biden, Barack Obama and Colin Powell on his butt. Biden was on the left cheek, Powell was on the right cheek and Obama was in the middle. "Blessed are the young, for...

I really didn't plan this week, since I've been out nursing my family (who all came down with the flu)...so Here's to a Free For All Silliness...

The following symbol can be used nationwide by drivers... whenever they see someone with an Obama bumper sticker. As you pass the other vehicle, make the following motion to the driver to express your support. The circle stands for Obama, our president. The back and forth motion reflects the inevitable progress -- like the tide itself -- of his Marxist agenda. Messiah In TrainingSeveral Democrat political consultants say that Barack Obama spent part of his vacation in Hawaii working on weaning himself off his heavy dependence on teleprompters. Apparently, even at events that are considered "town hall" events, Obama's remarks...

“I sincerely believe that banking establishments are more dangerous than standing armies, and that the principles of spending money to be paid by posterity, under the name of funding, is but swindling futurity on a large scale”~ Thomas Jefferson (American 3rd US President (1801-09). Author of the Declaration of Independence. 1762-1826) “There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage.” “It is well enough that people of the nation do not understand our banking and monetary system, for if they did, I believe there would be a revolution before tomorrow morning.” ~ Henry...

Americans... still believe in an America, where anything's possible - they just don't think their leaders do. Focusing your life solely on making a buck shows a certain poverty of ambition. It asks too little of yourself. Because it's only when you hitch your wagon to something larger than yourself that you realize your true potential. I think when you spread the wealth around it's good for everybody. CONTINUING TO FAIL OVER...AND OVER...AND OVER AGAIN! We reward people a lot for being rich, for being famous, for being cute, for being thin… one of the values I think we...

  Democracy is the art and science of running the circus from the monkey cage. ~H.L. Mencken I don’t make jokes… I just watch the government and report the facts.~Will Rogers If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it’s free!~P.J. O’RourkeIn general, the art of government consists of taking as much money as possible from one party of the citizens to give to the other.~Voltaire (1764) Just because you do not take an interest in politics doesn’t mean politics won’t take an interest in you!~Pericles (430 B.C.) No man’s life, liberty, or property...

Today is "No Brainer Day" - now this day is for me! By definition, a "No brainer" is doing something that is simple, easy, obvious, and/or totally logical, ya know, the TOTAL OPPOSITE of what our government is doing? Therefore, today is the day for you to do all those "no brainer" tasks and activities. If a project requires thinking, study, or analysis of any kind, then its not the chore to do today. Some people think that Christmas should be every day of the year. They even sing that theme in popular holiday songs. But, I think that No...

Cue music ~ (Pink Floyd - Money) California is in the hole for $42 billion, so a budget has been proposed. I’m no financial expert, but when you have no money, and no prospects of making money, and you owe $42 billion, you’re way beyond putting yourself on a budget. I think you’re looking at faking your own death. People say the problem with the budget is that they don’t understand what’s in it. Well of course they don’t. Look who’s explaining it to them — Arnold Schwarzenegger! President Obama signed the stimulus bill in Denver, Colo. He picked Denver...

A Spanish teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine. "House" for instance, is feminine: "la casa." "Pencil," however, is masculine: "el lapiz." A student asked, "What gender is 'computer'?"  Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether "computer" should be a masculine or a feminine noun.  Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation.  The men's group decided that "computer" should definitely be of the feminine gender ("la computadora"), because:  1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic;  2. The native language they...

No matter how much you cheat the government in taxes, you'll never get close to being even. Trust me. (Tim Geithner, Treasury Secretary's proverb) Good intentions make the most noise. (Proverb of Obama's Economic Recovery Team) All good things are either illegal, immoral, or lead to obesity. (Kennedy family proverb) Surely you can fool all the people all the time. (Proverb of the mainstream media) To err is human, and we use this faculty frequently and with much pleasure. (Proverb of the US Congress) All work and no pay makes Jack an exemplary citizen. (Proverb of Obama's Economic Recovery Team)...

vs. And, since I'm in AZ, I'm rooting for the Cardinals. Super Bowl 43 is set, and it's the Cardinals and Steelers doing the honors. This one shapes up to be a classic offense vs. defense showdown, but who has the edge? The Cardinals appear to have more offensive firepower, but the Steelers boast one of the best defenses of the decade. The Steelers have a little more experience, having won a Super Bowl just three years ago, but Ben Roethlisberger isn't the only quarterback with a ring starting this game. Whichever team you like, there's one thing all fans...

The American Pie Council created this day (National Pie Day) simply to celebrate the pie. How fitting...considering how much pie Americans are askin' for now.... So I say, let the silliness and jokes begin...We've got 4 tough years ahead...and I think we need to start off with some humor so we don't go mad too soon. And by the way, if they can dish it out like they did about Bush, then nothing is off limits about Obama. Q. Why will Obama hold a séance once he's in the White House? A. So that he can thank everybody who...

In honor of National Nothing Day, a salute to.... And gearing up for his...(ah-hem)....inauguration... He'll need plenty of these there...(and not just for those attending)... and one for the digital age...

Today, January 9, is National Static Electricity Day according to the Crazy Holidays Calendar. So, rub your feet along the carpet, take a sweater off really fast and reach out and shock someone.

Ok...ok...it's late, I know. I'm on vacation, what do you want? But since it's the first Friday of 2009, I'm sure we all need silliness, so better late than never... Every year, Google compiles a huge list of its top searches; this list is known as the Google Zeitgeist. Literally billions of searches have been sifted through to find trends, events, and newsworthy items that capture the happenings of 2008 in one concise package. Let's take a look at some of the more interesting data from Google's top searches of 2008. The Top Searches Around the World The top Google...