Humor (General/Chat)

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  • "Your Daddy Was Drunk And Your Mama Was Lonely" [My Country song, now with audible vocals]

    09/20/2014 1:49:11 PM PDT · by Slings and Arrows · 57 replies
    Me, via YouTube ^ | 9/20/14 | Me, as "Hopalong Ginsberg"
    Howdy All, When I first posted my song "Your Daddy Was Drunk And Your Mama Was Lonely" on FR, a number of whiny so-and-so's thoughtful critics commented the the lead vocals were too soft.They were right.Accordingly, I did a remix with the vocals MUCH more up-front. If you couldn't make them out before, I'd appreciate it if you'd give the song another chance. If you could understand them just fine, well, give the new version a listen and enjoy your feeling of superiority.If you want your own copy of the song, click here or here. Clicking here will not get...
  • eating popcorn reading all these headlines

    09/19/2014 7:49:06 PM PDT · by jyro · 78 replies
    you really wonder just how screwed up this world can get.
  • "I'm NOT @ War, So Don't Forget it, It's Just a Silly Phase I'm Going Through!", a Fantasy Musical

    09/19/2014 1:59:59 PM PDT · by lee martell · 14 replies
    Sept. 19 2014 | lee martell
    Eventually, our long national nightmare that has been the Barack Obama Double-Feature, will thankfully come to a close. Somebody may write a muscial parody of this administration. I can think of at least one song that would fit, how about you? #. Using the 10cc song "I'm Not In Love" Obama speaks on the phone to an ISIS warlord; I'm not at War!, so don't forget it, it's just a silly phase I'm going through. And just because, I bomb you up, Don't get me wrong, You needn't feel afraid. I'm not at War, No no. Just Because... ***My apologies...
  • Avast! It be International Talk Like A Pirate Day!

    09/19/2014 6:52:51 AM PDT · by hoagy62 · 86 replies
    Ahoy, mateys! be that day once more. The day when ye can hoist the Jolly Roger and set sail for adventure (or mystify your co-workers & friends by how you are speaking). September 19th is Talk Like A Pirate Day. Given the seriousness of all the crap going on around us, it's nice...even for a little be silly and have a little fun.

    In honor of Constitution week... Stupid Things Democrats Say "It's time to take back America!" ~ Joe Biden (D) Delaware, 9/1/14 Just two points... a) you've had the White House for 6 years now, take it back from "what"? b) Eric Holder says that phrase is racist.***********************************************************President Obama and First Lady Michelle released a statement thanking Muslim Americans for their many “achievements and contributions… to building the very fabric of our nation and strengthening the core of our democracy.” Well that sounds great... except for two very minor issues: 1) None of the founders were Muslim 2) We live...
  • Today's Toons 9/19/14

    09/19/2014 1:17:44 AM PDT · by pookie18 · 16 replies
    The Briefing Room ^ | 9/19/14 | pookie18
    Click on link.
  • The College Football Czar: Week 4

    09/18/2014 6:28:51 PM PDT · by Daniel Clark · 5 replies
    The Shinbone: The Frontier of the Free Press ^ | September 18, 2014 | Daniel Clark
    The College Football Czar: Week 4 Week three in review: Sixth-ranked Georgia was upset by South Carolina 38-35, but don’t count the Dogs out of national championship contention just yet. Aside from an early October trip to Missouri, there’s not that much standing in their way between now and their grudge match against Auburn on Nov. 15th. Heisman-winning Florida State quarterback Jameis Winston has already been nominated for the Lardhead of the Year Award, but if there were also a Banana-Brain of the Year and a Nougat-Noggin of the Year, he could easily challenge for the Triple Crown. Coach Jimbo...
  • Is My Grandson Unusual? (Vanity)

    09/18/2014 1:26:51 PM PDT · by Vigilanteman · 67 replies
    Observation | 18 September 2014 | Me
    I'm curious how usual this is. Our oldest grandson just turned three. He's been going potty by himself for just a little more than one year, but has the most unusual method.He shuns the training potty and the little seat which keeps him from falling through the big hole. If an adult tries to help (grandparents, parents, anyone), he pushes them out the door so we have to peek in a crack to make sure he's doing it right. He climbs up on the seat, squats with one foot on each side and dangles his junk down so he hits...
  • Miley Cyrus under criminal investigation for twerk stunt with Mexican flag

    09/18/2014 10:50:56 AM PDT · by Responsibility2nd · 62 replies
    San Antonio Express News ^ | 09/17/2014 | By Kolten Parker
    Pop star Miley Cyrus is under a criminal investigation for desecrating the Mexican flag on stage in Monterrey on September 16, 2014, which is Mexican Independence Day. While most people in Mexico were celebrating Diez y Seis de Septiembre, Miley Cyrus was twerking on stage in Monterrey with dancers whipping and rubbing Mexican flags on her butt. To some of the pop stars' fans, it was just "Miley being Miley," but to Mexican officials in Nuevo Leon, it could be a violation of the country's constitution, which protects "national emblems, the flag and the national anthem." Cyrus, known for her...
  • Drag queens dress down Facebook over names

    09/18/2014 10:09:17 AM PDT · by Red Badger · 32 replies ^ | BARBARA ORTUTAY and PAUL ELIAS
    San Francisco drag queens are sparring with Facebook over its policy requiring people to use their real names, rather than drag names such as Pollo Del Mar and Heklina. But the world's biggest social network is not budging from its rules. In recent weeks, Facebook has been deleting the profiles of self-described drag queens and other performers who use stage names because they did not comply with the social networking site's requirement that users go by their "real names" on the site. On Wednesday, Facebook declined to change its policy after meeting with drag queens and a member of the...
  • Lost in the Fifties (Whoa! How old are you if these images ring a bell?)

    09/18/2014 9:58:36 AM PDT · by Chgogal · 112 replies ^ | Don't know | Don't know
    It's a video and a very cool video IF you are a certain age. And I am. ; )
  • Missing driver says he woke up in field of donkeys

    09/18/2014 4:23:21 AM PDT · by aomagrat · 27 replies
    WIS TV ^ | 17 September 2014 | AP
    ROSWELL, N.M. (AP) - A driver who went missing after a one-car rollover in New Mexico says he later woke up in a field of donkeys.
  • Today's Toons 9/18/14

    09/18/2014 1:22:02 AM PDT · by pookie18 · 3 replies
    The Right Reasons ^ | 9/18/14 | pookie18
    Click on link.
  • VIDEO: Most Arrogant Man in the World

    09/17/2014 1:53:10 PM PDT · by Eccl 10:2 · 3 replies
    Don't Be A Donkey ^ | 9/17/2014 | Don't Be A Donkey
    He is...The Most Arrogant Man In The World
  • Bad Email Reply - What not to say to your professor... (video)

    09/17/2014 11:01:08 AM PDT · by EveningStar · 2 replies
    YouTube ^ | January 14, 2013 | mrandersonmath
    When you email your professor for the first time, things can go very wrong if you think this is a text message to your BFF! In all seriousness, there are some etiquette skills to learn in this video to make the best first impression. Moreover, you probably do not want to miss many classes at the start of any semester... Most importantly, that email was not a word-for-word copy of a student's email. This is a mash up of many poor emails, some common email mistakes and some of my own embellishment compiled into one email. Let me repeat: I...
  • Global warming likely to cause colder and snowier winters, scientists say (Actual Headline)

    09/17/2014 8:49:02 AM PDT · by Responsibility2nd · 78 replies
    AOL ^ | 09/15/2014 | RYAN GORMAN
    Scientists now believe that global warming is to blame for extreme cold snaps in North America during the winter months – and that it will only keep happening. The "polar vortex" that plunged Canada and the U.S. into historical cold last winter is said by researchers to have occurred because melting polar ice changes weather patterns, according to a study published earlier this month.
  • NFL Schedule - 2014 [Live Thread Week 3]

    09/17/2014 4:10:02 AM PDT · by Bender2 · 39 replies
    Week 3 Thursday, Sept. 18 Tampa Bay Buccaneers vs. Atlanta Falcons, 8:25 p.m. Sunday, Sept. 21 San Diego Chargers vs. Buffalo Bills, 1 p.m. Dallas Cowboys vs. St. Louis Rams, 1 p.m. Washington Redskins vs. Philadelphia Eagles, 1 p.m. Houston Texans vs. New York Giants, 1 p.m. Minnesota Vikings vs. New Orleans Saints, 1 p.m. Tennessee Titans vs. Cincinnati Bengals, 1 p.m. Baltimore Ravens vs. Cleveland Browns, 1 p.m. Green Bay Packers vs. Detroit Lions, 1 p.m. Indianapolis Colts vs. Jacksonville Jaguars, 1 p.m. Oakland Raiders vs. New England Patriots, 1 p.m. San Francisco 49ers vs. Arizona Cardinals, 4:05 p.m....
  • Today's Toons 9/17/14

    09/17/2014 1:21:40 AM PDT · by pookie18 · 18 replies
    The Right Reasons ^ | 9/17/14 | pookie18
    Click on link.
  • Bad Email Reply - What not to say to your professor... (video) (Is this typical?)

    09/16/2014 4:13:49 AM PDT · by servo1969 · 20 replies ^ | 1-14-2013 | mrandersonmath
    When you email your professor for the first time, things can go very wrong if you think this is a text message to your BFF!
  • Today's Toons 9/16/14

    09/16/2014 4:02:31 AM PDT · by pookie18 · 9 replies
    The Right Reasons ^ | 9/16/14 | pookie18
    Click on link.
  • Now Trending: ‘I H8 People Who H8′: Try these #DemocratTShirts on for size

    09/15/2014 2:56:41 PM PDT · by Lucky9teen · 17 replies
    We didnĀ’t think anything could top the excitement of voting for the next Democrat car magnet, but some givers on Twitter have stepped up with some #DemocratTShirts that really need to be mass-produced. #BoycottCoke Save a Child Urban Outfitters #IfIWokeUpWithAmnesia Scotland Bob Geldof #MadeInAus #DemocratTShirts James Nathaniel ā€¸@JNathaniel12 1m #DemocratTShirts Jeremy Rivkin ā€¸@SodasCat 1m Morals? Values? We got drums dude. #DemocratTShirts crazylarry ā€¸@Madcap62Larry 1m #DemocratTShirts So you voted for Bush? Your opinions are invalid. @ShareThis Jami ā€¸@Jami_USA 1m #DemocratTshirts "Mom! You shrunk the new shirt you bought me! That's it, I'm going to turn my music...
  • Today's Toons 9/15/14

    09/15/2014 1:24:39 AM PDT · by pookie18 · 13 replies
    The Briefing Room ^ | 9/15/14 | pookie18
    Click on link.
  • "Apparently Kid" gets his first tv commercial [youtube video]

    09/13/2014 7:42:53 AM PDT · by FlJoePa · 27 replies
    youtube ^ | 9-12-14 | Apparently Kid
    Remember the "Apparently Kid" from the PA county fair?
  • "ISIS is not Islamic..." A THOROUGH video debunking of the president's lies!

    09/12/2014 5:57:17 PM PDT · by StevenCrowder · 24 replies ^ | 09/12/14 | Steven Crowder
    When Barack Obama says that "ISIS is not Islamic," does he have any clue? Is he lying or just wrong? Video lays it out simply.
  • McIlroy’s tee shot lands in spectator’s pocket

    09/12/2014 5:23:35 PM PDT · by jazusamo · 29 replies
    The Washington Times ^ | September 12, 2014 | Doug Ferguson - AP
    ATLANTA — This is one shot even the great Rory McIlroy had no chance to hit. His golf ball landed in a spectator’s pocket. McIlroy’s tee shot on the 14th hole of the Tour Championship on Friday drifted to the right, clattered into a tree and dropped straight down. A dozen or so fans tried to figure out where it was before one man realized it was in the front right pocket of his shorts. The world’s No. 1 player was entitled to a free drop under Rule 19-1-a - “Ball in motion stopped or deflected by an outside agency”...
  • Professors are feeling hopeless. Good.

    09/12/2014 2:13:42 PM PDT · by BruceDeitrickPrice · 40 replies ^ | August 15, 2014 | Bruce Deitrick Price
    Lauren Squires, a sociolinguistic professor at OSU, is distressed by the success of the "Word Crimes" parody from Weird Al Yankovic. Professor Squires tut-tutted, “Many linguists are shaking their heads and feeling a little hopeless about what the public enthusiasm about it represents: a society where largely trivial, largely arbitrary standards of linguistic correctness are heavily privileged, and people feel justified in attacking those who don’t do things the ‘correct’ way.” In his highly entertaining video, Weird Al does not hesitate to insult people who use bad grammar. The professor thinks that Weird Al’s attitude “raises deep and long-standing questions...
  • "Moderate Islam": THE MYTH, DEBUNKED! *must watch video

    09/12/2014 8:57:10 AM PDT · by StevenCrowder · 29 replies ^ | 08/12/14 | Steven Crowder
    The video is already generating death threats. SURPRIIISE! Is "ISIS" merely a radical group? What about EVERY SINGLE Islamic country committing gross violations of human rights? The video debunks... Also, Dana Loesch literally slaps an Islamic terrorist!

    09/12/2014 5:39:28 AM PDT · by Lucky9teen · 165 replies
    Here's MY new Apple watch! It was all I could AFFORD! Using only song names from ONE ARTIST, cleverly answer these questions.  Try not to repeat a song title.It's harder than you think....I'll start first: Pick Your Artist: THE FIXXAre you male or female: ARE WE OURSELVES?Describe yourself: BEAUTIFUL FRICTIONHow do you feel about yourself: DRIVEN OUTDescribe your current boy/girl relation situation: ONE THING LEADS TO ANOTHERDescribe where you currently live: THE SIGN OF FIREIf you could go anywhere you wanted to go: LESS CITIES, MORE MOVING PEOPLEYour favorite form of transportation: SECRET SEPARATIONYour best friend(s) is(are): DEEPER AND...
  • Today's Toons 9/12/14

    09/12/2014 1:29:48 AM PDT · by pookie18 · 9 replies
    The Briefing Room ^ | 9/12/14 | pookie18
    Click on link.
  • The College Football Czar: Week 3

    09/11/2014 4:15:29 PM PDT · by Daniel Clark · 3 replies
    The Shinbone: The Frontier of the Free Press ^ | September 11, 2014 | Daniel Clark
    The College Football Czar: Week 3 Week two in review: The Delta House defense has won, as the NCAA has ended the Penn State bowl ban after two seasons. So it’s official, then. A four-year postseason ban is too severe a punishment for knowingly allowing a child-rapist to operate on campus for a decade after his acts are made known to campus police. A good argument can be made that because all parties involved in the scandal have departed, it makes no sense to continue to punish those who are there today. In hindsight, the program really should have been...
  • Randy Newman - Political Science (Let's Drop the Big One Now)

    09/11/2014 12:14:14 PM PDT · by BulletBobCo · 11 replies
    Youtube ^ | Uploaded on Oct 21, 2008 | Joe Ramen
    They all hate us anyhow.... let's drop the big one now.
  • Andrew Klavan: The Newest Threat on College Campuses: Microaggression (video)

    09/11/2014 11:43:30 AM PDT · by servo1969 · 32 replies ^ | 9-11-2014 | Andrew Klavan
    I’m Andrew Klavan and this is the Revolting Truth. Well, it’s back to school time and all across our country, college students are suffering from an insidious form of oppression called microaggressions. These are defined as commonplace verbal or, behavioral indignities... that communicate racist or sexist slights or insults...” Microaggressions take place when, for instance, a woman sees a black male and clutches her purse more tightly making it too damn hard for him to snatch the thing away from her... or when two men hear a woman speaking and look at one another like this [makes a face] the...
  • Today's Toons 9/11/14

    09/11/2014 1:27:12 AM PDT · by pookie18 · 15 replies
    The Right Reasons ^ | 9/11/14 | pookie18
    Click on link.
  • A Little Bible Study

    09/10/2014 9:11:36 AM PDT · by NKP_Vet · 20 replies
    September 10, 2014
    A Little Bible Study "Left" and "Right": A little Bible study. Remember what Jesus said: 'Goats on the left, sheep on the right'(Matthew 25:33). Jesus also told Peter that if he wanted to catch fish do it from the right side of the boat. They did and filled the boat with fish. John 21:6 (NIV) He said, "Throw your net on the right side of the boat and you will find some." When they did, they were unable to haul the net in because of the large number of fish." Origin of Left & Right... I have often wondered why...
  • Obama rejected: Top golf courses say no to his Labor Day play requests

    09/10/2014 8:07:56 AM PDT · by jazusamo · 47 replies
    The Washington Times ^ | September 10, 2014 | Cheryl K. Chumley
    At least three elite golf courses in the wealthy New York community of Westchester turned up their noses at President Obama and declined to let him play during his Labor Day travels to the area, citing concerns of inconveniencing their high-profile clients, a source told New York media. Among the courses: The Trump National Golf Club, the Winged Foot and Willow Ridge, NBC 4 New York reported. The courses would have had to shut down to accommodate the president and his entourage — including Secret Service — during one of their busiest holiday weekends.
  • NFL Schedule - 2014 [Live Thread Week 2]

    09/10/2014 5:25:17 AM PDT · by Bender2 · 171 replies
    Week 2 Thursday, Sept. 11 Pittsburgh Steelers vs. Baltimore Ravens, 8:25 p.m. Sunday, Sept. 14 Miami Dolphins vs. Buffalo Bills, 1 p.m. Jacksonville Jaguars vs. Washington Redskins, 1 p.m. Dallas Cowboys vs. Tennessee Titans, 1 p.m. Arizona Cardinals vs. New York Giants, 1 p.m. New England Patriots vs. Minnesota Vikings, 1 p.m. New Orleans Saints vs. Cleveland Browns, 1 p.m. Atlanta Falcons vs. Cincinnati Bengals, 1 p.m. Detroit Lions vs. Carolina Panthers, 1 p.m. St. Louis Rams vs. Tampa Bay Buccaneers, 4:05 p.m. Seattle Seahawks vs. San Diego Chargers, 4:05 p.m. Houston Texans vs. Oakland Raiders, 4:25 p.m. New York...
  • Today's Toons 9/10/14

    09/10/2014 1:26:56 AM PDT · by pookie18 · 10 replies
    The Right Reasons ^ | 9/10/14 | pookie18
    Click on link.
  • Perks of being over 60

    09/09/2014 7:36:46 PM PDT · by NKP_Vet · 73 replies
    September 9, 2014
    THE PERKS OF BEING OVER 60 1) Kidnappers are not very interested in you. 2) In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first. 3) No one expects you to run -- anywhere. 4) People call at 9 PM and ask, "Did I wake you?" 5) People no longer view you as a hypochondriac. 6) There is nothing left to learn the hard way. 7) Things you buy now won't wear out. 8) You can eat dinner at 4 P.M. 9) You can live without sex but not without your glasses. 10) You enjoy hearing about other peoples...
  • Another Debbie Wasserman Oops.Ray Rice Elevator Knockout Makes Scott Walker A Saint.

    09/09/2014 3:50:23 PM PDT · by Cruz_West_Paul2016 · 12 replies
    So according to Debbie Wasserman,Governor Scott Walker is an evil,woman hating tyrant who grabs ladies by the hair&drags them like they did in the caveman era.And here we are a few days later after her derogatory accusations of Walker,then we all saw what Ray Rice did to his wife.So will we hear any comments from Mrs. Wasserman in regards to Ray Rice violently abusing his future wife in an elevator with a blow that could of killed her?And what if Ray Rice was a White Conservative Football Player?
  • Video: The Saltire fails to fly over Downing Street

    09/09/2014 2:07:15 PM PDT · by Berlin_Freeper · 19 replies ^ | Sep 09, 2014 | Scotland Now
    PRIME Minister David Cameron announced that the Saltire will fly above Downing Street in the run up to the independence referendum on September 18 - but it seems the idea didn't quite work out to plan.
  • Today's Toons 9/9/14

    09/09/2014 1:16:05 AM PDT · by pookie18 · 12 replies
    The Right Reasons ^ | 9/9/14 | pookie18
    Click on link.
  • Headlines, Year 2059

    09/08/2014 8:56:19 PM PDT · by NKP_Vet · 18 replies
    HEADLINES FROM THE YEAR 2059 Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest Country in the world, Mexifornia, formerly known as California. White minorities still trying to have English recognized as the third language. Spotted Owl plague threatens Northwestern United States crops and livestock. Baby conceived naturally! Scientists stumped. Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage. Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels. France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica. No other country comes forward to help the beleaguered...
  • Explain a Film Plot Badly

    09/08/2014 12:22:28 PM PDT · by EveningStar · 30 replies
    National Review ^ | September 7, 2014
    If brevity is the soul of wit, can it also breathe life into bad movie descriptions? Twitter users had fun over the weekend coming up with obscure, sometimes humorously misleading summaries for the plots of famous films on the hashtag #ExplainAFilmPlotBadly. Here's a look -- we've provided stills, but can you recognize every film?
  • FILM PLOTS EXPLAINED BADLY [Summarizing a movie in one sentence...]

    09/08/2014 8:00:06 AM PDT · by SeekAndFind · 52 replies
    National Review ^ | 09/08/2014
    If brevity is the soul of wit, can it also breathe life into bad movie descriptions? Twitter users had fun over the weekend coming up with obscure, sometimes humorously misleading summaries for the plots of famous films on the hashtag #ExplainAFilmPlotBadly. Here’s a look — we’ve provided stills, but can you recognize every film? What makes a great “bad” plot description? Turner Classic Movies writer Rick Polito set the standard back in 1998 when he summed up The Wizard of Oz like this: “Transported to a surreal landscape, a young girl kills the first person she meets and then teams...
  • Today's Toons 9/8/14

    09/08/2014 1:16:52 AM PDT · by pookie18 · 13 replies
    The Briefing Room ^ | 9/8/14 | pookie18
    Click on link.
  • Fast food fan immediately regrets complaining to Domino's about pizza without toppings

    09/07/2014 4:06:06 PM PDT · by Focault's Pendulum · 49 replies
    the Telegraph ^ | August 18, 2014 11:25 AM
    Fast food fan immediately regrets complaining to Domino's about pizza without toppings A London-based Twitter user been widely mocked for making a bizarre complaint to Domino’s Pizza
  • Obama Goes to the Bank

    09/06/2014 7:13:12 PM PDT · by TBP · 6 replies
    Facebook ^ | ??? | Adrain Cronauer?
    President Obama walks into a local bank in Chicago to cash a check. He is surrounded by Secret Service agents. As he approaches the cashier he says, "Good morning Ma'am, could you please cash this check for me?" Cashier: "It would be my pleasure sir. Could you please show me your ID?" Obama: "Truthfully, I did not bring my ID with me as I didn't think there was any need to. I am President Barack Obama, the President of the United States of AMERICA !!!!" Cashier: "Yes sir, I know who you are, but with all the regulations and monitoring...
  • Mutant Giant Spider Dog (SA Wardega)- Prank

    09/06/2014 2:49:48 PM PDT · by Perdogg · 27 replies
    Mutant Giant Spider Dog (SA Wardega)
  • Simon's Cat is Washed Up

    09/06/2014 11:00:22 AM PDT · by Gefn · 37 replies
    Simon's cat discovers laundry day, with humorous consequences.
  • Word Crimes Weird Al" Yankovic video

    09/06/2014 9:50:07 AM PDT · by DJ MacWoW · 17 replies
    youtube ^ | Jul 15, 2014 | WEIRD AL YANKOVIC
    WEIRD AL YANKOVIC LYRICS "Word Crimes" [Intro:] Everybody shut up, WOO! Everyone listen up! Hey, hey, hey, uh Hey, hey, hey Hey, hey, hey [Verse 1:] If you can't write in the proper way If you don't know how to conjugate Maybe you flunked that class And maybe now you find That people mock you online [Bridge:] Okay, now here's the deal I'll try to educate ya Gonna familiarize You with the nomenclature You'll learn the definitions Of nouns and prepositions Literacy's your mission And that's why I think it's a [Chorus:] Good time To learn some grammar Now, did...