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Humor (General/Chat)

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  • Nihilistic Password Security Questions

    10/03/2015 2:18:30 PM PDT · by sparklite2 · 20 replies
    Timothy McSweeney ^ | 10/3/2015 | SOHEIL REZAYAZDI
    What is the name of your least favorite child? In what year did you abandon your dreams? What is the maiden name of your father’s mistress? At what age did your childhood pet run away? What was the name of your favorite unpaid internship? In what city did you first experience ennui? What is your ex-wife’s newest last name? What sports team do you fetishize to avoid meaningful discussion with others? What is the name of your favorite canceled TV show? What was the middle name of your first rebound? On what street did you lose your childlike sense of...
  • Mold whine: Soylent superfood shipments stopped by spore scare (Liquid goop cleanup in Aisle 3)

    10/02/2015 10:24:24 PM PDT · by dayglored · 11 replies
    The Register ^ | Oct 3, 2015 | Iain Thomson
    Soylent, which produces liquid food for techies who hate chewing, has stopped shipping its gloop after some of it was contaminated with mold. The firm started flogging version 2.0 of its formula in August, and has produced 400,000 bottles of the strange substance. It has since learned that 11 of the bottles had mold inside or on the outside by the time they reached customers. That's a tiny proportion, however on Friday the biz confirmed it's halting operations. "During our record review process we did discover that the conveyor guardrail settings were not optimized, causing some bottles to move erratically...
  • Up close and personal with a HUGE brown bear under a guys back deck!

    10/02/2015 8:59:17 PM PDT · by beaversmom · 43 replies
    You Tube ^ | September 21, 2015 | Deep Bush Survival
    Published on 21 Sep 2015 A guys gets up close and personal with a HUGE brown bear under his buddys back deck. Kudos to him for handling the situation without having to put the bear down!
  • vanity - the real story behind water on Mars

    10/02/2015 10:56:37 AM PDT · by InvisibleChurch · 1 replies
  • Humans In Harnesses Are The Hot Accessory

    10/02/2015 9:02:46 AM PDT · by rfreedom4u · 21 replies
    Yahoo Style ^ | October 1, 2015 | Sarah Cristobal
    Rick Owens seems to enjoy turning the fashion world on its well-coiffed head. In the past, the designer has enlisted muscular step dancers to stomp down the runway and featured penises (they peeked out from tunics) as the must have accessory for his fall/ winter 2014 mens collection. His latest runway spectacle was called “Cyclops,” but instead of one-eyed creatures clomping down the runway, he sent models out with what can only be classified as human backpacks. While a trio of gospel singers sang about “Protecting land and how it’s ours to preserve,” models appeared with local gymnasts strapped to...
  • Russian Air Force destroys ISIS command center, training camp

    10/02/2015 6:04:03 AM PDT · by logi_cal869 · 53 replies
    RT ^ | 10/02/2015 | RT
    On Thursday, Russian warplanes stationed in Syria attacked a terrorist training camp and a command center, taking it out with a precision strike launched form an altitude of over 5,000 meters, the Russian Defense Ministry reported. Trends Russian anti-terror op in Syria READ MORE: RT EXCLUSIVE: First look at Russian airbase in Latakia, centerpiece of anti-ISIS operations (VIDEO) The airstrike was one of a dozen conducted by Russia in Syria on Thursday during 18 sorties, Lieutenant General Igor Konashenkov, the ministry spokesman, told journalists. Advanced Sukhoi Su-25 and Su-34s were used for strikes. “The targeting systems of those planes allows...

    10/02/2015 5:55:20 AM PDT · by Lucky9teen · 45 replies
    ************What a last name...************Mars: I’m wet.Earth: I’m coming over.************ ************House Speaker John Boehner announced that he is resigning from Congress. When he heard Congress lost Boehner, John McCain said, “Oh I got a little blue pill for that.” “No, BOEHNER. We lost House Speaker Boehner!" It's pronounced Bay-ner. ~ Fallon************************After their meeting got off to a tense start, Obama and Putin wound up talking for 90 minutes, and Putin described the talks as "surprisingly open." Putin said it was the most productive conversation he'd ever had with someone who wasn't tied to a chair. ~ Fallon************************"On Friday, despite our...
  • Today's Toons 10/2/15

    10/02/2015 1:16:56 AM PDT · by pookie18 · 15 replies
    The Briefing Room ^ | 10/2/15 | pookie18
    Click on link.
  • The College Football Czar: Week 5

    10/01/2015 7:03:15 PM PDT · by Daniel Clark · 19 replies
    The Shinbone: The Frontier of the Free Press ^ | October 1, 2015 | Daniel Clark
    The College Football Czar: Week 5 Week four in review: The College Football Czar had another bad week, although the week the replay officials had around the country was far worse. A completely unjustifiable reversal on a fumble call to decide the Thursday night Memphis-Cincinnati game set the tone for a long Saturday of blown calls on replay. The Czar accepts the fact that instant replay reviews are here to stay, but he’ll thank announcers to stop justifying the practice with the asinine assertion that “the important thing is to get the call right in the end.” Those teams that...
  • Ohhh, I can see Putin's shoeprint on Obama's ass from my house!

    10/01/2015 10:18:25 AM PDT · by Cats Pajamas · 18 replies
  • When things don't go to plan lol

    10/01/2015 8:22:48 AM PDT · by Cats Pajamas · 6 replies
    Youtube ^ | Sept 26
    Red light! Oh NO! It didn't record!
  • Today's Toons 10/1/15

    10/01/2015 1:32:19 AM PDT · by pookie18 · 16 replies
    The Right Reasons ^ | 10/1/15 | pookie18
    Click on link.
  • Close Call: The Secret Service Just Caught Him Trying To Pull His Own Head Off?

    10/01/2015 12:43:02 AM PDT · by wannabegeek · 18 replies ^ | September 15, 2015 |
     Looks like we narrowly avoided tragedy this morning. According to a White House press release, the Secret Service just discovered President Barack Obama trying to pull his own head off, but they managed to stop him before he succeeded. Wow. This could have been really bad.According to the White House, several Secret Service agents walked into the Lincoln Bedroom at approximately 6:45 a.m. and discovered President Obama standing alone in the middle of the room with his hands wrapped around his head and trying with considerable effort to remove it from his body.The agents who witnessed the scene said that...
  • Black Bear Gnaws on Delta 15s Seakayak in Berg Bay, Alaska

    09/30/2015 11:43:21 PM PDT · by 21twelve · 35 replies
    Youtube ^ | Sept. 29, 2015 | Mary Maley
    During a solo kayak trip, intended to go from from Ketchikan, Alaska to Petersburg, Alask, a bear attacked my kayak. This incident occurred outside of a US Forest Service cabin in Berg Bay, Wrangell District, Alaska.
  • Amy's Place ... Poetry and Potpourri ... October, November and December, 2015

    09/30/2015 8:40:33 PM PDT · by JustAmy · 68 replies
    October 1, 2015 | JustAmy; Meg33, The Mayor; Trisham; St.Louie1, Friends, MamaBear
    Welcome To.... 'Amy's Place' welcomes all poets and those who enjoy poetry.'Amy's Place' is more than just about poetry.Come in, relax, and share with fellow FReepersyour thoughts about any of the things on the *Menu*. Enjoy! :) Never Forget! Bad Penny Amy's personal guardian ~ the ever charming, lovable, huggable, LouieWolf Many thanks for stopping by. : )
  • Poor Mitch McConnell.

    09/30/2015 4:35:44 AM PDT · by Lazamataz · 47 replies
    Original Material | 9/30/2015 | By Laz A. Mataz
  • NFL Week 4 Live Thread

    09/30/2015 4:14:42 AM PDT · by Bender2 · 49 replies
    ESPN ^ | ESPN
    WEEK 4 Oct. 1 Baltimore Ravens at Pittsburgh Steelers 8:25 Oct. 4 New York Jets at Miami Dolphins (London) 9:30 AM Houston Texans at Atlanta Falcons 1 New York Giants at Buffalo Bills 1 Oakland Raiders at Chicago Bears 1 Kansas City Chiefs at Cincinnati Bengals 1 Jacksonville Jaguars at Indianapolis Colts 1 Carolina Panthers at Tampa Bay Buccaneers 1 Philadelphia Eagles at Washington Redskins 1 Cleveland Browns at San Diego Chargers 4:05 St. Louis Rams at Arizona Cardinals 4:25 Minnesota Vikings at Denver Broncos 4:25 Green Bay Packers at San Francisco 49ers 4:25 Dallas Cowboys at New Orleans Saints...
  • Today's Toons 9/30/15

    09/30/2015 3:56:49 AM PDT · by pookie18 · 10 replies
    The Right Reasons ^ | 9/30/15 | pookie18
    Click on link.
  • Is It Better to Adopt a Rubio Staffer, a Kitten, or a Water Buffalo?

    09/30/2015 3:02:04 AM PDT · by Slings and Arrows · 49 replies
    New York Magazine ^ | September 29, 2015 | Ben Ellman
    Republican presidential candidate Marco Rubio recently added “Adopt a Staffer for the Day” as an option in the campaign store. It costs you $250, and in return you'll be mentioned on Twitter and get an update from the impoverished Young Republican taker — who'd better be cute! (No, this is not welfare, since they have to work!) How does it compare to other selfless adoptions you might try out?-snip-You can adopt a kitten from the ASPCA for about half the price of a Rubio staffer.Apparently you can adopt an entire herd of manatees, Florida’s most famous aquatic residents, for the...
  • WATERPROOF iPhone 6Ss? Old news. Check out the OTHER 7 SECRET FEATURES

    09/29/2015 8:41:21 PM PDT · by Swordmaker · 7 replies
    The Register ^ | 29 Sep 2015 at 15:10 | By Lewis Page
    In other news - HATS are secretly BOWLS An iPhone user after having demonstrated the handset's secret lighter function We here at the Reg, as all our readers know, subscribe completely to the idea that people need a continual stream of iPhone related news-style content. We were especially impressed by the idea that the new iPhone 6S and 6S Plus might be "secretly waterproof". Some curmudgeons might suggest that this is merely a standard feature found on all phones which are not sold as being waterproof: that is, some waterproofing is done in order to reduce the rate at which...
  • Has the EPA Lost their ever loving mind? ~ Vanity

    The EPA Twittered this: "Think sunny days are good for plants? Not always. Sunlight causes #ozone to form, which harms foliage, weakens trees: …" Their link is broken because I think they embarassed themselves.

    09/29/2015 8:12:12 PM PDT · by Swordmaker · 66 replies
    Atlas Obscura ^ | 25 SEP 2015 | BY SARAH LASKOW
    The Broadway Apple Store (Photo: Matt Buchanan/Flickr)In more ancient times, when communal experiences were mediated by religion, crowds used to gather outside temples on feast days. In Biblical times, for instance, on pilgrimage holidays like Passover, Jewish people were supposed to travel to Jerusalem, to be present at the Holy Temple, where the High Priest would make a sacrifice to God.Nowadays, we have Apple Release Day—the Feast of St. Jobs—when faithful customers gather outside Apple stores and await the renewal of a next generation iPhone.But is the Apple store really like a sacred space? To find out, Atlas Obscura brought...
  • Arsonist Night Deposit Backfires

    09/29/2015 4:24:40 PM PDT · by BBell · 8 replies
    Colorado Springs, CO - Colorado Springs Police are looking for the man in this video. He's accused of trying to light a jar of gasoline and put it through a Wells Fargo overnight drop box. Based on the surveillance video, police believe the suspect may have been burned during the arson attempt. They are hoping for help in identifying the burnt moron. If you have any information that can help, call CSPD at 444-7000.
  • His Legs Don’t Reach The Floor! Yet This Little Genius Gets Down? Must See!

    09/29/2015 3:44:09 PM PDT · by BlackFemaleArmyCaptain · 14 replies
    faith reel ^ | 9/28/2015 | Tabitha Khaye
    When this toddler wakes up, and wants out of bed, he realizes it’s a long fall for his little legs. So he does the last thing some of us expected, I found it interesting how he knows one pillow won’t do, or even two, but three are needed for that safe jump. The way he throws his soother before he makes his jump, proves he really knows what he is doing. This is one smart little escape artist!
  • Carl's Jr's racy new TexMex burger commercial featuring scantily-clad women playing volleyball...

    09/29/2015 1:35:28 PM PDT · by petercooper · 76 replies
    The Daily Mail ^ | 09-29-2015 | Daily Mail
    Full title: Carl's Jr's racy new TexMex burger commercial featuring scantily-clad women playing volleyball over a border wall reflects 'what's going on with immigration', says one of its models New ad involves two sets of models representing Texas and Mexico The women are playing to determine whether the burger is 'Tex' or 'Mex' Kara Del Toro, who is in 'Team Mex', says the commercial is a 'bold move' She claims it is 'playing' on the immigration debate dominating the 2016 presidential race The American team are all blondes while the Mexican team are brunettes but Del Toro insists the commercial...
  • The Martian

    09/29/2015 1:07:58 PM PDT · by Textide · 84 replies
    self | 09/29/2015 | Textide
    FReepers, I can't recommend this one enough. This book is phenomenal. Here's an effort at a short summary: In the near future, an astronaut is presumed dead and left behind on Mars during a dust storm. Turns out he pulled through and has to figure out how to survive. NASA has several missions planned over the coming years so he meticulously plans and executes his survival with the hopes that the future missions take place. What struck me was that he didn't feel sorry for himself. He conducted himself as a man and even had contempt for fate. He wasn't...
  • China calls Hillary Clinton a “rabble rouser” over Xi tweet

    09/29/2015 6:36:12 AM PDT · by Enterprise · 6 replies
    kmj.580 ^ | 9/29/15 | Unknown
    CNN) – China has lashed out at Hillary Clinton for her tweet criticizing Chinese President Xi Jinping’s record on gender equality, accusing her of being a “rabble-rouser” intent on China-bashing to win election points. The English edition of Global Times, a state-run media outlet, ran the editorial on Monday saying she had “resorted to these ignominious shenanigans” and likened her to another 2016 candidate, Donald Trump. It added: “Hillary was a lawyer, the former hostess of the White House, and also a senior leader in the government. It is a pity that even the former first lady has also thrown...
  • Today's Toons 9/29/15

    09/29/2015 1:21:29 AM PDT · by pookie18 · 13 replies
    The Right Reasons ^ | 9/29/15 | pookie18
    Click on link.
  • About Four More Weeks Of Global Warming News.Then "They Go In Hiding"For Six Months.

    09/28/2015 3:53:56 PM PDT · by Cruz_West_Paul2016 · 22 replies
    And has anyone ever take notice that Obama, Kerry and the rest never discuss Global Warming during the six months of winter? Can we assume that the likes of Al Gore go hiding in Florida and California? Who can't wait till December when the average temperature in the United States is 35, and for much of the country,between "0 and 10" degrees at night.Then come the next three months when we will be watching the news and every week it will be another "Polar Vortex","Ice Storm" or "The Weekly Blizzard From Hell". Us conservatives will just be laughing all winter...
  • Today's Toons 9/28/15

    09/28/2015 1:23:07 AM PDT · by pookie18 · 15 replies
    The Briefing Room ^ | 9/28/15 | pookie18
    Click on link.
  • Your Predictions On New Fox Comedy"Grandfathered"?Anyone Anxious To Watch It?

    09/27/2015 6:18:11 PM PDT · by Cruz_West_Paul2016 · 29 replies
    Most comedy series in general don't last very long on any network. Anyone remember what happened to "The Mindy Project"? By now most of us have seen the promo ads for "The Grandfathered" starring John Stamos. It was not funny or anything original to laugh at like we were during the Seinfeld years. So what do you want to give it? Two episodes before Donald Trump fired Stamos? Maybe Three? I think most viewers are no longer jumping up and down in sheer giddy over John Stamos.
  • 10 Often-Censored Songs from the Early ’50s(strong language warning)

    09/27/2015 5:48:35 PM PDT · by Impala64ssa · 57 replies
    Rebeat ^ | Rick Simmons
    When most people think about music from the 1950s, they might recall songs like the ones heard on Happy Days or American Graffiti — “Rock Around the Clock,” “The Great Pretender,” “Yakety Yak,” and other tunes that bring to mind sock hops, soda fountains, and drive-ins. But before these more innocuous songs would grace integrated radio in the late-1950s, early-50s African-American R&B took quite a few liberties with song content, and double entendres ruled the day. As a result, there are a number of songs from the period that are surprisingly suggestive, given the state of American music in the...
  • Why Super Bowl 50?

    09/27/2015 3:47:37 PM PDT · by 1raider1 · 64 replies
    M' haid | 9/27/2015 | Me
    Why was it OK to have Super Bowl I, V, X, but not L?
  • Criticism of Glenn Beck here reminds me.

    09/27/2015 3:35:40 AM PDT · by 1raider1 · 66 replies
    Random thought | September 27, 2015 | Moi
    Reading the, maybe justified, criticism of Glenn Beck here, I'm reminded of the quote, "A prophet hath not honor in his own country."
  • Global Climate Sham.The Argument Is Over?Yet They Wont Name A Nation In Dire Straights.

    09/26/2015 5:39:48 PM PDT · by Cruz_West_Paul2016 · 21 replies
    Every time we hear the likes of Obama and Kerry adamantly declare that Global Warming and Global Climate is real, they still never point out an example. It's beyond laughable at this point. The leftist leaders keep insisting that we are experiencing global warming/climate change as we speak, yet they never say where! Is Italy or Great Britain under water? Has either pole melted? are all countries along the equator on fire or so hot that we are having mass evacuations? God! we just can't wait for November and El Nino to come. Lets see them blame the upcoming vicious...
  • Common Feminist Myths Completely Debunked by Karen Straughan

    09/26/2015 11:33:37 AM PDT · by StevenCrowder · 17 replies ^ | 09/26/2015 | Steven Crowder
    "What Feminism has seemed to want to do is give women all the advantages that men have historically enjoyed but none of the disadvantages..." This week I had the most informative guest I've ever had on the program. It's worth your listen if you're looking to learn more about the roots of feminism, and just how inaccurate some of their commonly accepted myths are. Highlights of the video: Women actually commit domestic violence at a much higher rate than men. She explains why When polled, over 70% of women in Europe did not want the right to vote. The reason...
  • North Korea claims it has miniaturized nuclear BBs

    09/26/2015 9:33:17 AM PDT · by SandRat · 21 replies
    UN NEWS ^ | 20 May 2015 | Mother Ship of amateur comedy writing
    Pyongyang says it has developed miniaturized nuclear BBs making it possible to fit them into standard BB and Air-soft projectors. The report comes just days after North Korea claimed a joint venture with Lucas Films to build a golf-ball-sized Death Star. “It has been a long time since we began miniaturizing and diversifying our means of nuclear strike,”North Korea’s National Autocratic Defense Commission said in a statement, as cited by the official Korean Nuclear Agency (KNA). "We have also reached the stage where the highest accuracy rate is guaranteed not only for short- and medium-range BBs such as 10 yards...
  • Boehner: ‘This Morning I Woke Up … Said My Prayers’ and Decided ‘Today’s the Day’ (SMH)

    09/26/2015 4:23:33 AM PDT · by Olog-hai · 32 replies
    Cybercast News Service ^ | September 25, 2015 | 2:05 PM EDT | Melanie Hunter
    Singing “Zip-a-dee-doo-dah” as he began his press conference, House Speaker John Boehner (R-Ohio) formally announced his resignation from his leadership post and from Congress effective at the end of October. […] “Now as you’ve often heard me say, this isn’t about me. It’s about the people. It’s about the institution. Just yesterday, we witnessed the awesome sight of Pope Francis addressing the greatest legislative body in the world, and I hope that we will all heed his call to live by the golden rule,” Boehner said. “But last night I began thinking about this, and this morning I woke up,...

    09/25/2015 6:14:59 AM PDT · by Lucky9teen · 65 replies
    is it me, or did anyone listening to the Pope speak, expect him to say "It's a-me, Mario!"? ****** "Pope Francis was named Time magazine's person of the year, and today he performed his first miracle – he got people to buy Time magazine." –Conan O'Brien******"Pope Francis revealed that he used to work as a nightclub bouncer. In the same interview he announced that on Tuesday night ladies get into heaven for free." ––Conan O'Brien******"According to new statistics, Pope Francis is the most talked about person on the Internet. And not only that, he has the most viewed profile...
  • Today's Toons 9/25/15

    09/25/2015 1:20:27 AM PDT · by pookie18 · 17 replies
    The Briefing Room ^ | 9/25/15 | pookie18
    Click on link.
  • The College Football Czar: Week 4

    09/24/2015 6:04:49 PM PDT · by Daniel Clark · 8 replies
    The Shinbone: The Frontier of the Free Press ^ | September 24, 2015 | Daniel Clark
    The College Football Czar: Week 4 Week three in review: It was a dismal week for the College Football Czar, but he’s not the only one. Top-ranked Ohio State barely eked out a victory over Northern Illinois, while both Alabama and Southern Cal D-sintegrated before our eyes. It was a Saturday filled with seesaw battles decided by razor-thin margins, several of which turned against the Czar at the last moment. For the week, he was 9-11, causing his overall record to plummet to 39-21, for a .650 winning percentage. All the on-air personalities at the Seamy Underbelly of Networks have...
  • Headline: "VW Executives Endorse Carly Fiorina for President" [satire]

    09/24/2015 11:23:46 AM PDT · by logi_cal869 · 4 replies
    09/24/2015 | self
    Had a funny thought this morning...that is all.
  • Cats vs Zombies (LoL - caution: some phony blood & gore)

    09/24/2015 8:24:04 AM PDT · by nuconvert · 3 replies
    You tube ^ | Sept. 10, 2015
    Video - Cats vs Zombies
  • ...Bad English Coaching... (Video clip via LiveLeak)

    09/24/2015 7:27:27 AM PDT · by beaversmom · 11 replies
    ...Bad English Coaching... ^ | December 22, 2013 | SamiHanish
    Bad English Coaching...Link
  • Today's Toons 9/24/15

    09/24/2015 1:30:24 AM PDT · by pookie18 · 13 replies
    The Right Reasons ^ | 9/24/15 | pookie18
    Click on link.
  • Conjugal Visits for Hillary?

    09/23/2015 1:22:56 PM PDT · by AJFavish · 47 replies
    September 23, 2015 | Allan J. Favish
    Will Hillary be able to have conjugal visits in prison from Bill?
  • Barack Obama's cousin sues Met after colleagues break wind near her desk

    09/23/2015 10:47:26 AM PDT · by ButThreeLeftsDo · 49 replies
    The Telegraph ^ | 9/23/15 | Telegraph Staff
    A British cousin of Barack Obama is suing Scotland Yard over claims colleagues made her life a misery by deliberately breaking wind near her desk. Marie Auma, who related to the US President through her aunt, Kezia Obama, who is his Bracknell, Berkshire-based step-mother, is demanding £400,000 from the Met over claims that she was belittled and humiliated during a two year campaign of harassment.
  • 50 Things From 50 States That Will Make You Proud To Be American

    09/23/2015 1:32:57 AM PDT · by Daffynition · 40 replies
    BuzzFeed ^ | Jun. 30, 2015 | U.S. Army
    The U.S. Army proudly protects all the things that make us proud.
  • Today's Toons 9/23/15

    09/23/2015 1:19:53 AM PDT · by pookie18 · 13 replies
    The Right Reasons ^ | 9/23/15 | pookie18
    Click on link.
  • VIDEO: So I Went to a "Feminist Film Festival" In my Underwear and Got Kicked Out...

    09/22/2015 6:10:36 PM PDT · by StevenCrowder · 48 replies ^ | 09/22/2015 | Steven Crowder
    This week, I went to a radical "Feminist Film Festival." As I tried to take part in their "body pride" panels... by showing up in my underwear, I was kicked out and ostracized. And yes, you'll learn all about modern feminism along the way.