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Humor (General/Chat)

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  • Today's Toons 7/23/14

    07/23/2014 1:12:22 AM PDT · by pookie18 · 14 replies
    The Right Reasons ^ | 7/23/14 | pookie18
    click on link.
  • Police Draw Colorado Springs Man Out of Apartment By Unplugging Illegal Utilities Connection

    07/22/2014 9:45:15 PM PDT · by Up Yours Marxists · 20 replies
    The Gazette ^ | July 22, 2014 22:36 GMT | Emily Donovan
    A Colorado Springs man was arrested Tuesday on a felony warrant after police drew him out of his apartment southeast of Airport Road and South Academy Boulevard. Nicholas Rogers, 34, was wanted on a felony menacing warrant. Police looked for him at his apartment in a complex in the 700 block of Chapman Drive. No one answered the apartment door, but police found an extension cord running from his residence to an outlet in the laundry room, an illegal utilities connection. Police disconnected the cord and hid in the laundry room to wait. After about half an hour, Rogers left...
  • Newington Teen Asks Joe Biden To The Prom; VP Sends Her A Corsage

    07/22/2014 9:09:37 PM PDT · by Up Yours Marxists · 28 replies
    The Courant ^ | July 22, 2014 15:01 GMT | Christopher Hoffman
    NEWINGTON — When Talia Maselli envisioned her perfect prom date, one man immediately sprang to mind: Vice President Joe Biden. “Joe Biden makes me laugh,” the Maselli said. “He just cracks me up.” So she mailed Biden a handwritten note last fall asking him to escort her to the Newington High School prom. “I am inviting you so far in advance because I’m sure many 17-year-old girls send you prom invitations, and I had to beat them to it,” Maselli said in her letter. “I could only tolerate a high school dance if I was to be escorted by the...
  • A guest list fit for a prince! The Queen joins Harry, Zara and Kate at Kensington Palace

    07/22/2014 5:44:25 PM PDT · by abb · 11 replies
    Daily Mail ^ | July 23, 2014 | Rebecca English
    The Queen was among the guests at Kensington Palace for Prince George's first birthday party She was joined by Prince Harry, Zara and Mike Tindall, the Middleton clan and Kate's childhood friend Emilia d'Erlanger The latter joined the Duchess of Cambridge and Prince George on a trip to Buckingham Palace this morning George's first birthday party has been organised by Carole Middleton and has a Peter Rabbit theme During the party, guests will tuck into a special cake made by George's Spanish nanny, Maria Teresa Turrion Borrallo Grandparents Prince Charles and the Duchess of Cornwall were notable absentees but did...
  • George Harrison tree is felled by beetles

    07/22/2014 3:12:11 PM PDT · by dware · 26 replies
    Reuters ^ | 07.22.2014 | Reuters
    A tree planted in memorial to late Beatles guitarist George Harrison following his death in Los Angeles in 2001 has been killed by bark beetles amid California's epic drought, a local official said on Tuesday.
  • It's My Birthday!!!

    07/22/2014 8:51:58 AM PDT · by Focault's Pendulum · 42 replies
    The Wayback Machine ^ | 7/22/2014 | FP
    Signed up July 22, 1999. Please help me celebrate and take look at the linked postAt the time, it was the second longest thread on FR. The longest was Arthur McGowan's "Please Don't Ping Me." It had 1100 replies. So click the link to see some old friends, many are still here. Unfortunately some have passed on or passed out.
  • Is We're the Millers perhaps the funniest film ever made?

    07/22/2014 8:27:28 AM PDT · by mylife · 103 replies
    youtube ^ | 7/22/14 | youtube
    I know this is a movie about bad behavior but it seems to redeem bad actors. I heehawed my but off. What do you all think of the film?
  • Texas 10 Most Wanted Fugitives (All White Males-Must See)

    07/21/2014 8:53:31 PM PDT · by equalator · 52 replies
    I find it interesting that all of Texas' Most Wanted criminals are categorized as "White." Gotta boost those crime numbers!
  • Today's Toons 7/22/14

    07/22/2014 1:30:40 AM PDT · by pookie18 · 15 replies
    The Right Reasons ^ | 7/22/14 | pookie18
    Click on link.
  • Today's Toons 7/21/14

    07/21/2014 1:13:09 AM PDT · by pookie18 · 11 replies
    The Briefing Room ^ | 7/21/14 | pookie18
    Click on link.
  • This pets interrupting yoga video is what the internet was made for

    07/20/2014 1:25:56 AM PDT · by Slings and Arrows · 28 replies
    Metro [UK] ^ | 19 Jul 2014 | Siam Goorwich
    The internet is full of pets and also full of people doing showy-off yoga (Hilaria Balwin et al, we’re looking at you), and now the two have been hilariously brought together in video form. As anyone who owns a cat or dog will know, as soon as you try to do anything except lavish attention on them, they are overcome with jealousy and do all they can to sabotage it. And, while it’s deeply frustrating when your cat sits on your laptop’s keyboard, and just straight creepy when your dog insists on staring at you and your partner doing the...
  • Red Sox ball girl has priceless reaction after fielding Eric Hosmer's fair ball

    07/19/2014 10:40:05 PM PDT · by Michael.SF. · 19 replies
    Yahoo ^ | Mark Townsend
    It was the best and the worst of life as a major league ball girl all wrapped up in one play. On one hand, the ball girl stationed along the right field line at Fenway Park on Friday night got to be part of the action, impressively fielding Kansas City Royals slugger Eric Hosmer's well hit grounder with millions of people watching. On the other hand, she somehow missed the fact that the ball crossed over first base in fair territory, meaning she had just interfered with a live play.
  • George C Scott watches Hillary and Obama being interviewed on 60 Minutes.

    07/19/2014 8:59:11 PM PDT · by DemforBush · 18 replies
    youtube ^ | 7/19/2014 | n/a
    Pretty well done spoof in the style of those "Hitler finds out" clips.
  • 'Sniper van' found in Metairie leads to mystery with mob ties

    07/19/2014 6:13:12 PM PDT · by BBell · 42 replies
    NOLA.com | Times-Picayune ^ | July 18, 2014 | Andy Grimm
    Jefferson Parish sheriff's deputies found a racketeer and a riddle when they pulled over a van in Metairie two months ago. The racketeer was Joe Gagliano, the 55-year-old son of a reputed New Orleans mob underboss. The riddle was what he was doing in a van outfitted with what appeared to be gun ports, with a sniper rifle and silencer inside.Late one night a patrol deputy got a tip from a "credible and reliable source" that there was a van with stolen plates, driving on Metairie Road near the Orleans Parish line. When they pulled over the van, deputies found...
  • With a Grain of Salt: P.J. O'Rourke and Dave Barry in Conversation

    07/19/2014 12:53:40 PM PDT · by Slings and Arrows · 3 replies
    Omnivoracious ^ | January 27, 2014 | Robin A. Rothman
    In the first paragraph of the prologue to his new book, The Baby Boom: How It Got That Way... And It Wasn't My Fault... And I'll Never Do It Again, political humor writer P.J. O'Rourke declares in no uncertain terms that he is "full of crap." Similarly, in the introduction to his upcoming book You Can Date Boys When You're Forty, humor columnist Dave Barry explains that his book, despite its subtitle "Parenting and Other Topics He Knows Very Little About," is not about parenting. It's easy to imagine that when these two bestselling authors and longtime pals get together,...
  • North Korea furious over viral Chinese video that mocks Kim Jong-un (Humor)

    07/19/2014 10:05:30 AM PDT · by Dacula · 30 replies
    Liveleak ^ | Jul-19-2014 | Zhang from Suzhou
    North Korea furious over viral Chinese video that mocks Kim Jong-un North Korea has asked China to stop the spread of a video clip lampooning leader Kim Jong-un. According to a source in China on Tuesday, the North feels the clip, which shows Kim dancing and Kung-Fu fighting, "seriously compromises Kim's dignity and authority." Beijng was unable to oblige.
  • Be on the lookout for this red '51 Chevy...

    07/19/2014 9:41:18 AM PDT · by virgil283 · 20 replies
    "The United States Border Patrol is asking everyone to keep on the lookout for a red 1951 Chevy. They suspect this car is being used to smuggle illegal immigrants across the border from Mexico and into points along the U.S. border. If you see the vehicle pictured below and have reason to believe that it is the suspect vehicle, you are urged to contact your local police department or the U.S. Border Patrol."
  • Weird Al's 'Mandatory Fun' is a funny sort of masterpiece

    07/19/2014 9:30:46 AM PDT · by a fool in paradise · 38 replies
    LA Times ^ | July 15, 2014 | Randall Roberts
    The success of any great piece of art is determined by a few key factors. Does it accomplish what it sets out to achieve? Does it illuminate some essential aspect of the human condition? Does it change those who are exposed to it — rewire the circuitry, add new ideas that disturb the status quo? Does it build on the art of others, in the process crafting something profoundly new? Most important, does it advocate for the enduring relevance of tinfoil? Under these guidelines, Weird Al Yankovic's new "Mandatory Fun" is a stone cold masterpiece. Its goal remains the same...
  • ***THE OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD***

    07/18/2014 5:26:53 AM PDT · by Lucky9teen · 83 replies
    During a World Economic Summit, Barack Obama, Mexican President Felipe Calderón, Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin, and French President Nicolas Sarkozy are ceremonially riding in Japan's newest bullet train. As you might know all of these political leaders have big egos and this is what ensued. Barack Obama says, "This is a fine bottle of wine Nicolas". Upon hearing this, President Nicolas Sarkozy throws out a case of France's finest wine and says, "In France, fine wine is bountiful and plenty!"Not to be outdone by Vladimir Putin, who then throws out two cases of Russia's finest Vodka, "In Russia,...
  • Today's Toons 7/18/14

    07/18/2014 1:11:38 AM PDT · by pookie18 · 10 replies
    The Briefing Room ^ | 7/18/14 | pookie18
    Click on link.
  • “Weird Al” Yankovic - Handy (Parody of “Fancy”)

    07/17/2014 5:45:43 PM PDT · by ConjunctionJunction · 11 replies
    Yahoo! Screen ^ | July 17, 2014 | “Weird Al” Yankovic
    “Weird Al” Yankovic - Handy (Parody of “Fancy”) He’s so handy - everyone says so! “Weird Al” Yankovic shows off his skill set with a tool set in this parody of Iggy Azalea’s “Fancy.” Starring Al Yankovic, Eddie Pepitone, Justin Giddings, Ted Hollis. https://screen.yahoo.com/weird-al-yankovic-handy-parody-133702425.html
  • Among Todays Events&Current National/International Crises,Dem's Worried About Birth Control.

    07/17/2014 4:07:07 PM PDT · by Cruz_West_Paul2016 · 2 replies
    Welcome to the "World According To Liberals".Over the last 5 1/2 years we have seen never-ending unrest in the middle east along with monthly scandals and crises in the United States.And still to this day,our Liberal Leaders never show any concern.Birth Control,more like free-birth control to uneducated Democrats is still their Primary Concern!,and look at what happened today,horror in the skies of the Ukraine,and not one peep from Reid&Pelosi.Barry didn't have much to say either,just that it looks like a possible accident.Can you imagine what Harry,Nancy&Barry would of said if a plane got shot down right here in the states?
  • Ninja barn cats

    07/17/2014 7:23:31 AM PDT · by Twotone · 19 replies
    Craigslist ^ | July 13, 2014 | Unknown
    Sometimes, you just have to be honest enough to admit when you need help. I am finally willing to admit defeat in my war against the on-going squirrel/mouse/vole/gopher apocalypse, and start a search for highly qualified, experienced SEAL/Green Beret/Ranger/ Pararescue barn cats. My front yard looks like the post Shock and Awe postcards from Baghdad, and there are more tunnels than the Viet Cong dug. The sound of rodent laughter keeps me awake at night.
  • Today's Toons 7/17/14

    07/17/2014 1:16:31 AM PDT · by pookie18 · 13 replies
    The Right Reasons ^ | 7/17/14 | pookie18
    Click on link.
  • BIZARRE: Joaquin Phoenix's forehead looks like another face

    07/16/2014 7:03:49 PM PDT · by Extremely Extreme Extremist · 12 replies
    ABC13.COM ^ | 16 JULY 2014 | ABC 13.COM
    Another fascinating, hilarious and bizarre contribution to internet culture: who's that face in Joaquin Phoenix's face? A YouTube uploader, with an aptly titled username, 'Joaquin Forehead,' published this recording of a scene from the film, Her, to illustrate his absurd discovery: there's a smiling face within Joaquin Phoenix's forehead.
  • Exclusive "Weird Al" Yankovic Music Video: FOIL (Parody of "Royals" by Lorde)

    07/16/2014 5:11:53 PM PDT · by ConjunctionJunction · 29 replies
    YouTube ^ | July 16, 2014 | "Weird Al" Yankovic
    Exclusive "Weird Al" Yankovic Music Video: FOIL (Parody of "Royals" by Lorde)
  • The 5 Most Dangerous Guns in America (This article is so stupid it hurts my feelings.)

    07/16/2014 6:05:37 AM PDT · by servo1969 · 53 replies
    Rollingstone.com ^ | 7-14-2014 | Kristen Gwynne
    Contrary to what those who defend the right to own high-powered assault rifles believe, not all guns are created equal. Due to a combination of availability, portability and criminal usage the following five types of guns are the country's most dangerous. Using firearm trace data from the ATF, as well as FBI homicide records, we determined the types of guns most often recovered from crime scenes and/or used in murders. The numbers are stark: According to the FBI's 2012 Crime in the US data, nearly 70 percent of homicides for which the FBI received weapons data involved the use of...
  • Today's Toons 7/16/14

    07/16/2014 3:22:57 AM PDT · by pookie18 · 7 replies
    The Right Reasons ^ | 7/16/14 | pookie18
    Click on link.
  • Shart Week drops on Comedy Central

    07/15/2014 8:21:27 PM PDT · by Hillarys Gate Cult · 15 replies
    Orlando Sentinel ^ | July 15, 2014 | Hal Boedeker
    In a spoof of Shark Week, Comedy Central will deliver Shart Week. Yes, what a difference one letter can make. "It's gonna be a gas," Comedy Central announced Tuesday, describing it a "weeklong excrement extravaganza." The #ShartWeek programming starts at 8 p.m. Aug. 3, and the theme will be carried through episodes of "Tosh.0," "Futurama," "South Park," "Workaholics," "Chappelle's Show," "Key & Peele" and other series. The week concludes Aug. 9 with 11.5 hours of "poop-themed programming" from 12:30 p.m. to midnight, Comedy Central said. Viewers of "@midnight" can expect Shart Week-themed #HashtagWars segments.
  • BOTTLE GAME FOR BELLA THE DOG

    07/15/2014 8:21:01 PM PDT · by woofie · 11 replies
    I will be making one of these for my dog and I might need one of my own This could make a lot of dogs very happy
  • Today's Toons 7/15/14

    07/15/2014 1:20:49 AM PDT · by pookie18 · 12 replies
    The Right Reasons ^ | 7/15/14 | pookie18
    Click on link.
  • Mariner trying to sail NW Passage rescued after sailboat gets stuck in sea ice near Barrow

    07/14/2014 12:12:35 PM PDT · by citizen · 22 replies
    Alaska Dispatch News ^ | Julu 13, 2014 | Michelle Theriault Boots
    A man attempting to sail his 36-foot sailboat through the Northwest Passage was rescued by a U.S. Coast Guard icebreaker Saturday after his boat became trapped in Arctic sea ice northeast of Barrow. The Coast Guard cutter Healy broke a 12-mile path through ice to reach the sailboat Altan Girl about 40 miles from Barrow, the Coast Guard said in a news release Sunday. The Healy was diverted from a research mission to respond to the sailboat. The Coast Guard did not release the rescued man’s name, but the Nome Nugget’s June 26 “Dock Walk” column described the Altan Girl...
  • Today's Toons 7/14/14

    07/14/2014 1:15:52 AM PDT · by pookie18 · 15 replies
    The Briefing Room ^ | 7/14/14 | pookie18
    Click on link.
  • A DRAMATIC SURPRISE ON A QUIET SQUARE (VIDEOS)

    07/13/2014 4:04:47 PM PDT · by Jack Hydrazine · 6 replies
    GoogTube ^ | 11APR2012 | Turner/Time Warner
    To launch the high quality TV channel TNT in Belgium we placed a big red push button on an average Flemish square of an average Flemish town. A sign with the text "Push to add drama" invited people to use the button. And then we waited... Discover here what happened or visit http://www.tntdrama.com for more info. First it happened in Belgium. Then again in the Netherlands.
  • Dispatch from the Future (Satire)

    07/13/2014 3:54:17 PM PDT · by Ellendra · 4 replies
    JPFO ^ | 7-12-2014 | Claire Wolfe
    NOTE: The following document was found in the ruins of the Mount Weather complex in the year C.E. 2715 and has been in the keeping of the staff of the Interglobal History Museum since then. Although our scholars and scientists are still analyzing this material, it is believed to date from the era of Malia Rodham-Bloomberg (reigned C.E. 2044-2067) or her successor Mitt Kennedy Bush (reigned C.E. 2067-?). Below is our translation. -------------------- REPORT TO THE NATION ON THE EFFECTIVENESS OF GUN CONTROL By the Blue-Ribbon Panel on the Current Crisis BACKGROUND: Following the Sunnyside Nursery School Massacre and similar...
  • Dorothy Gray – Radioactive Cold Cream

    07/13/2014 3:21:06 AM PDT · by WhiskeyX · 15 replies
    Best Old Commercials ^ | current | Dorothy Gray Ltd.
    Ah, the 1950′s. Scares of Commies, Atomic bombs, and blacks. However, we weren’t so scared of radiation, even rubbing it right into our skin. Dorothy Gray was the best cold cream at cleaning your face because it was imbued with the power of radiation, which would melt the dirty right out of your pores. Hilarious they even test the cold cream on the model’s face by reading it with a Geiger Counter. I’d call this product “Snake Oil” except I’m pretty convinced that it actually did work. Radioactive products in the 1940s and 1950s were considered modern, powerful, wave-of-the-future type...
  • Hobby Lobby, Pay for my Birth Control

    07/12/2014 10:13:35 PM PDT · by ReformationFan · 6 replies
    You Tube ^ | 7-12-14 | Julie Borowski
    This video is supposed to be satire about the liberal reaction to the Hobby Lobby decision but it sounds almost like an accurate depiction.
  • The Common Core Movie: "Despicable Them"

    07/12/2014 5:33:35 PM PDT · by BruceDeitrickPrice · 3 replies
    RantRave.com ^ | June 29, 2014 | Bruce Deitrick Price
    Okay, this is the day I do a favor for Universal Pixs. Here, free of charge, is a bold new concept for a cartoon action comedy. Not just a concept, mind you, but a high concept. That's what Hollywood loves. Okay here it is. You have this gang of no-goodniks who want to destroy the public schools in Typical Town, USA. Not just destroy the schools but get rich for doing it! Crime-wise, that's thinking big-big-big. In the opening scenes, we can clearly see that these are bad hombres with cold hearts. Their crooked grins suggest a lifetime of larceny...
  • The Obama Mash (The Monster Mash) [YouTube Parody 1:40}

    07/12/2014 11:34:48 AM PDT · by LibWhacker · 3 replies
    Watch it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=_53pGUr0SdM
  • A Whole Bunch Of People On Facebook Thought Steven Spielberg Killed A Real Dinosaur

    07/12/2014 9:09:11 AM PDT · by Rusty0604 · 78 replies
    Buzzfeed ^ | 07/11/2014 | Luke Lewis
    Fact check: The triceratops became extinct 66 million years ago. The director of Jurassic Park has never shot one for sport. Internet humourist Jay Branscomb posted it on Facebook with the caption: “Disgraceful photo of recreational hunter happily posing next to a triceratops he just slaughtered. Please share so the world can name and shame this despicable man.” A lot of people didn’t get the joke, and thought Spielberg really had shot a dinosaur. This person called him an “inhumane prick”... “Steven Spielberg, I’m disappointed in you. I’m not watching any of your movies again ANIMAL KILLER.” “Disgraceful. No wonder...
  • Colorado Recreational Pot Dales Fip for 1st Time

    07/12/2014 7:25:31 AM PDT · by GSWarrior · 33 replies
    Krextv.com ^ | 7/11/14 | Kristina kuestner
    <p>DENVER (AP)- Colorado sold less recreational pot in May than in April, the first month-to-month sales decline for the newly legal drug.</p> <p>Tax collections reported by the Colorado Department of Revenue this week showed that Colorado sold about $21 million of recreational pot in May. That was down slightly from April, when the 4/20 marijuana holiday was credited in part for a boost in recreational sales to $22 million.</p>
  • Obama says Tear Down this Wall

    07/11/2014 7:17:08 PM PDT · by MeshugeMikey · 9 replies
    townhall.com ^ | July 11, 2014 | Glenn McCoy
  • The BEST Obituary EVER

    07/11/2014 11:19:05 AM PDT · by Don W · 15 replies
    Victoria Daily Times-Colonist ^ | July 6,7- 2014 | George's daughter
    FERGUSON, George What to say about George? Certainly, no one could accuse him of having been a loving son, brother, or father. He'd gladly have stolen the shirt off your back and he was generous to a fault with other people's money. Was he a small-time con-man with grandiose schemes? Probably. But another view of him is that he was the most exciting member of his family and of the families he married into. He was a poor man's rhetorician who beguiled certain woman into buying into his promises and dreams. This latter view is lent some support by the...
  • ***THE OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD***

    07/11/2014 5:57:18 AM PDT · by Lucky9teen · 71 replies
    Cheer Up the Lonely Day When : July 11th Cheer Up the Lonely Day is an opportunity to make a lonely person happy. Any time you can make someone happy, you've done a good thing, and should be proud of yourself. Lonely people have few friends and loved ones. They may have lost loved ones over the years. They may be elderly. They see people on an infrequent basis. Spend some time today cheering up lonely people. It's easy to do.....just spend some time with them. When you visit, bring happy things to talk about. Keep the conversation upbeat,...
  • Today's Toons 7/11/14

    07/11/2014 1:24:48 AM PDT · by pookie18 · 15 replies
    The Briefing Room ^ | 7/11/14 | pookie18
    Click on link.
  • Thursday Humor: The New US Tax Return

    07/10/2014 4:16:48 PM PDT · by Lorianne · 1 replies
    Zero Hedge ^ | 10 July 2014 | Tyler Durden
  • Greg Gutfeld's poem about President Obama and photo ops

    07/10/2014 2:52:36 PM PDT · by Lucky9teen · 5 replies
    A little Dr. Seuss from Greg Gutfeld on The Five, about Obama's claim that he didn't want a photo op re: the border. Click link to see video of Greg's poem.
  • A Tale of Two Cities (startling comparison between Chicago and Toronto)

    07/10/2014 12:00:55 PM PDT · by seacapn · 31 replies
    Online viral image ^ | Early Juny, 2014 | N/A; online image
    I thought this was kind of amusing...
  • Vanity: Spoiler Alert: Last minute of the new Dan Rather movie revealed.

    07/10/2014 11:15:49 AM PDT · by DManA · 13 replies
    Selfie | 7/10/14 | Selfie
    Don't ask me how I got it but this is the last minute of Redford's new Rather movie. "LOOK! It's old man Rather!" "ZOIKS! "That's right. I made it all up. I wanted to scare folks away from George Bush. And I would have gotten away with it to if it wasn't for you nosy Freepers! [General Laughter] [cut to scene of front door of CBS headquarters. Rather comes flying out and lands in the gutter. Seen rubbing his behind. ] [Closing theme rises]
  • Why is Chuck Norris trending in Argentina? (Chuck Facts Alert)

    07/10/2014 7:10:33 AM PDT · by goldstategop · 12 replies
    BBC News ^ | 07/10/2014 | BBC News
    Chuck Norris is trending in Argentina after the country's World Cup semi-final victory against Holland. So what has the US actor and martial artist got to do with football? Famed for being the ultimate action man, Chuck Norris has inspired long lists of 'facts' about what a tough guy he is. The lists have been entertaining people for years. Now Argentina midfielder Javier Mascherano is getting the Chuck Norris treatment on social media after he played strongly despite sustaining a head injury early in the game. The hashtag #maschefacts is being used with posts to describe all of the awesome...