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Humor (General/Chat)

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  • Jimmy Carter unveils truth about Israel

    07/09/2014 4:14:09 PM PDT · by sopwith · 11 replies
    you tube ^ | ?? | msnbc
    ok Carter is still a commie
  • Obama wants 4 Billion Dollars... I know where he can find it! ~ Vanity

    07/09/2014 2:50:23 PM PDT · by GraceG · 8 replies
    Here is their address: Chamber of Commerce of the United States of America 1615 H Street, NW Washington, DC 20062-2000 Here is their phone number: Main Number: 202-659-6000 Customer Service: 1-800-638-6582 Maybe Obama can take his Phone and call them up and ask for the 3.7 Billion dollars needed for the Dreamers... He can even lend his pen to the Chamber Cronies so they can write the check for him too... https://www.uschamber.com/immigration Screw the Chamber of Cronies, they wanted this so damned bad let them pay for the mess they along with Obama helped to create.
  • Cover your eyes! Virals about Brazil's capitulation go mad within minutes

    07/09/2014 6:34:18 AM PDT · by C19fan · 37 replies
    UK Daily Mail ^ | July 9, 2014 | John Drayton
    It was a matter of minutes before the internet was overloaded with viral images mocking Brazil for their 7-1 defeat by Germany. Christ the Redeemer, the iconic statue of Jesus Christ in Rio de Janeiro, is normally seen as an image of hope - but the famous landmark was quickly photo-shopped at the expense of the defeated host nation, following their semi-final humiliation. Here are some of the best images from across the web...
  • Today's Toons 7/9/14

    07/09/2014 1:21:21 AM PDT · by pookie18 · 17 replies
    The Right Reasons ^ | 7/9/14 | pookie18
    Click on link.
  • Today's Toons 7/8/14

    07/08/2014 1:21:16 AM PDT · by pookie18 · 11 replies
    The Right Reasons ^ | 7/8/14 | pookie18
    Click on link.
  • Fat City kidnapping suspect stands trial this week at Jefferson Parish Courthouse(mugshot)

    07/07/2014 3:43:16 PM PDT · by BBell · 9 replies
    NOLA.com | The Times-Picayune ^ | 7/7/14 | Paul Purpura
    A Kenner man accused of abducting a 7-year-old girl from her Fat City apartment complex and sexually abusing her before releasing her in Metairie last year, hopes to convince a jury this week that he was temporarily insane at the time. Steven D. Carter, 30, an electrician who had no such crimes in his background before his arrest, is standing trial on charges of aggravated kidnapping and aggravated rape, in the June 5, 2013 incident.Jury selection began about 10:45 a.m., in 24th Judicial District Judge Scott Schlegel's court. The trial is expected to last at least through Wednesday.
  • Today's Toons 7/7/14

    07/07/2014 1:30:31 AM PDT · by pookie18 · 7 replies
    The Briefing Room ^ | 7/7/14 | pookie18
    Click on link.
  • Lovebird crafts new paper tail feathers for herself...

    07/06/2014 4:05:16 PM PDT · by Twotone · 14 replies
    Wimp.com ^ | Unknown | Unknown
    Bibi the lovebird decides she needs some new tail feathers and goes about expertly shredding paper to add them to her rump. Actually, this is typical nesting behavior and she's saving those pieces for a potential nest. Either way, it's fun to watch.
  • I Started a Joke

    07/05/2014 1:30:25 PM PDT · by nickcarraway · 10 replies
    UCSC humor study literally pulls legs and yanks chains to measure brain’s responses The physical act of pulling someone’s leg can make you a funnier person. At least for a short period of time following the act, says Patrawat Samermit, a Ph.D student of cognitive psychology at UCSC. The same is true for yanking someone’s chain. Samermit, who has ambitions to be the next Margaret Cho, is not pulling our leg (although she’d clearly like to). Her recent humor cognition study used mannequins to find out how enacting embodied metaphors of humor may affect humor production. After the yanking and...
  • "Ludlow Kissel and the Dago Bomb that Struck Back" [Jean Shepherd's July 4th story, a free download]

    07/04/2014 6:40:02 AM PDT · by Rodamala · 19 replies
    recording of Shep's WOR New York radio show ^ | July 4, 1967? | Jean Sheperd
    My 4th of July FR Tradition...Audio at link. http://www.snuhfiles.com/sound/jean-shepherd-lud_kissell.mp3
  • Today's Toons 7/4/14

    07/04/2014 4:34:24 AM PDT · by pookie18 · 8 replies
    The Briefing Room ^ | 7/4/14 | pookie18
    Click on link.
  • Joan Rivers Calls President “Gay,” Michelle Obama “Tr*nny” — Watch Video Here

    07/03/2014 7:13:05 PM PDT · by stuck_in_new_orleans · 112 replies
    So Joan called Obama "Gay" and Mooshell "a tranny". Because she insulted a Dem president she will likely be fired. http://www.gossipcop.com/joan-rivers-michelle-obama-tranny-president-gay/
  • Hillary-Inspired Musical in the Works (another sign of the apocalypse)

    07/03/2014 7:08:37 PM PDT · by dynachrome · 41 replies
    New York Observer ^ | 7-3-14 | Meredith Carey
    "We’re the sisters who never stop... It’s time for women to be on top.” “A Woman on Top,” a new production based loosely on the life of Hillary Clinton, is making its way to the stage. “I always admired Hillary. I have even more respect after doing research for this show,” composer Rhonda Kess told the NY Daily News. “I’ve always been drawn to stories of women who swam upstream.”
  • Obama Celebrates Independence Day by Murdering Bald Eagles

    07/03/2014 12:42:01 PM PDT · by Diana in Wisconsin · 17 replies
    The Washington Free Beacon ^ | July 4, 2014 | Andrew Stiles
    President Obama will celebrate the 4th of July weekend in part by ritually sacrificing majestic bald eagles on the altar of “green energy.” Liberals might call that progress. Real Americans would rightly call it what it is: bird murder. Last week, the Obama administration gave a California wind farm permission to kill bald eagles with impunity for up to 30 years. The birds are supposed to be protected under federal law; without a waiver from the president, killing them would result in six-figure fines and up to 18 months in prison per eagle. The move is just the latest escalation...
  • B-1 Bomber for Sale

    07/03/2014 6:54:20 AM PDT · by NKP_Vet · 25 replies
    http://www.ar15.com ^ | May 12, 2014
    About 14 years ago a B-1 bomber was in here (Billings , MT) doing practice approaches and touch and goes. On one of the landings the pilot sets his brakes on fire. He taxis in, and the airport parks him on a taxiway and then puts cones around him until parts and mechanics can be brought in from Ellsworth AFB the next day. The next day is a Saturday, which doesn’t have much going on, so we get to laughing in the tower that maybe somebody should hang a For Sale sign on the plane. We convince one of our...
  • Att: Suggestions needed to take advantage of created crisis

    07/03/2014 6:40:50 AM PDT · by StaffiT
    The People’s Cube ^ | 7/1/2014 | Comrade Šterpin
    Tovarishchi, we are in the midst of sheer genius .. well semi- sheer genius since comrade Botox was not the first to put Forward such a plan. Comrades Cloward & Piven were some of the first to propose creating a crisis and using it for crass political gain and Genosse Hitler was one to use Reichstag fire crisis to seize power. But in the case of Madame Botox, we have a modern day example of a naked attempt to do this in front of our very eyes and ears.. {apologies to mind’s eye using word ‘naked’ in same sentence...
  • Family Problems

    07/03/2014 5:42:49 AM PDT · by NKP_Vet · 12 replies
    July 3, 2014
    Two men met at a bus stop and struck up a conversation. One of them kept complaining of family problems. Finally, the other man said, "You think you have family problems? Listen to my situation. A few years ago, I met a young widow with a grown-up daughter, and we got married. Later my father married my stepdaughter. That made my stepdaughter my stepmother and my father became my stepson. Also, my wife became mother-in-law of her father-in-law. "Then the daughter of my wife, my stepmother, had a son. This boy was my half-brother because he was my father's son,...
  • ***THE OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD***

    07/03/2014 5:31:34 AM PDT · by Lucky9teen · 103 replies
    Happy Independence Day FReeper FRiends!!!I am posting this on Thursday so we can have some silliness before the Holiday weekend.  Today is the anniversary of the day America broke up with England  To celebrate, I found a little song someone wrote on Tumblr:Cuz if you liked it then you shouldn’t have put your rules on itIf you liked it then you shouldn’t have put that tax on itDon’t be mad once you see our freedom hitIf you liked it then you shouldn’t have badly governed itWo oh oh, oh oh oh oh oh oh, oh oh oh, wo oh...
  • Artist Tracey Emin whoops as her "My Bed" fetches over $4 million

    07/03/2014 4:07:57 AM PDT · by Dr. Sivana · 21 replies
    reuters.com ^ | 7/2/2014 | Sarah Young
    <p>The auction house said it was very rare for an artist to attend an auction, and it demonstrated the connection Emin felt to the highly personal work.</p> <p>The price reached for Emin's work, described by the auction house as an iconic piece of 1990s British art, quadrupled her previous sale price record, but Christie's said the market was not overheating.</p>
  • Today's Toons 7/3/14

    07/03/2014 1:35:25 AM PDT · by pookie18 · 15 replies
    The Right Reasons ^ | 7/3/14 | pookie18
    Click on link.
  • Woman Realizes Her Life’s Passion Is Bridesmaiding, Takes Out Craigslist Ad

    07/02/2014 6:38:42 PM PDT · by nickcarraway · 13 replies
    New York Magazine ^ | Maggie Lange
    An accomplished friend and 26-year-old living in New York has realized her vocation: She was made to bridesmaid. She was born to bridesmaid. Bridesmaid she shall, until death does everyone part. This tremendous wedding-party member and recent entrepreneur has taken out a Craigslist ad to describe her skills and services. But why might one want a Professional Bridesmaid and Hired Friend (trademark pending)? Because a master can boast years of honed skills! This particular wedding virtuoso cites her award-winning skills in: • Holding up the 18 layers of your dress so that you can pee with ease on your wedding...
  • Today's Toons 7/2/14

    07/02/2014 1:20:55 AM PDT · by pookie18 · 11 replies
    The Right Reasons ^ | 7/2/14 | pookie18
    Click on link.
  • Actor Bob Hastings dies at 89: Star of 'McHale's Navy' began his career on the radio at an early age

    07/01/2014 8:20:20 PM PDT · by EveningStar · 34 replies
    The Burbank Leader ^ | July 1, 2014 | Alicia Banks
    Robert "Bob" Francis Hastings, Sr., a radio actor who found his footing in television, notably for portraying "yes man" Lt. Elroy Carpenter on the popular sitcom "McHale's Navy," has died. He was 89. Hastings died Monday at his Burbank home. He had pancreatic cancer, his third bout with the illness in 15 years.
  • Today's Toons 7/1/14

    07/01/2014 1:23:11 AM PDT · by pookie18 · 13 replies
    The Right Reasons ^ | 7/1/14 | pookie18
    Click on link.
  • Utah man sentenced to jail for seat-saving assault at a Mormon church

    06/30/2014 10:18:58 PM PDT · by Morgana · 14 replies
    salt lake tribune ^ | Jessica Miller
    Ogden • A Plain City man accused of beating a fellow churchgoer last year at a Mormon baby blessing and mission farewell was sentenced Wednesday to 30 days in jail. Wayne Dodge, 52, pleaded guilty last month in Ogden’s 2nd District Court to one count of class B misdemeanor assault. One charge of felony aggravated assault was dismissed, according to court records. Judge W. Brent West ordered Dodge to complete an anger management class as part of a 12-month probation. The judge also ordered Dodge to pay a $550 fine and have no contact with the victim. Dodge, who faced...
  • Why 9-5 Wont Work For Millennials

    06/30/2014 3:55:31 PM PDT · by dynachrome · 46 replies
    Linkedin ^ | 6-30-14 | Kern Carter
    My mother is sixty something and anxiously counting down the days till she could retire her nurses uniform for good. She's been working consistently for 40 years, and when she speaks of retiring I can sense relief still mixed with a bit of anxiety. The sense of relief is obvious, but it boggles me that after 40 years of dedicated work, rarely calling in sick and in fact winning awards for her diligence and treatment of patients, that my mother is still concerned about whether or not she will be financially secure once she calls it quits. I see the...
  • Other Women Health items that Evil Corporate Women-hating Businesses deny every day

    06/30/2014 1:03:11 PM PDT · by fayco9 · 12 replies
    Me
    Today, the Supreme Court discriminated against women, when it couldn’t force business to provide birth control to women. We all know birth control is accentual to women’s health. They will DIE without it. It doesn’t matter that women have lived without it for thousands of years and survived. No, it is an absolute necessity. It is absolutely megatuvely ultraly impossible to get birth control any other way. However, it is very important to recognize that birth control isn’t the only method big business wants to deny women. Following is a list of extremely important benefits, that we cannot live without,...
  • Obama actually refuses to use his pen and his phone to help women ~ Vanity

    06/30/2014 10:37:47 AM PDT · by GraceG · 9 replies
    6/30/2014 | GraceG
    "White House spokesman Josh Earnest said Monday that women should make personal health decisions for themselves. Earnest said the White House is looking into how many women could be affected by the decision. He said Congress should take action to assist women affected by the decision." Ok, Well here’s an idea for Obama.... Maybe you could use your damned pen and phone to order the FDA to make Birth Control pills OTC (over the Counter) that way the price of the birth control pills would be the same price of an aspirin or any other over the counter pain pill....
  • Today's Toons 6/30/14

    06/30/2014 1:16:14 AM PDT · by pookie18 · 14 replies
    The Briefing Room ^ | 6/30/14 | pookie18
    Click on link.
  • Perspective (vanity humor)

    06/28/2014 6:30:32 AM PDT · by Leaning Right · 28 replies
    from an email
    You may have heard on the news about a Southern California man who was put under 72-hour psychiatric observation when it was found he owned 100 guns and allegedly had 100,000 rounds of ammunition stored in his home. The house also featured a secret escape tunnel.
  • Nine Ways That Chicago Is Like 'Star Wars'

    06/27/2014 3:49:11 PM PDT · by nickcarraway · 7 replies
    Chicago Tribune ^ | June 27, 2014 | Mark Jacob
    George Lucas, creator of "Star Wars," announced this week that he had chosen Chicago as the home of his new museum. Here's how the city and the movie series are remarkably alike: 1. An invisible power influences events, sometimes with negative results. In "Star Wars," it's The Force. In Chicago, it's The Clout. 2. Robots engage in predictable, often inane dialogue. In "Star Wars," there are R2-D2 and C-3PO. In Chicago, there are TV news anchors. 3. Story of a father and a son has great significance. In "Star Wars," it's Luke Skywalker and Darth Vader. In Chicago, it's the...
  • Joke Pushes Man to Marry Again

    06/27/2014 3:29:47 PM PDT · by nickcarraway · 16 replies
    Emirates 24/7 ^ | Thursday, June 26, 2014
    A married young Saudi man attending his sister’s wedding accepted a bet by friends and jokingly asked a man at the party to let him marry his daughter. To his shock, the man quickly agreed and called a Maazoun (marriage performer) to finalize the contract as friends stared in disbelief. “The young man then said he was joking and that he does not have money to pay dowry…but the man told him he would let him marry his daughter even for SRone,” the Arabic language daily Jazan News said in a report from the southern Jazan province. “The young man...
  • Porcupine puppy

    06/27/2014 5:27:50 AM PDT · by ABN 505 · 23 replies
    The Alaska Wildlife Conservation Center adopts a five-year-old porcupine that someone had been keeping as a pet. Because of his gentle nature and love for human contact, everyone treats the porcupine like a prickly puppy dog.
  • ***THE OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD***

    06/27/2014 5:21:12 AM PDT · by Lucky9teen · 49 replies
    Random Silliness anyone? Fed Up With "Frozen," 2 Dads Perform Parody Song   A good Samaritan was walking home late one night when he came upon this drunk on the sidewalk. Wanting to help, he asked the drunk "do you live here?""Yep"."Would you like me to help you upstairs?""Yep".When they got up on the second floor, the good person asked "Is this your floor?""Yep".Then the good Samaritan got to thinking that maybe he didn't want to face the man's irate and tired wife because she may think he was the one who got the man drunk. So, he opened the first...
  • Today's Toons 6/27/14

    06/27/2014 3:32:01 AM PDT · by pookie18 · 7 replies
    The Briefing Room ^ | 6/27/14 | pookie18
    Click on link.
  • Caption This Ice Cream Eatin' POTUS

    06/26/2014 4:45:11 PM PDT · by llevrok · 32 replies
  • Archie Bunker Quotes

    06/26/2014 1:30:49 PM PDT · by Veggie Todd · 45 replies
    Internet Movie Database ^ | Unknown | Archie Bunker
    Funny quotes from All In The Family.
  • Car Crashes Into San Jose Salon

    06/26/2014 12:20:42 PM PDT · by nickcarraway · 19 replies
    A car crashed into a San Jose salon Wednesday night. Officials said the vehicle went straight through the Endless Beauty Salon's front window at about 8:30 p.m. Emergency crews responded to the scene, but there were no injuries in the accident. The incident occurred at a shopping center on Berryessa Road and Lunday Avenue in East San Jose.
  • Hillary Clinton reveals what it's like to be poor in America

    06/26/2014 8:41:24 AM PDT · by laotzu · 28 replies
    The Peoples Cube ^ | 6/9/14 | Opiate of the People
    Hillary Clinton has served America for decades; in January 1993, she made history as she became the country's first co-president along with her husband, Bill. After her tour in the White House ended, she answered the call from her adopted state of New York and voluntarily gave up a lucrative career trading cattle futures to act as one of only two US senators from that state. In 2008, after tirelessly devoting herself to helping Barack Obama become America's best president, she looked forward to retiring to a quiet life in a small cottage somewhere. Once again her country called, pleading...
  • Boots on the Ground [Mark Steyn on the World Cup]

    06/26/2014 4:38:05 AM PDT · by Dr. Sivana · 25 replies
    SteynOnline.com ^ | 6/25/2014 | Mark Steyn
    But, aside from the music, the American contribution to soccer has been minimal, and American interest in it even, er, minimaller. Every four years, the same bien-pensants who urge the Administration to be more "multilateral" and to work through the UN also commend the virtues of the World Cup: the game is supposedly more poetic than American sports, as subtle and nuanced as French foreign policy. But Americans like their international competitions to be international in the sense of the current "international coalition against terror" at Kandahar airbase - that's to say, overwhelmingly American but with a few token Canadians....
  • Today's Toons 6/26/14

    06/26/2014 1:18:49 AM PDT · by pookie18 · 13 replies
    The Right Reasons ^ | 6/26/14 | pookie18
    Click on link.
  • What Better Time For A Jimmy Kimmel "Dumb Question Summit"On Hollywood Streets.

    06/25/2014 6:56:42 PM PDT · by Cruz_West_Paul2016 · 2 replies
    With up to 40% of Americans not engaged with local and international events,this would be a great weekend to send a Jimmy Kimmel street actor/reporter to Los Angeles.The outrageous questions he/she would ask of the uninformed would be endless.Can you imagine some young liberal being asked "How Do You Feel About The Iraq Army Invading Russia,and now President Putin is contemplating surrendering being his army is too small to defeat the Iraqian's?,and "As The Nation Of Stanastan Is Invading Iran,Do You Think Secretary Of Defense Kathleen Sebelius Should Send 95,000 troops there to fight off the enemy?
  • Luis Suarez bites opponent at World Cup, hilarious memes follow

    06/25/2014 4:11:14 PM PDT · by 1rudeboy · 24 replies
    New York Daily News ^ | June 24, 2014
    Unfortunate as it was to see Luis Suarez revert to his old ways and bite Giorgio Chiellini during Uruguay's 1-0 win over Italy at the World Cup, it did inspire plenty of hilarious memes in honor of soccer's most famous flesh eater. With Tuesday's shameful display, Suarez, who now faces disciplinary hearings, became a three-time biting offender and now risks a two-year ban as a result.   That's no laughing matter, but these Suarez-inspired memes are.
  • It wasn’t as if Suarez bit a child, say experts (World Cup)

    06/25/2014 12:23:48 PM PDT · by Eurotwit · 9 replies
    The Daily Mash ^ | 25-06-14 | The Daily Mash
    EXPERTS have stressed that Luis Suarez bit a large Italian footballer and not a tiny child. With many calling for the Uruguayan striker to be jailed, doctors said Suarez’s victim had already made a full recovery, despite pretending to be dead. Sports injury specialist, Dr Martin Bishop, said: “The key difference between biting an opponent and going in hard with your studs up is that biting them is much, much more interesting. “The actual biting injury is usually pretty mild. Mr Suarez is a medium-sized Uruguayan, not a Sumatran tiger.” Dr Bishop added: “If Mr Suarez had ran towards the...
  • Today's Toons 6/25/14

    06/25/2014 1:20:53 AM PDT · by pookie18 · 13 replies
    The Right Reasons ^ | 6/25/14 | pookie18
    Click on link.
  • Germany To Leave Its Gold In Federal Reserve

    06/24/2014 7:01:15 PM PDT · by RetiredTexasVet · 19 replies
    Retired Texas Vet | 6-24-14 | Retired Texas Vet
    Angela Merkel stated today that Germany would leave its 1,500 tonnes of gold in the Federal Reserve vault in NYC for continued safekeeping. Proponents for repatriation of German gold were outraged that Angie would double-cross them after initially agreeing to have at least 674 tonnes of gold repatriated. Insiders confirmed that only 5 tonnes of gold were repatriated before shipments were inexplicably stopped. The current Federal Reserve Chairthing, Janet Yelling, announced today that the former Federal Reserve Chairthing, Ben Bernanke's computer hard drive had crashed destroying the inventory of gold on deposit with the Fed. Shockingly, the six backup copies...
  • Today's Toons 6/24/14

    06/24/2014 1:18:31 AM PDT · by pookie18 · 17 replies
    The Right Reasons ^ | 6/24/14 | pookie18
    Click on link.
  • Feds Research Breeding Sheep With Lower Methane-Emitting Flatulence

    06/23/2014 5:18:51 PM PDT · by llevrok · 20 replies
    Daily Caller ^ | 6/23/2014
    The U.S. government funded research into methane emissions from sheep digestive systems — flatulence and burps — to see why some sheep produce more of the greenhouse gas than others. Researchers with the Energy Department’s Joint Genome Institute wanted to find out exactly why animals of the same species produce different levels of methane. The ultimate hope of the the research is to find ways to breed livestock that produce less methane when they pass gas. “The deep sequencing study contributes to this breeding program by defining the microbial contribution to the methane trait, which can be used in addition...
  • Duke of Edinburgh's best gaffes

    06/23/2014 9:56:04 AM PDT · by Dallas59 · 19 replies
    The Telegraph ^ | 2/13/2013 | The Telegraph
    Here is a selection of his most notable quotes as he offers his own unique advice to people all over the world. 1963 Speaking about the rate of British tax, he said: "All money nowadays seems to be produced with a natural homing instinct for the Treasury." 1965 On seeing an exhibition of "primitive" Ethiopian art, he muttered: "It looks like the kind of thing my daughter would bring back from her school art lessons."
  • Las Vegas entertainment legend Steve Rossi dies of cancer at 82 (Allen & Rossi)

    06/23/2014 9:11:26 AM PDT · by EveningStar · 4 replies
    Las Vegas Sun ^ | June 22, 2014 | John Katsilometes
    Steve Rossi was never at the end of his story. He always had one more tale to tell, another tantalizing anecdote, more delicious detail to unveil about his time as a member of the legendary comedy team Allen & Rossi. “There are things I’ve never told anyone about when we were on ‘The Ed Sullivan Show’ with The Beatles that nobody has heard,” Rossi would say in the later months of his life, as if bracing for a big finish. “We experienced so much. We’ll get together soon and talk about it.” An entertainer with deceptive range and a magnetic...