Humor (General/Chat)

Brevity: Headers | « Text »
  • They Can Prop Up Hillary All They Want Tonight,But They Can't Fix Her Voice.

    09/26/2016 5:11:15 AM PDT · by TrumpTrain_VS_TheClintonToilet · 30 replies
    So what are they going to do? Make Hillary seem five inches taller than she actually is? Does anyone really believe that's going to help her win the debate? Well what about her voice? All Hillary has to do is speak and the average viewer tonight will then have second thoughts about seeing her as President. Hillary is already considered boring/unlikable. And like they have been saying all year, the less we see of her, the better her polls are, right? And when she does speak on live TV/Rally, her poll numbers go into a free fall.
  • Today's Toons 9/26/16

    09/26/2016 1:23:40 AM PDT · by pookie18 · 1 replies
    The Briefing Room ^ | 9/26/16 | pookie18
    Click on link
  • Why They Won't Make Jokes About Hillary Clinton

    09/25/2016 6:46:38 PM PDT · by garjog · 14 replies
    Youtube ^ | Sept. 22, 2016 | Jeff Dunham
    Achmed the Dead Terrorist, Walter, Peanut and Bubba J have been poking fun at Donald Trump’s campaign for President. So, why won’t they make jokes about Hillary Clinton? The guys tackle this subject head on in this Public Service Announcement!
  • Where is Lester Holt? (Satire)

    09/25/2016 3:02:09 PM PDT · by RetiredTexasVet · 17 replies
    9/25/16 | RetiredTexasVet
    Where is Lester Holt? He has been missing from the NBC Evening News for over a week. Savanah Guppie has been ordered to fill in for the nightly news cast in his absence. Guppie fearfully stated that Holt was at home writing questions for the debate. Guppie would not elaborate because she was fearful that any unapproved response might subject her to the same PC crucifixion that had been visited upon her co-host Matt Liar. Alt-Right investigative reporters have learned from a source within the Clinton campaign staff that Holt is being covertly driven to the Clinton compound daily. The...
  • Debate Bingo

    09/25/2016 12:20:33 PM PDT · by generally · 37 replies
    9/25/2016 | genrally
    I'm in charge of making Bingo cards for a debate party. I'd welcome any suggestions. Here's my starting list: 1. Hitlery coughs. 2. Hitlery says "for the children" 3. Trump mentions email scandal. 4. Trump calls her a liar. 5. Trump says Make America Great Again. 6. Hitlery disappears from stage. 7. Hitlery freezes. 8. Hitlery is assisted in walking or standing. 9. Clinton says "racism" or "racist" 10. BLM 11. "When I was Secretary of State..." 12. the 1% 13. "working families" 14. "path to citizenship" 15. "stronger together" 16. Hitlery : "dream" 17. Hitlery: "hate" 18. Hitlery: "temperament"...
  • "Salad Days" - Original country music, by Yours Truly

    09/25/2016 11:16:58 AM PDT · by Slings and Arrows · 17 replies
    Me, via YouTube ^ | 9/25/16 | Me, as "Hopalong Ginsberg"
    Don't worry about the bad production on the instrumental parts - it'll distract you from the bad puns in the song. For a free download of "Salad Days" click here, and then click on the Download icon.
  • Clinton would make a sober, smart and pragmatic president. Trump would be a catastrophe. (tr)

    09/25/2016 7:01:45 AM PDT · by dayglored · 60 replies
    L.A. Times ^ | Sep 23, 2016 | L.A. Times Editorial Board
    (Original title: Hillary Clinton would make a sober, smart and pragmatic president. Donald Trump would be a catastrophe.) American voters have a clear choice on Nov. 8. We can elect an experienced, thoughtful and deeply knowledgeable public servant or a thin-skinned demagogue who is unqualified and unsuited to be president. Donald J. Trump, a billionaire businessman and television personality, is the latter. He has never held elected office and has shown himself temperamentally unfit to do so. He has run a divisive, belligerent, dishonest campaign, repeatedly aligning himself with racists, strongmen and thugs while maligning or dismissing large segments of...
  • A Difficult Delivery [original meme]

    09/24/2016 9:45:08 PM PDT · by Slings and Arrows · 5 replies
    Me, via Teh Interwebz ^ | 9/24/16 | Me, as "Hopalong Ginsberg"
    A Hopalong Ginsberg original. Your enlightenment is my reward.
  • 15+ Pics That Prove Cats Can Sleep Purrretty Much Anywhere

    09/24/2016 4:07:29 PM PDT · by Twotone · 44 replies
    Bored Panda ^ | Unknown | ​ Šarūnė Mac
    Cats need between 12 and 16 hours of sleep per day, so with all that practice it's no great mystery why cats are experts in the sleep department. Take a look at this list compiled by Bored Panda for example. As you can see, there is literally no place and no position in which a cat cannot sleep. Sink? No problem. Shoe? You got it. In a box? Bring it on! In a wine glass? Sure!
  • BLM protestors enjoy a smoke

    09/24/2016 12:06:08 PM PDT · by BBell · 20 replies
    liveleak.com ^ | 9/23/16
    BLM protestors enjoy a smoke
  • Petition Pushes In-N-Out Burger to Sell Non-Burger Burgers

    09/24/2016 12:03:33 PM PDT · by jazusamo · 67 replies
    PJ Media ^ | September 23, 2016 | Tom Knighton
    Is there a restaurant that you'd love to go to, but you don't like the kind of food it sells? No? Well of course not, because if you don't like the kind of food it sells, you just go somewhere else. You don't go to Chick-fil-A if you don't want to eat chicken, just like you don't eat at a Chinese food place if you want tacos and you don't eat Mexican if you have a hankering for sushi. That isn't stopping one group of brain-dead morons from trying to force In-N-Out Burger to offer "meat free" options on its...
  • Clueless iPhone 7 owners destroy new handsets after... DRILLING their own headphone jack (trunc)

    09/24/2016 8:56:21 AM PDT · by ameribbean expat · 46 replies
    Clueless iPhone 7 owners have been destroying their new £600-handsets after watching a prank video advising them to drill a hole for their headphones. Apple's slick new phone comes without a headphone jack, unlike any of its predecessors, as the tech giant encourages its customers to invest in wireless ear pieces. The cruel but funny tutorial instructs iPhone uses to clamp their precious new mobiles in place before creating their own jack with a 3.5mm drill.
  • World Funniest Muay Thai Kick Boxing Match Ever

    09/24/2016 8:49:06 AM PDT · by navysealdad · 18 replies
    Ozzy Man video. Even if you don't appreciate his style, the video is funny as hell. Muay Thai is a combat sport of Thailand that uses stand-up striking along with various clinching techniques.
  • The First Debate In History Where Millions Will Be Focusing Closely On One Candidate.

    09/23/2016 3:56:54 PM PDT · by TrumpTrain_VS_TheClintonToilet · 91 replies
    A Definite First In Debate History.On Monday night, over 100 Million viewers will be watching Hillary Clinton in anticipation of what will happen to her. Most of us will probably not pay attention to how she answers her questions, we will all be waiting to see what involuntary episode may come upon her for the 90 minute duration. None of us actually believe that Hillary will make the 90 minute debate flawlessly, something is bound to go wrong. But what will happen?
  • Marshall Digs Pit In End Zone In Hopes Of Containing Lamar Jackson

    09/23/2016 12:44:40 PM PDT · by buckalfa · 6 replies
    The Kicker ^ | 09/18/2016 | Jerimiah Budinn
    Louisville quarterback Lamar Jackson demolished Florida State yesterday, rushing for four touchdowns and throwing for one more in a dominant 63-20 win. Next up is a road game against Marshall University, but Marshall is already preparing for to stop Jackson, by digging a huge pit in the end zone. “Here’s the plan,” said Marshall head coach Doc Holliday. “We dig a big old pit in the end zone. We cover it with sticks and leaves and stuff. Within the first three or four seconds of the game, Lamar probably runs it in for a touchdown. Boom, he falls in the...
  • The Clintons have the Devil Inside (Great music parody!)

    09/23/2016 8:00:40 AM PDT · by bigbob · 3 replies
    YouTube ^ | theronniebuss
    A great parody of the INXS "Devil Inside" featuring...well you know who... 2:45 video.
  • ***THE OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD***

    09/23/2016 6:10:17 AM PDT · by Lucky9teen · 54 replies
    September 23rd is Bisexuality Day This thread is either going to end up to be really hilarious or really lame, but I can't quite decide which it will be yet; it could go both ways.*****We must make this thread happen bi any means necessary**********The newest LGBT festival.... North Bi Northwest**********If you ask bisexuals about their sexuality, they couldn't give you a straight answer.**********I'm still finding myself on both sides. Whether you're raising a point or split down the middle, it doesn't really matter to me, though.**********Did you hear about the bisexual support group? It's called AAM, Ambivalents Anonymous Maybe,...
  • Hillary Clinton jokes she 'regrets' 'Between Two Ferns' interview with Zach Galifianakis

    09/23/2016 1:39:52 AM PDT · by Daffynition · 48 replies
    FoxNews ^ | September 22, 2016 | staff reporter
    Hillary Clinton sat down with actor Zach Galifiankis for her web series "Between Two Ferns." Halfway through the interview, Clinton said, "I really regret doing this." The "Hangover" star asked Clinton questions like "As Secretary, how many words per minute could you type? And how does President Obama like his coffee? Like himself? Weak?"
  • Today's Toons 9/23/16

    09/23/2016 1:31:47 AM PDT · by pookie18 · 17 replies
    The Briefing Room ^ | 9/23/16 | pookie18
    Click on link
  • Report: Terror attack stopped by heroic activist who established safe space in local mall

    09/22/2016 10:38:00 PM PDT · by Bubba Gump Shrimp · 6 replies
    DuffelBlog ^ | sept 22, 2016 | duffelblog
    ST. CLOUD, Minn. – Shane Williams was standing in line at Orange Julius with his 6-year old daughter when the screaming started last week. Instinctively, Shane pulled his daughter close and began searching for the cause of the commotion. Williams saw a woman running toward him; blood ran through her fingers where she clutched her abdomen. Behind her, a man dressed in a security guard uniform appeared to be wrestling with someone.
  • Truck vs Tugboat Ultimate Tug of War – Who ya got?

    09/22/2016 9:26:26 PM PDT · by golux · 17 replies
    GCaptain ^ | Sept 21, 2016 | Mike Schuler
    A great long-form spot for Chevron Delo. Rotella T man myself...
  • Pie wielder, from jail, says Kevin Johnson hit him twice 'pretty hard'

    09/22/2016 7:30:18 PM PDT · by BenLurkin · 54 replies
    espn ^ | 09/22/2016 | associated press
    A man took a coconut cream pie from a grocery bag, grabbed Sacramento Mayor Kevin Johnson from behind and smacked him in the face with it at a charity event, leading the former NBA star to start swinging and then tackle the man, who was left battered and facing assault charges. The pie wielder and local activist, Sean Thompson, 32, said Thursday that the mayor overreacted, sending him to the hospital for nine stitches before he went to jail. He said he was angry Johnson devoted so much political energy to an arena for the city's basketball team and not...
  • Come at me bro! The moment an angry CRAB grabs a knife in its claw and wields it menacingly

    09/22/2016 5:31:50 AM PDT · by snarkpup · 22 replies
    UK Daily Mail ^ | Updated: 03:11 EST, 22 September 2016 | Ashleigh Davis
    A crab has being filmed in Brazil clutching a kitchen knife in its claw while scuttling along a tiled floor and waving the knife around aggressively (pictured)
  • Rasputin (Boney M) - 1970s

    09/22/2016 1:46:11 AM PDT · by odds · 4 replies
    Youtube ^ | 22/09/2016 | Me
    Nothing special. A YouTube video of Boney-M and one of their popular songs "Rasputin". It is funny in today's social & political context. Check out the Italian presenter with his bouffant hairdo.. if you speak Italian it'd be a bonus.
  • Today's Toons 9/22/16

    09/22/2016 1:28:57 AM PDT · by pookie18 · 12 replies
    The Right Reasons ^ | 9/22/16 | pookie18
    Click on link
  • Vanity post for" Its a Mad Mad Mad World" TCM tonight

    09/21/2016 3:05:21 PM PDT · by CGASMIA68 · 71 replies
    Turner Classics tonight 8 PM my area Good wholesome entertainment for the entire clan.
  • the Democratic convention

    09/21/2016 10:41:20 AM PDT · by gsm31 · 4 replies
    21-Sep 2016 | gsm31
    what Michele Obama said at convention.
  • Apple patents bold new innovation – a paper bag

    09/21/2016 9:05:04 AM PDT · by Shanghai Dan · 24 replies
    Apple has patented remotely disabling iPhone cameras. It’s patented Gear VR-style headsets, and watch-controlled photography. It’s even patented the sliding function to unlock the phone – deceased as of iOS 10 – and the concept of a phone with a bezel and rounded edges. Now it’s gone one step further, and applied to patent a paper bag.
  • ISIS Egyptian goddesses

    09/21/2016 9:03:27 AM PDT · by Eleutheria5 · 12 replies
    21-Sep 2016 | gsm31
    ISIS the Terrorist group that only believe in one god and behead people who arrant like them there group is named after an Egyptian goddesses.
  • Today's Toons 9/21/16

    09/21/2016 1:30:31 AM PDT · by pookie18 · 14 replies
    The Right Reasons ^ | 9/21/16 | pookie18
    Click on link
  • Cow Fart Regulation Passed Into California Law

    09/20/2016 12:36:56 PM PDT · by PROCON · 106 replies
    AP ^ | Sep. 19, 2016
    SACRAMENTO (AP) — Gov. Jerry Brown has signed legislation that regulates emissions from dairy cows and landfills for the first time as California broadens its efforts to fight climate change beyond carbon-based greenhouse gases. Brown’s move Monday targets a category of gases known as short-lived climate pollutants, which have an outsize effect on global warming despite their relatively short life in the atmosphere.
  • VIDEO: Stop Comparing Trump To Hitler. FIVE Reasons Hillary Is More Like The Fuhrer!

    09/20/2016 3:12:22 PM PDT · by StevenCrowder · 13 replies
    www.LouderWithCrowder.com ^ | 08/20/2016 | Steven Crowder
    In the leftist realm of insults, there’s nothing more cliche than calling one’s enemy “Hitler.” Aside from how lazy it is, a socialist-leaning leftist calling anyone else “Hitler” is rich. Ironically speaking. For election 2016, creative-insult-deprived leftist twits have familiarly reached into their bag of tricks, comparing Donald Trump to “Hitler.” The etymologically-challenged even call Trump “Literally Hitler.” Gawd. Except no. If there’s a candidate whose polices resemble Hitler’s, it isn’t Trump. It’s Hillary. Yes, really. VIDEO: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i7LWJaBFIFw
  • British Woman Calls Barnstaple Police and Gets Through to Massachusetts

    09/20/2016 10:08:37 AM PDT · by DeoVindiceSicSemperTyrannis · 41 replies
    Telegraph (UK) ^ | 9/19/16 | Robert Midgley
    A woman who rang Barnstaple Police in Devon was left stumped after being put through to an officer in Barnstable, Massachusetts in the US. The woman, who's identity is unknown, reported a car accident between Muddiford and Ilfracombe in the UK. But the confused US officer on the other end of the phone struggled to work out where she was talking about, asking for nearby landmarks. Eventually the woman realised something was wrong when the officer hadn't heard of Ilfracombe. The police officer finally worked out what the problem was. The woman was referring to Barnstaple, England - and he...
  • ‘Sherlock’ Actress Amanda Abbington Claims Her Purse Was Stolen At The 2016 Emmys

    09/20/2016 10:02:29 AM PDT · by BenLurkin · 28 replies
    cbslocal.com ^ | September 19, 2016 11:09 AM
    According to the British actress, her handbag was taken from underneath her chair while she went to accept an award during the ceremony. Abbington took to Twitter on Sunday evening to post about the incident. Thanks for the lovely tweets re; the Emmy's. So pleased we won! Cool, right? — amanda abbington (@CHIMPSINSOCKS) September 19, 2016 However, we went up to collect the Emmy, did some press, came back to my seat and some bastard had nicked my purse from under my seat. Nice
  • NFL Live Thread Week Three

    09/20/2016 5:26:28 AM PDT · by Bender2 · 184 replies
    NFL Live Thread Week 3 Thursday, Sept. 22 8:25 p.m. ET Texans at Patriots Sunday, Sept. 25 1 p.m. ET Cardinals at Bills 1 p.m. ET Raiders at Titans 1 p.m. ET Redskins at Giants 1 p.m. ET Browns at Dolphins 1 p.m. ET Ravens at Jaguars 1 p.m. ET Lions at Packers 1 p.m. ET Broncos at Bengals 1 p.m. ET Vikings at Panthers 4:05 p.m. ET Rams at Buccaneers 4:05 p.m. ET 49ers at Seahawks 4:25 p.m. ET Jets at Chiefs 4:25 p.m. ET Chargers at Colts 4:25 p.m. ET Steelers at Eagles 8:30 p.m. ET Bears at...
  • Obama said about voting for Hillary

    09/20/2016 4:40:24 AM PDT · by gsm31 · 22 replies
    20-Sep 2016 | gsm31
    Obama said that if you don't vote for Hillary hill be personally a offended. My Family is offending Obama.
  • Today's Toons 9/20/16

    09/20/2016 1:26:16 AM PDT · by pookie18 · 9 replies
    The Right Reasons ^ | 9/20/16 | pookie18
    Click on link
  • Jeb Bush Appears as Uber Driver in Emmys Opening Gag

    09/19/2016 5:29:33 AM PDT · by heterosupremacist · 30 replies
    http://www.newsmax.com ^ | 09/19/2016 | n/a
    Bush appeared in the skit dressed as a limo driver hailed by Kimmel as he frantically sought a ride to the annual television awards show in downtown Los Angeles. "I'm in between jobs right now," says Bush, sporting a cap. "You know you can make $12 an hour driving for Uber?" He then asks Kimmel what it's like to be nominated -- a self-effacing nod to his failed bid for the Republican presidential nomination, which was eventually won by Donald Trump.
  • Today's Toons 9/19/16

    09/19/2016 4:32:20 AM PDT · by pookie18 · 15 replies
    The Briefing Room ^ | 9/19/16 | pookie18
    Click on link
  • "Talk Like a Pirate Day" at Krispy Kreme

    09/19/2016 4:18:14 AM PDT · by COBOL2Java · 42 replies
    19 September 2016 | Cobol2Java
    Today is "Talk Like a Pirate Day" at Krispy Kreme. You get a free glazed donut if you order like a pirate. So I went up to the drive-through and said "Arr! I be havin' a free donut and one 'o yer large coffees with cream an' 3 Splendas, if ye please." (I can speak a pretty good Pirate, having spent many years watching "Spongebob Squarepants" with my daughter and then the grandkids). Unfortunately, the lady manning the drive-through was this Vietnamese lady who didn't speak Pirate. She responded through the speaker "What??? What you want???" I suspect she's going...
  • Amazon Reviews Give Hillary Book 5 Stars: 'So I Don't Get Straight Up Murdered' (hilarious)

    09/18/2016 7:59:54 PM PDT · by jazusamo · 54 replies
    PJ Media ^ | September 18, 2016 | Tyler O'Neil
    In many circles, the Clintons are notorious for having enemies who mysteriously disappear at the opportune moment. Amazon.com reviewers played on this theme in mocking "5 Star" reviews of Hillary Clinton'sunpopular new flop of a campaign book — which even at the low, low price of $10, people seem resolute not to buy for some inexplicable reason. That doesn't stop people from buying Clinton insurance by giving the book stellar reviews. Amazon user Amy gave Stronger Together a "5.0 out of 5 stars," with a brief review entitled, "I want to live." Her review proved rather succinct: "Nothing new here....
  • Captain Hillary Pike UFP

    09/18/2016 6:59:33 PM PDT · by Fixit · 24 replies
    Needs a background. Ideas?
  • These images show near-record low 2016 Arctic Sea ice

    09/18/2016 3:46:00 PM PDT · by Lorianne · 75 replies
    Salon ^ | 17 September 2016
    Photo of the endangered penquins of the ... arctic?
  • So sick of Santa and his Arrogant Shaming Tactic

    09/18/2016 1:59:28 PM PDT · by Vendome · 15 replies
    Vanity | 09/18/2016 | Vendome
    Ran across the pic posted below and couldn't stop laughing.
  • Netflix Acquires Young Barack Obama Movie ‘Barry’ (Another Flop in the Making)

    09/18/2016 8:46:18 AM PDT · by brucedickinson · 45 replies
    BreitBart ^ | 9-18-2016 | DANIEL NUSSBAUM
    Netflix has acquired worldwide rights to Barry, a film about a formative year in the life of a young Barack Obama, following its premiere at the Toronto International Film Festival this month. According to Deadline, the streaming service beat out several other distributors to land the rights to the critically-acclaimed film from director Vikram Gandhi, which premiered September 10 in Toronto. Netflix was said to have spent $4.5 million to acquire the film, though the final number was not confirmed. Barry tells the story of one year in the life of the future president, as he attends Columbia University in...
  • Randy Stonehill: Lung Cancer (1977)

    09/17/2016 7:30:35 AM PDT · by Fai Mao · 4 replies
    You Tube ^ | 1977 | Randy Stonehill
    Seeing the PIAPS cough made me think of this song. Lung Cancer
  • Vanity: Our favorite performances from the Gong Show

    09/17/2016 5:56:32 AM PDT · by mainestategop · 24 replies
    We at Mainestategop.blogpsot.com and the new England Alliance for liberty and Free markets noticed that there have been a lot of uploads of episodes and sketches from The Gong Show. YES! Everyone's favorite reality show from 1978 and 1977 from before anyone heard of Simon Cowell, before American Idol, before there was America's got Talent, there was THE GONG SHOW! Here now is our favorite sketches. The best we saved for last! 1. Billy and the Billetes 2. RICK CUTLER (MAMA WONT LET ME ON THE GONG SHOW) 3. Michael foster Rivera (MAGICIAN WITH THE PET CHICKEN) 4. FRED TYSON...
  • Rock n'f'n ROOL !!! [a satirical view of musicianship from an aging Boomer]

    09/17/2016 4:28:13 AM PDT · by Mr_Moonlight · 43 replies
    my twisted mind | Sept 17 2016 | Mr_Moonlight
    <p>I always said that the Bassist is the most normal person in the room .... the Lead Singer is always an exhibitionist jumping about like a spastic idot [sic] screaming some incoherent gibberish into some cheap $23 dollar microphone bought from some cheezy pawnshop located in the seediest part of town, while the posing Lead Guitarist flails about in spandex with legs spread wide, a raised fist in mock triumph to his lame power chord, stomping on a battalion of shitty sounding effects pedals, each one sounding noisier and more obnoxious than the other ...</p>
  • Imagine Trump Playing Putin Like He Just Did CNN! #winning

    09/16/2016 11:23:45 AM PDT · by grayhog · 23 replies
    CNN | 9/16/16 | DJT
    This is what it feels like to win folks. In the words of Chris Mathews, #tingles
  • Pat Paulsen For President 2016 America Outta Shut Up Tour

    09/16/2016 7:16:53 AM PDT · by Paul46360 · 12 replies
    20th Anniv. from the Smother's Brothers