Humor (General/Chat)

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  • Too Old to be in the Armed Forces?

    12/21/2014 4:15:47 PM PST · by w1n1 · 19 replies
    wsj ^ | 12/21/2014 | T Rose
    There are many willing to join the military to fight the radical Jihadists, this includes all ages. Here's someone we came across and heard his perspective. With further adieu, I give you Tony Rose. "I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I’m too old to track down terrorists. You can’t be older than 42 to join the military. They’ve got the whole thing backwards." "Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn’t be able to join a military unit until you’re at least 35". The rest of Tony's...
  • A Funny Prank Call To A Funeral Home

    Rickey Smiley calls funeral home impersonating, "Bernice Johnson" inquiring about the deceased
  • Ayn Rand Reviews Children’s Movies

    12/21/2014 12:21:17 PM PST · by iowamark · 25 replies
    The New Yorker | December 18, 2014 | Mallory Ortberg
    Link only per The New Yorker copyright complaint: Ayn Rand Reviews Children's Movies
  • Truckers road rage waltz

    12/21/2014 10:48:47 AM PST · by Patriot777 · 12 replies
    Liveleak.com ^ | December 20, 2014 | unknown
    It was strangely majestic for a moment.
  • My Jerk Neighbor (Vanity)

    12/21/2014 9:11:27 AM PST · by wgflyer · 61 replies
    So, like, I’m a friendly person, wouldn’t hurt a fly, but when this jerk neighbor of mine said that global warming was a liberal fantasy I tried to reason with him. I told him the Arctic ice was melting, the polar bears were dying and the sea was rising but he kept spouting out stuff about records and trends and totally irrelevant things like water vapor, sunspots and volcanos. I’m well educated and I read the news. I never heard of any of the stuff he was throwing out. What B.S. How can you argue with a fool like that....
  • Dr Evil takes on Sony....North Korea

    12/21/2014 5:58:33 AM PST · by Vaquero · 6 replies
    SNL Youtube ^ | 12-20-14 | link
    video at link
  • The Josh-WUWT 2015 Climate Skeptics Calendar is now available

    12/16/2014 11:29:35 PM PST · by Ernest_at_the_Beach · 9 replies
    Wattsupwiththat.com ^ | December 12, 2014 | Anthony Watts
    Here is your chance again to join “Josh of the Month Club”. Samples follow.After the great response we had the last two years, Josh has sent his artwork across the pond to provide a special WUWT calendar for USA and Canadian readers again this year. It contains artwork more centric to issues here on this side of the pond, along with some cartoons never before published on WUWT.These make great Christmas gifts for yourself, your friends, or some of those special people like Mike Mann that need some cheer and enlightenment. Recall that Dr. Mann turned our simple gift...
  • HOW NOT TO PLANT A ROADSIDE BOMB

    12/20/2014 5:06:12 PM PST · by w1n1 · 30 replies
    wsj ^ | 12/20/2014 | J Hines
    Here are some rules that you should follow when planting a roadside bomb. Rule 1. After putting the bomb in the hole, do not, repeat, do not tamp the ground too much. Rule 2. Do not forget rule 1 FFS! This video of thermal image was taken from an AC-130 Gunship from about a mile away. No rounds were fired from the aircraft, some Islamic Jihadists were trying to bury a 155mm artillery round, they must have lost the instruction manual, or it was in English.See the video here.
  • Funeral for [A] Dog

    12/20/2014 1:37:04 PM PST · by NKP_Vet · 24 replies
    December 20, 2014
    Man walks into a Catholic church and asks the priest if he will do a funeral for his dog. Looking dazed the priest says "sir absolutely not, this is a Catholic church, we don't do funerals for animals. Go down to the protestant church, I'm sure they do a lovely funeral for your dog". The man said "thank your Father, do you think $10,000 is enough to offer for my dog's funeral". "$10,000 the priest exclaimed, why didn't you tell me your dog was Catholic"!!
  • The College Football Czar: 2014-15 Bowl Game Picks

    12/20/2014 3:12:09 AM PST · by Daniel Clark · 15 replies
    The Shinbone: The Frontier of the Free Press ^ | December 20, 2014 | Daniel Clark
    The College Football Czar: 2014-15 Bowl Game Picks Week fifteen in review: As critical as the College Football Czar is of the whole concept of the CFP Committee, he is pleased that it has succeeded in selecting the correct four teams, an obnoxious publicity campaign by #5 Baylor notwithstanding. Anybody who argues that any team other than Alabama, Oregon, Florida State and Ohio State deserves a shot at the national title is merely agitating on behalf of playoff expansion for its own sake. Fourth-rated Ohio State certainly has its flaws, but the Buckeyes are one among the tiny minority of...
  • Hitler learns that Sony won't be releasing "The Interview"

    12/20/2014 2:23:46 AM PST · by Zakeet · 4 replies
    YouTube ^ | December 19, 2014
    Der Furher found out that Sony caved in to the Norks ... and was greatly disappointed
  • As new CEO of SONY my response to the NORKS is

    12/19/2014 2:00:10 PM PST · by LS · 38 replies
    self | 12/19/2014 | LS
    Ladies and Gentlemen, as the new CEO of SONY Corporation, I am hereby announcing our strategy for the challenges presented by the North Korean hacking incident. I have: 1) Contacted via our representatives all our participating theaters, urging them to show "The Interview" at a special late night showing as the only film offered in that time slot. We don't want any innocent byestanders hurt and therefore all who attend will understand the risk they are taking. 2) Assembled our legal team to indemnify all said theater owners who screen the movie, both against physical/property loss and against lawsuits, should...
  • OCD: You Won’t Believe How Much Coin This MAN Dropped To Look Like Kim Kardashian

    12/19/2014 9:10:33 AM PST · by SWAMPSNIPER · 36 replies
    CLASH DAILY ^ | Dec 18,2014 | CLASH DAILY
    Do you think this guy is gay? :P Quickly, someone buy him my book, Raising Boys Feminists Will Hate before it is too late! She graces several magazine covers a month, has her own reality show clothing and make-up brand, and has millions in the bank So perhaps it’s no surprise that 23-year-old Jordan James Parke wants to be just like Kim Kardashian.
  • Eat your heart out, Bill: Obama becomes first President since JFK to savor Cuban cigar...

    12/19/2014 8:59:44 AM PST · by W. · 43 replies
    DailyMail.com ^ | 19 Dec 2014 | Matthew Blake
    Barack Obama's historic peace-deal with Cuba after 50 years of cold war hostility was a breakthrough not to be sniffed at. But that didn't stop the US president having a try, when he got close and personal to a Cuban on Wednesday ... not a citizen, but a cigar. Significantly, it was the first time in 52 years that a US president has officially savoured the Cuban delicacy since John F. Kennedy stockpiled a secret stash of his favourite Havanas in the hours before he imposed a trade embargo on the Communist state in 1962. This, of course, doesn't include...
  • DC bar plans 'wake' for Washington Redskins

    12/19/2014 7:44:03 AM PST · by central_va · 23 replies
    Fox 46 ^ | 12/18/14 | unknown
    <p>A lot of people will be watching the Redskins take on the Eagles this weekend.</p> <p>But one local sports bar plans on hosting a very unique event to try and soothe the pain from all the past Redskin losses.</p> <p>Lou's City Bar in Columbia Heights says it plans on hosting a ‘Washington Wake’ this Saturday because of the team's terrible season.</p>
  • ***THE OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD***

    12/19/2014 4:33:05 AM PST · by Lucky9teen · 90 replies
    #WorstHolidayTradition@HalBrennan tweeted: “We always leave milk and cookies out on Christmas Eve, but find two empty beer bottles in the morning.” @ManningInc posted, “The arms from Baby Jesus in our nativity scene broke off, so now we replace them with miniature pretzel sticks.”@graciebell06 tweeted, “As each gift is opened my uncle yells, “It’s a sports bra!”@ziggaplease tweeted, “After unwrapping a present, we ball up the paper and throw it at the ceiling fan and cheer when someone gets hit in the face.”@m0d0k posted, “After our Christmas dinner, my family gets out a cuff to see whose blood pressure is...
  • Today's Toons 12/19/14

    12/19/2014 3:35:23 AM PST · by pookie18 · 13 replies
    The Briefing Room ^ | 12/19/14 | pookie18
    Click on link.
  • One of the Funniest Commercials Ever

    12/18/2014 6:17:40 PM PST · by PA Engineer · 33 replies
    Poo Pourri ^ | Unknow | Unknown
    LOL.
  • Caption Obozo and his first legal Cuban cigar

    12/18/2014 3:08:13 PM PST · by FreeAtlanta · 28 replies
    imgur ^ | 12/18/2014 | unknown
  • Death Row Serial Killer Quiz

    So, you think you're a pretty good person: you call your mom on Mother's Day, you always try to give your employer two week's notice and you make a conscience effort to control your spending habits before filing bankruptcy. You think of yourself as a person who loves children and who is always kind to the elderly. Think again. Take the Death Row Serial Killer Quiz*
  • When Youtube captioning goes horribly wrong

    12/18/2014 4:36:26 AM PST · by Norm Lenhart · 14 replies
    youtube ^ | 12/18/14 | Norm Lenhart
    Sometimes Youtube comes up with very "All your base belong to us" quips via their captioning function. Being a hobbyist musician I often watch videos on new equipment. This one made me wake the dog up laughing. He is SUPPOSED TO be saying "Now I'm gonna show you a cool feature". Didn't quite work out that way though... https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=3hSWl3kaHA8#t=487
  • Today's Toons 12/18/14

    12/18/2014 3:18:03 AM PST · by pookie18 · 9 replies
    The Right Reasons ^ | 12/18/14 | pookie18
    Click on link.
  • There Was No Way a P-51 Could Replace the A-10

    12/17/2014 8:16:56 PM PST · by DUMBGRUNT · 72 replies
    The U.S. Air Force has a complicated relationship with its low- and slow-flying A-10 Warthog attack jet. And that's putting it mildly. The flying branch has tried more than once to retire the ungainly A-10 in favor of speedier planes, only for ...
  • Top-of-the-flops: 10 Chanukah songs that didn’t make the charts

    12/17/2014 6:28:03 PM PST · by Impala64ssa · 27 replies
    How to write better.net ^ | December 16, 2012
    Oy to the World Schlepping through a Winter Wonderland Hava Negilah – The Megamix Bubby Got Run Over by a Reindeer Enough with those Jingle Bells Already…Jeez! Matzo Man (by the Lower East Side Village People) I Have a Little Dreidel (the Barking Dog Version) Come on Baby, Light My Menorah Deck the Halls with Balls of Matzoh Silent Night? I Should Be So Lucky
  • 2015 HOOTERS CALENDAR

    New 2015 Hooters Calendar is out.
  • Obamas say they're no strangers to racism (Barf or Laugh Alert)

    12/17/2014 5:44:51 AM PST · by KeyLargo · 85 replies
    The Hill ^ | December 17, 2014 | Justin Sink
    December 17, 2014, 08:15 am Obamas say they're no strangers to racism By Justin Sink The president and the first lady chronicled a series experiences in People magazine that they say demonstrated some of the latent racism that blacks in America continue to face. "There's no black male my age, who's a professional, who hasn't come out of a restaurant and is waiting for their car and somebody didn't hand them their car keys," the president said. The first lady said someone had asked her husband to get them coffee because he was wearing a tuxedo at a black-tie dinner,...
  • Today's Toons 12/17/14

    12/17/2014 4:24:08 AM PST · by pookie18 · 16 replies
    The Right Reasons ^ | 12/17/14 | pookie18
    Click on link.
  • This looks familiar

  • SO WHO CAN YOU STILL JOKE ABOUT? A List of groups you can still safely make public jokes about

    12/16/2014 1:41:47 PM PST · by SeekAndFind · 122 replies
    Powerline ^ | 12/16/2014 | Steven Hayward
    I’ve been trying to come up with a list of nationalities or ethnic groups—even subgroups—about whom it is still safe to make a joke publicly, since political correctness is shrinking the domain down to the vanishing point. Before long you won’t be able to make jokes about “little green men” from Mars, for fear of offending illegal aliens “undocumented” immigrants. I’m not even sure you can joke about white people any more, like Martin Mull and Allen Rucker did 20 years ago in A History of White People in America. Not even Sony would risk publishing this right now. So...
  • NFL Schedule - 2014 [Live Thread Week 16]

    12/16/2014 1:00:27 PM PST · by Bender2 · 240 replies
    ESPN NFL ^ | ESPN
    Week 16 Thursday, Dec. 18 Tennessee Titans vs. Jacksonville Jaguars, 8:25 p.m. Saturday, Dec. 20 San Diego Chargers vs. San Francisco 49ers, TBD Philadelphia Eagles vs. Washington Redskins, TBD Sunday, Dec. 21 Cleveland Browns vs. Carolina Panthers, 1 p.m. Detroit Lions vs. Chicago Bears, 1 p.m. Baltimore Ravens vs. Houston Texans, 1 p.m. Minnesota Vikings vs. Miami Dolphins, 1 p.m. Atlanta Falcons vs. New Orleans Saints, 1 p.m. New England Patriots vs. New York Jets, 1 p.m. Kansas City Chiefs vs. Pittsburgh Steelers, 1 p.m Green Bay Packers vs. Tampa Bay Buccaneers, 1 p.m. New York Giants vs. St. Louis...
  • Mom Calls C-SPAN to Yell At Her Arguing Pundit Sons

    12/16/2014 10:46:53 AM PST · by Abathar · 8 replies
    Jezebel ^ | 12/16/14 | Kelly Faircloth
    Oh my Lord, shut it down, here is the greatest moment in the history of C-SPAN: A (very Southern) mama called into one of their shows to yell at the guests. Not because she disagrees, but because the guests are brothers and both her sons and she is sick and tired of their ****. http://jezebel.com/mom-calls-c-span-to-yell-at-her-arguing-pundit-sons-1671747153?rev=1418749692833
  • Fabiola Santiago: As tolls rise, Florida shorts Miami

    12/16/2014 7:44:24 AM PST · by Tolerance Sucks Rocks · 2 replies
    Florida News ^ | December 14, 2014 | Fabiola Santiago
    While Miami-Dade residents were strike recently with new, rare fee hikes on vital east-west arteries, Gov. Rick Scott was rewarding his farming regressive supporters with $9 million to build and urge their toll-free roads. So while down south we compensate a way, a folks adult north who minister reduction to state revenues get a giveaway ride. Poor timing? Irony? A giggle to go with a slap to a pockets of Miami-Dade’s toll-payers? The governor’s proclamation from Tallahassee was all those things — and came by approach of press releases finished with difference of regard from a prolonged register of who’s...
  • Today's Toons 12/16/14

    12/16/2014 3:24:50 AM PST · by pookie18 · 11 replies
    The Right Reasons ^ | 12/16/14 | pookie18
    Click on link.
  • "Crabs for Christmas" from WMPT show "Crabs"(Merry Christmas from Maryland, Hon!)

    12/15/2014 6:04:24 PM PST · by RedMDer · 23 replies
    YouTube ^ | WMPT
    Uploaded on Apr 28, 2009 From Maryland Public TV, the Crabs for Christmas song by David DeBoy from the old Crabs Tv series from the mid 80's, this was taped before I had cable so its fuzzy
  • Poo~Pourri (Santa Humor)

    12/15/2014 9:21:31 AM PST · by BCW · 4 replies
    YouTube ^ | 19 NOV 2014 | Poo~Pourri
    What happens when all those milk and cookies catch up with Santa on his big night? He gets busted like never before… Should've used Poo~Pourri, Kringle!
  • Today's Toons 12/15/14

    12/15/2014 3:28:55 AM PST · by pookie18 · 18 replies
    The Briefing Room ^ | 12/15/14 | pookie18
    Click on link.
  • NFL Tiebreaker chart (VANITY:VNFC and AFC playoffs)

    12/14/2014 7:06:44 PM PST · by campaignPete R-CT · 33 replies
    9pm EST. TIEBREAKERS AFC WILDCARD MIAMI BUFF BALT PITT CLEVE HOUS KC SAN DIEGO MIAMI .... - MIA-3 BA-1, MIA-3 MIA-4 MIA-3 HOUS-3 KC-1 MIA-1, SD-4 BUFF MIA-3 .... - balt-L4 PITT-3 BUFF-1 HOUS-1,3 KC-1,3 SD-1,3 BALT BA-1, MIA-3 balt-L4 ...- PITT-3 CLE-2 HOUS-1,3 KC-3 SD-1,3 PITT MIA-4 PITT-3 PITT-3 ...- PITT-4 PITT-1, HOUS-3 KC-1,SOV pitt-L3, SD-4 CLEVE MIA-3 BUFF-1 CLE-2 PITT-4 ...- HOUS-1,3 KC-3 SD-3 HOUS HOUS-3 HOUS-1,3 HOUS-1,3 PITT-1, HOUS-3 HOUS-1,3 ....- HOUS-3 HOUS-3 KC KC-1 KC-1,3 KC-3 KC-1,SOV KC-3 HOUS-3 ....- 12/28 SAN DIEGO MIA-1, SD-4 SD-1,3 SD-1,3 pitt-L3, SD-4 SD-3 HOUS-3 12/28 ....- 1- ...HEAD-TO-HEAD 2-...
  • Screaming Goats

    12/14/2014 12:20:42 PM PST · by Patriot777 · 12 replies
    Liveleak.com ^ | December 14, 2014 | unknown
    http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=13d_1418573374 Various and sundry goats vocalizing in a very hilarious manner.
  • Guy Accidently Hits The Fap Button on His Mechanical Arm :)

    12/14/2014 11:52:14 AM PST · by Patriot777 · 26 replies
    Liveleak.com ^ | Nov-17-2014 | unknown
    A man fitted with a mechanical arm goes about demonstrating how it works--with mixed (and hilarious) results.
  • Movie for a Sunday afternoon "Harum Scarum"(1965) in 2 parts

    12/14/2014 11:49:33 AM PST · by ReformationFan · 10 replies
    Daily Motion ^ | 1965 | Gene Nelson
    In 2 parts: Part 1 http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x1c9hns_harum-scarum-1965-1-2_lifestyle Part 2 http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x1c9iv8_harum-scarum-1965-2-2_lifestyle
  • Howie Manziel -- Tebow without the religious overtones

    12/14/2014 10:59:27 AM PST · by freedumb2003 · 102 replies
    OK, please take this in the humorous spirit that it was meant. But let's face it, "Johnny Football" should go back to leading the aerobics classes. And also, we must also face it that Tebow was just OK in a league that needs great out of the gate (watching Manziel EXACTLY reminds me of Tebow).
  • A Funny Thing Happened In School Today

    12/13/2014 5:20:29 PM PST · by BruceDeitrickPrice · 28 replies
    RantRave.com ^ | Sept. 15, 2014 | Bruce Deitrick Price
    A funny thing happened in school today. Not funny ha-ha but funny as in bizarre and unexpected. Funny as in funny money. And not just today. Yesterday. Tomorrow. Every day. Every time a school teaches reading in a way that doesn't work. That's funny, right? You teach reading but somehow nobody learns to read? How funny can you get? And not just in any one school. No, this epic lack of progress is happening everywhere. Point to a school and you're probably looking at a dead zone literacy-wise. That's funny, right? A school's first job is to teach kids to...
  • Dead Coyote Hung from Tree with Christmas Bow

    12/13/2014 11:26:46 AM PST · by GraceG · 54 replies
    Breitbart ^ | 12/11/2014 | Breitbart News
    PLAINS, Mont., Dec. 11 (UPI) -- A dead coyote hung from a tree with a Christmas bow along a Montana school bus route is outraging residents, but police said the display is not illegal. Plains resident Mary Ellen Siegford, who posted a picture of the less-than-cheerful holiday display on Facebook, said her daughter burst into tears when she saw the dead animal. "A lot of people were just like, 'Well, be glad it's dead. You don't have to worry about it eating your pets,'" Siegford told KECI-TV. "But I don't know. To me, it's morbid, it rings of animal cruelty....
  • Ballistic Nutcracker

    12/13/2014 8:45:01 AM PST · by Enlightened1 · 6 replies
    Happy holidays from the makers of purpose built gear for life's most demanding missions - www.511tactical.com
  • What women really think of men

    12/12/2014 7:28:22 PM PST · by maddog55 · 33 replies
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lc3LUCu8-IU ^ | Published on Sep 16, 2014 | hack supervillain
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lc3LUCu8-IU
  • The Late Late Show: Craig Becomes An American Citizen

    12/12/2014 4:40:23 PM PST · by Hetty_Fauxvert · 14 replies
    CBS ^ | 12/31/14
    Craig Ferguson takes the oath of citizenship to the United States. Video at link.
  • Mexican pilot fired after letting attractive singer fly plane while it was full of passengers

    12/12/2014 3:37:14 PM PST · by KeyLargo · 60 replies
    Fox News Latino ^ | 12-12-2014
    Mexican pilot fired after letting attractive singer fly plane while it was full of passengers A Mexican pilot is out of a job after he let a stunning singer and her actress friend sit in his cockpit seat and permitted them to control the plane while it was airborne. The pilot, who has not been named, was let go from his job with the Magnicharters airline after photos emerged Twitter of 23-year old Mexican singer Esmeralda Ugalde and her 19-year old actress friend Samadhi Zendejas posing in the pilot’s cabin and wearing his hat. After Ugalde posted the picture to...
  • Men really are more stupid than women, research shows

    12/12/2014 9:00:17 AM PST · by BenLurkin · 119 replies
    Sarah Knapton, Science Editor ^ | 11:30PM GMT 11 Dec 2014
    It's enough to start a new battle of the sexes, but when it comes to needless and untimely deaths, men win hands down. A 20 year study of the Darwin Awards, an annual review of the most foolish way people have died, found almost 90 per cent were 'won' by males. ... Of 332 independently verified nominations 14 were ruled out of the analysis because they were shared by male and females - usually overly adventurous couples in compromising positions.
  • ***THE OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD***

    12/12/2014 4:27:57 AM PST · by Lucky9teen · 87 replies
    One day an old German shepherd starts chasing rabbits and before long, discovers that he's lost.. Wandering about, he notices a panther heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch. The old German shepherd thinks, "Oh, oh! I'm in deep s*** now!"Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the panther is about to leap, the old German shepherd exclaims loudly, "Boy, that was one delicious panther! I wonder if there are any more around here?"Hearing this, the...
  • Today's Toons 12/12/14

    12/12/2014 1:56:30 AM PST · by pookie18 · 11 replies
    The Briefing Room ^ | 12/12/14 | pookie18
    Click on link.