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Humor (General/Chat)

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  • Here's How Long That Teen Would Have to Pee in the Portland Reservoir to Make It Unsafe to Drink

    04/19/2014 12:54:24 PM PDT · by Michael.SF. · 53 replies
    slate ^ | April 17, 2014 | Laura Helmuth
    How many times would that teenager have to pee in a Portland reservoir to produce a urine concentration approaching the EPA’s limit for nitrates in drinking water? About 3,333 times. But of course urine is 95 percent water. (If you’re ever trapped in rubble after a natural disaster, go ahead and drink it.) Only about 2 percent of urine is nitrogen-rich urea. That means he’d have to urinate 166,666 times for the concentration of urea to approach that of the EPA’s limit for nitrates in drinking water. Since most animals, including idiot teenaged show-offs, take about 21 seconds to urinate,...
  • !! Silly Saturday !!

    04/19/2014 8:20:04 AM PDT · by Lazamataz · 50 replies
    Original, if STRANGE, Content | April 19, 2014 | By Laz A. Mataz
  • People on Instagram Are Ditching Their Musical Instruments to Play Their Cat [videos]

    04/19/2014 12:19:24 AM PDT · by Slings and Arrows · 12 replies
    I Can Has Cheezburger? ^ | 4/15/14 or thereabouts
    Here is the best of #CatBand on Instagram. I'm not sure I want to live on this planet anymore...
  • Putin bans Mozilla products in Russian government offices

    04/18/2014 7:23:57 PM PDT · by steve86 · 13 replies
    24 TV - Ukrainian TV live broadcast | Early 19 April, 2014 GMT time | 24 TV Staff
    ...and also Russian Orthodox church offices. Firefox, Thunderbird, WebMaker, etc.
  • Putin jokes Alaska too cold to annex

    04/18/2014 6:41:03 AM PDT · by McGruff · 45 replies
    The Hill ^ | April 17, 2014 | Rebecca Shabad
    Russian President Vladimir Putin on Thursday jokingly implied that Alaska wasn't worth reunifying with Russia because it was too cold. At a nearly four-hour, question-and-answer event, one submitted question for Putin asked if, following the annexation of Crimea, he had designs for the largest of the United States. “Are there any plans to annex Alaska to Russia? We would be very happy [about that],” said Faina Ivanovna, drawing laughter from the crowd. “What would you need Alaska for?” Putin said with a smile. “We are a northern country … 70 percent of our territory is in the north and far...
  • 2015 Dodge Challenger - New York Auto Show - NYIAS - Wisdom

    04/18/2014 8:16:21 AM PDT · by RegulatorCountry · 30 replies
    YouTube ^ | April 17, 2014 | Chrysler Group LLC
    I'm liking what Fiat is doing with Chrysler more and more, even their choice of ad agency and marketing campaigns. This is a startling, hilarious and cool ad commemorating the 100th Anniversary of Dodge and announcing the 2015 Challenger.
  • ***THE OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD***

    04/18/2014 5:38:39 AM PDT · by Lucky9teen · 75 replies
    One Easter a priest and a taxi driver both died and went to heaven. St. Peter was at the Pearly gates waiting for them.'Come with me,' said St. Peter to the taxi driver.The taxi driver did as he was told and followed St Peter to a mansion. It had everything you could imagine from a bowling alley to an Olympic size pool.'Oh my word, thank you,' said the taxi driver.Next, St. Peter led the priest to a rough old shack with a bunk bed and a little old television set.'Wait, I think you are a little mixed up,' said the...
  • Today's Toons 4/18/14

    04/18/2014 3:54:54 AM PDT · by pookie18 · 15 replies
    The Briefing Room ^ | 4/18/14 | pookie18
    Click on link.
  • What Names are left for Chelsea's Baby?

    04/17/2014 7:48:38 PM PDT · by Yaelle · 101 replies
    Fertile mind | 04/17/14 | Self
    Poor Chelsea. There aren't many untainted names left for her to name her baby. I think if it's a boy, she will be left with more options. For a girl, there are just so many names that dredge up bad memories. Monica is obviously out. Jennifer, no matter the spelling, simply wouldn't be appropriate. Barbra, Markie, Elizabeth, none of these appropriate. Cute baby names like Dolly or Sally won't even work. What about the great classics, like Kathleen, Linda, or Deborah? Very much out. Paula? Don't even think about it. Even some of the more ethnic and unusual names like...
  • Caption Barry and Joe's Selfie

    04/17/2014 11:04:42 AM PDT · by E. Pluribus Unum · 35 replies
    "And there is nothing you can do about it."
  • Is Malaysia Airlines Flight 370 Really A Publicity Stunt For A “Lost” Movie?

    04/17/2014 8:28:50 AM PDT · by logi_cal869 · 21 replies
    Rant Lifestyle ^ | 3/18/2014 | Michael Peckerar
    Sound farfetched that an entire missing airliner could be part of a huge viral marketing campaign for a "Lost" movie? Really? Or perhaps you underestimate Bad Robot.
  • Mets’ Minor League Team Is Hosting ‘Seinfeld’ Night, Complete With Puffy Shirts and Cereal

    04/17/2014 6:23:01 AM PDT · by Scoutmaster · 22 replies
    The Wrap ^ | April 16, 2014 | Jordan Zakarin
    Cereal eaters, terrible dancers, and latex salesmen will be especially welcome in Brooklyn in early July. Jerry Seinfeld wore his Mets fandom on his sleeve during the long run of his eponymous sitcom, and now, one of the team's minor league affiliates is returning the favor. Quite literally, in fact. The Brooklyn Cyclones, the Mets’ short season single A team based in Coney Island, will celebrate the 25th anniversary of the original airing of the “Seinfeld” pilot with a night filled with festivities about nothing, so to speak. On July 5, the team is transforming MCU Park into an arena...
  • Today's Toons 4/17/14

    04/17/2014 3:43:36 AM PDT · by pookie18 · 11 replies
    The Right Reasons ^ | 4/17/14 | pookie18
    Click on link.
  • Cowardness Of Liberals.Will They Name The "Racist GOP" Members When Asked By Hosts?

    04/16/2014 5:09:23 PM PDT · by Cruz_West_Paul2016 · 10 replies
    So it looks like the Democrats have nothing to run on as usual this year.All they have is accusing conservatives and the GOP of hating all minorities.When Steve Israel accused GOP members of being racists,why didn't Chris Wallace challenge him?,He should of just responded by making Mr.Israel tell his 3 million(or so) viewers which Republicans were the racists.If Democrats are going to spend the next 6 months accusing all "Non-Democrats" of being racists on live television,someone better ask them to name names!.Wouldn't any of you love to be in the host position where you would demand your liberal guest to...
  • Rapper Andre Johnson severs penis, jumps off building, but survives

    04/16/2014 1:37:54 PM PDT · by Theoria · 161 replies
    CNN ^ | 16 April 2016 | Alan Duke
    Rapper Andre Johnson severed his penis and jumped from a Los Angeles apartment building early Wednesday, police said. Johnson was seriously injured, but survived the fall from the second level of the building in North Hollywood, Los Angeles Police Sgt. William Mann said. Johnson, along with his recovered penis, was taken to Cedars-Sinai Medical Center, where he was being treated, Mann said. Details about what triggered the incident were not available. Johnson has been a member of Northstar, a Long Beach, California, hip hop group that was part of the Wu-Tang Clan family, according to the Wu-Tang Clan website. He...
  • Some talk radio people annoy me when they yell at their board ops while on the air ~ Vanity

    04/16/2014 12:17:16 PM PDT · by GraceG · 67 replies
    GraceG
    Michael "Weiner" Savage is annoying the heck out of me, the prissy little self important prima donna started yelling at his board ops. Seriously, I mean you hear feedback over the headset, you simply slide the headset off your ears and continue until they fix it and give you a hand signal to put your cans back on.... Savage despite calling himself an expert is quite the newbie. And you NEVER EVER berate your board ops while ON THE AIR... EVER!!!!! Reminds me of the overly self important bully type boss who berates his employees in front of the other...
  • 10 Cats Who Love Easter Peeps!

    04/16/2014 11:15:42 AM PDT · by Gefn · 19 replies
    I Can Has Cheezeburger ^ | 4/16/2014 | I Can Has Cheezeburger
    While we enjoy the marshmallow variety, these kitties enjoy the real thing. Enjoy!
  • Today's Toons 4/16/14

    04/16/2014 1:36:12 AM PDT · by pookie18 · 9 replies
    The Right Reasons ^ | 4/16/14 | pookie18
    Click on link.
  • Too funny: Another Southwest Flight Attendant Goes Viral

    04/15/2014 1:37:07 PM PDT · by pax_et_bonum · 80 replies
    KHOU.com ^ | April 14. 2014 | KHOU.com staff
    “If I can pretend to have your attention for just a few moments, my ex-husband, my new boyfriend, and their divorce attorney are going to show you the safety features…” http://www.khou.com/video/featured-videos/Too-funny-Another-Southwest-flight-attendant-goes-viral-255175011.html
  • The Savage Nation Monthly Thread - APRIL 2014 - 3 to 6pm ET

    04/15/2014 10:23:57 AM PDT · by SilvieWaldorfMD · 13 replies
    Join The Savage Nation Call Michael at 855 400 SAVAGE 855 400 7282 3 to 6 pm ET
  • KFC Chicken Corsage Being Sold Just in Time for Prom Season

    04/15/2014 9:16:34 AM PDT · by illiac · 16 replies
    Breitbart ^ | 4/15/14 | Brietbart
    LOUISVILLE, Ky., April 14 (UPI) -- As part of a partnership between KFC and Nanz and Kraft Florists, prom-goers who want to bring their date something special now have the chance to surprise them with a chicken corsage. According to Nanz and Kraft, the corsage will “will make your date’s eyes light up and her mouth water.” Only 100 chicken corsages are available and the store has already sold 15 of them, according to the New York Daily News. “Just like the last piece of chicken in the bucket, when they’re gone, they’re gone.”
  • Today's Toons 4/15/14

    04/15/2014 3:16:33 AM PDT · by pookie18 · 17 replies
    The Right Reasons ^ | 4/15/14 | pookie18
    Click on link.
  • Cadillac Fuels Fury With 'anti-French' Advert at Countries That Take the 'Whole of August Off'

    04/14/2014 12:23:05 PM PDT · by lbryce · 19 replies
    Mail Onlline ^ | April 14, 2014 | Susan Tom;linson
    Full Title:Cadillac fuels Parisian fury with 'anti-French' advert which takes a dig at countries who take the 'whole of August Off' U.S. luxury car maker Cadillac has provoked anger in France with an advert which pokes fun at countries where workers 'stroll home, stop by the cafe... and take the whole of August off'. The commercial features Desperate Housewives actor Neil McDonough as a successful businessman who compares 'hard-working' Americans to their counterparts abroad who in his words 'don't work'. He says: 'Why do we work so hard? For what? For this? For stuff? Other countries don't work, they stroll...
  • Rush just said "Beaver and Cleaver" Life style

    04/14/2014 11:11:43 AM PDT · by Paladin2 · 48 replies
    EIB Netword | 4/14/2014 | Limbaugh
    LOLOLOl...
  • Mackinac Island ferries delayed because of Great Lake's ice cover

    04/14/2014 10:11:46 AM PDT · by cripplecreek · 42 replies
    Mlive.com ^ | April 14, 2014 | Jonathan Van Zytveld
    STRAITS OF MACKINAC, MI - At least one ferry service is predicting delayed trips to Mackinac Island due to ice that still covers a portion of the Great Lakes. Shepler's Mackinac Island Ferry has announced it will be starting its 2014 season later than anticipated after temporarily relocating its ferry starts to St. Ignace, rather than Mackinaw City, as a result of the ice blockages which remain in the Straits of Mackinac. "The straits have completely frozen over, except for a shipping channel," said Misty Martinchek, Shepler's group sales manager, who said all local ferries have been affected by the...
  • Today's Toons 4/14/14

    04/14/2014 1:30:04 AM PDT · by pookie18 · 13 replies
    The Briefing Room ^ | 4/14/14 | pookie18
    Click on link.
  • Check Out These Very Bad Cats

    04/13/2014 6:27:41 PM PDT · by OneVike · 57 replies
    For all you cat lovers, this is for you. I'm sure you have your own bad cat stories to tell.
  • Cat Puts Kibosh on Guitar Solo

    04/13/2014 5:51:12 PM PDT · by Yardstick · 25 replies
    YouTube ^ | April 8, 2014 | Eddie Van Kitteh
    Abyssinian decides it's time for pats, not solos, and then gets kind of snippy about it.
  • CO2 levels at 800,000-year high

    04/13/2014 2:25:27 PM PDT · by Up Yours Marxists · 153 replies
    Haaretz ^ | April 13, 2014 21:11 GMT | Haaretz
    For two consecutive days last week, the amount of carbon dioxide (CO2) in the earth's atmosphere exceeded 402 parts per million (ppm,) higher than at any time in at least the past 800,000 years, according to the U.S. National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration. Carbon dioxide levels tend to peak in May, which means that they are likely to rise even more. According to an article in Mashable, a news and tech website, the latest figures "put humans into uncharted territory." Just last month, the UN Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change released a damning report that illustrated the growing dangers of...
  • Movie for a Sunday afternoon: "Bedtime Story"(1964)

    04/13/2014 2:15:43 PM PDT · by ReformationFan · 10 replies
    You Tube ^ | 1964 | Ralph Levy
  • The New Liberal Excuse,"It's An Ongoing Investigation",So I Cannot Answer That Question.

    04/13/2014 1:38:54 PM PDT · by Cruz_West_Paul2016 · 15 replies
    Benghazi?Didn't Barry say that "It Was An Ongoing Investigation"?,and with Eric Holder recently?Didn't he also use the same excuse?,Has Hillary ever used it when she was backed into a corner?So instead of answering a very simple Yes or No Question,all we are getting lately is,"I Cannot Answer That Question At This Time Being It's An Ongoing Investigation".So will Lois Lerner use that excuse next time she gets grilled?.And the Democrats see the Republicans as the incompetent party?Have they taken notice that all Republicans and Conservatives have no problem answering any political question on any news outlet?
  • People Are Obsessed With The Video Game 'Goat Simulator,' Where You Play As A Goat

    04/13/2014 8:43:26 AM PDT · by Pearls Before Swine · 10 replies
    On April 1, a new game called Goat Simulator was released, and for obvious reasons, everyone thought it was a joke. But this was no April foolery. Back in February, a YouTube video for the game — initially just a joke prototype — racked up more than 2 million views. As with all amazing things on the Internet, there was so much interest in the video, that developer Coffee Stain Studios released it as an actual, playable game. Gameplay is fairly simple: you run around and get points by head-butting things to destroy them. (excerpt)
  • Hilarious Car Dealership Outwitting Labor Union Tactics — And This Video May Just Be the Victory Lap

    04/13/2014 5:09:32 AM PDT · by rktman · 30 replies
    The Blaze ^ | 4/12/2014 | Dave Urbanski
    Subaru of Wichita couldn’t help but notice that a union banner was looking a little lonely outside the dealership, so last month the folks in the lot figured they would keep the union sign company and make things more interesting:
  • 33 People That Had One Job and Failed

    04/12/2014 3:05:13 AM PDT · by lilyramone · 12 replies
    Bored Panda ^ | 04-10-14 | " Skirmantė "
    Mass-produced products like toys, food and clothing are usually made in factories by huge machines that work with cold, mechanical precision. However, whether a product is made by a machine or a human, there’s always plenty of room for (hilarious) error, which is why I’ve collected this list of 33 “you had one job” fails. Although most of the pictures below present manufacturer fails, some of them show how inattentive or tired workers fail to perform their duties right. Such oversights occasionally have the potential to be dangerous, but other times they just wind up looking funny!
  • Poetry Corner: Ode to Harry Reid

    04/11/2014 6:14:27 PM PDT · by VRW Conspirator · 12 replies
    4-11-14 | Moi
    Inspiration: Now there is a Senator Harry Reid, Who will perform any low, dirty deed, He is owned by the mob Your grandma he’ll rob, To give his granddaughter a gift of greed
  • Curly of the Three Stooges: The Funniest Guy in the World

    04/11/2014 1:20:44 PM PDT · by virgil283 · 61 replies
    neatorama ^ | Thursday, April 10, 2014 at 5:02 AM | Miss Cellania
    "Curly's trademark excited yelps of 'woob woob woob,” his dog barks, his compliant “Soitenly,” and his brisk face washes (where he is excited and smooths his hands up and down over his face, briskly, over and over) were loved- and happily expected- by his legions of fans. Curly was what Moe called a "slow study,” meaning he simply couldn't remember lines very well. One day, Moe watched as Curly forgot his line in a scene. As Moe recalled, "his eyes rolled back, he fell on the floor and started spinning around like a top." And thus, the “Curly spin" was...
  • 10 rules of an incompetent professional

    04/11/2014 8:34:49 AM PDT · by Kartographer · 16 replies
    LinkedIn ^ | 4/10/14 | Pedro Amador
    I would like to share the best rules that place ignorance at the most unsuspected limits. I’m positive you’ll recognize someone close to you who appears to be a true professional but who, in reality, isn’t anything more than an unqualified beginner. These are, in my opinion the most important rules:
  • ***THE OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD***

    04/11/2014 5:49:04 AM PDT · by Lucky9teen · 90 replies
    You’re probably already aware of the phrase, “kids say the darndest things.” Well, it is a saying for good reason. Our little proteges, whether they are toddlers or teens, are more aware and clever than most people give them credit for. Their growing minds are like sponges (with attitudes). So don’t be surprised if you ever discover how awesomely hilarious some children are.You’re not convinced? Well, here’s 25 awesome examples.1.) Simple, elegant and hilarious. 2.) Fair point. 3.) Well, he’s not wrong. 4.) Now THAT’S how you math. 5.) Touche. 6.) A+ 7.) That teacher is heartless. 8.) I love...
  • Today's Toons 4/11/14

    04/11/2014 1:22:33 AM PDT · by pookie18 · 17 replies
    The Briefing Room ^ | 4/11/14 | pookie18
    Click on link.
  • Staubach: Draft Manziel over Clowney

    04/10/2014 5:40:04 AM PDT · by Bender2 · 17 replies
    Staubach: Draft Manziel over Clowney If Roger Staubach were on the clock with the No. 1 pick in the NFL draft, there's no doubt in his mind that he'd take quarterback Johnny Manziel over defensive end Jadeveon Clowney. --SNIP-- "I think Manziel is a Russell Wilson-type player," Staubach said Wednesday on the NFL Network. "He doesn't have the height, (but) he has a strong arm and he throws with accuracy. "... I just think there's something about this kid - the quickness. Today in the league, the quarterbacks can fly; we weren't allowed to do that. I think Manziel is...
  • Today's Toons 4/10/14

    04/10/2014 1:21:33 AM PDT · by pookie18 · 19 replies
    The Briefing Room ^ | 4/10/14 | pookie18
    Click on link.
  • Topless mom arrested for McDonald's rampage says she was NOT on drugs

    04/09/2014 8:40:05 PM PDT · by Tolerance Sucks Rocks · 63 replies
    The Daily Mail ^ | April 8, 2014 | Daily Mail Reporters
    A 41-year-old mother-of-two who was caught on camera ransacking a Florida McDonald's wearing nothing but a thong has spoken out about her rampage, saying she does not remember anything about the incident but was not under the influence of drugs or alcohol at the time.
  • Things I Learned While Watching 'The Great Gatsby'

    04/09/2014 6:33:56 PM PDT · by PJ-Comix · 18 replies
    IMDB ^ | April 9, 2014 | PJ-Comix
    1. Daisy Buchanan is not worrrrthy!!! 2. If you pick a rich drunken yachtsmen as a mentor, all he will leave you with is the annoying affection of calling people, “old sport.” 3. Fixing a World Series is a tremendous business opportunity. 4. Beware of women named Myrtle. 5. If you want to impress people with your importance, have a grim looking guy loudly whisper the names of cities into your ear. 6. Polo players hate being identified as polo players. 7. Hip-Hop music was popular in the 1920s. 8. F. Scott Fitzgerald plagiarized his novel from Nick Carraway. 9....
  • Freep a Poll! (Which U.S. president was the worst thug?)

    04/09/2014 1:46:14 PM PDT · by dynachrome · 49 replies
    headlineoftheday.com ^ | 4-8-14 | Head line of the day
    Which U.S. president was the worst thug? Richard Nixon Woodrow Wilson Barack Obama
  • Anyone Recognize This Cat? It Could Be Fifi Reincarnated.

    04/09/2014 11:04:03 AM PDT · by OneVike · 26 replies
    4/9/14
    Everyone who knows me, knows that I am a die hard Evangelical Christian. I believe that when a Christian dies, they go to be with the Lord. Paul said it so eloquently in his second epistle to the Corinthians. 8:5, "We are confident, yes, well pleased rather to be absent from the body and to be present with the Lord." So, I do not believe in reincarnation. However, if ever there were a moment one might question the theory of reincarnation, this may be one.
  • Interview not going according to plan

    04/09/2014 8:16:40 AM PDT · by navysealdad · 14 replies
    Now this is not what to do during an interview. Be Careful!
  • Today's Toons 4/9/14

    04/09/2014 1:22:09 AM PDT · by pookie18 · 13 replies
    The Right Reasons ^ | 4/9/14 | pookie18
    Click on link.
  • Celebrities That Look Like Mattresses (photo gallery with descriptions)

    04/08/2014 11:48:01 AM PDT · by EveningStar · 9 replies
    Facebook - Walthamstow (unofficial) Tourist Board ^ | March 21, 2012 to present | Warpdog
    Celebrities desperate to get the Walthamstow look
  • Farewell, Archie: Beloved comic book character to die

    04/08/2014 8:37:01 AM PDT · by MissTed · 79 replies
    CNN ^ | 4/8/14 | Henry Hanks
    Since 1941, comic book fans have followed the exploits of teenaged Archie Andrews and his friends. This July, they'll find out how he dies. "Life With Archie" #36 hits stores on July 16, and CNN can reveal exclusively that it tells the story of how Archie sacrifices himself to save a friend. Few details are known, but it seems fitting that Archie would go out a hero. The 37th issue one week later will end the series. The "Life With Archie" series has been telling the stories of possible future Archie scenarios for the past few years, and so Archie...
  • Today's Toons 4/8/14

    04/08/2014 3:34:35 AM PDT · by pookie18 · 19 replies
    The Right Reasons ^ | 4/8/14 | pookie18
    Click on link.