Humor (General/Chat)
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Instructions: Dum & Dummer is an exciting board game for multiple players. You start the game as a curious, moderately intelligent student about six. The object of the game is to be dumbed down. Don't worry, you will win. Congratulations! Winning is good for your self-esteem. To maximize your chances, simply follow these simple strategies: Don't learn any basic knowledge. (Who needs it?) Don't learn to do arithmetic. (Boring!) Don't read. (Why bother?) Don't learn geography. (What's that got to do with you?) Don't learn any history. (That's so lame.) Don't learn any science. (It's way too hard.) Don't learn...
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A funny series of communications exchanged between a neighbor who put up a bright spot light shining into his neighbors bedroom window and very witty neighbor with a sense of humor.
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Running a slinky continuously down a treadmill.
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Romney has visited Texas several times during the primary. Not to sell his vision for the country, but more as an ATM stop. Legal experts we contacted agreed this could be considered 'messin with Texas' in a court of law. Most are aware of the risks you run when messin with Sasquatch. So why do people continue to insist on 'messin with Texas'? And more to the point, why do politicians even entertain the thought. Ok he 'messed with Texas', big deal? Well it is a big deal, you can't 'mess with Texas' without messin with Louisiana.
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Matthews is tired of "horse's ass right wingers asking him about his thrill up his leg comment.
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For many....School is out for summer and it's on to a 3 day weekend (for most).... So get your grill on Maybe hit the beach scene Or hang out poolside Or maybe staying inside and watching the tube is your thing? But, whatever you do... JUST BE SILLY!!! And don't forget the ice cream!!
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One of my all time favourites. Click for video
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Do you think President Obama will ask VP Biden to stay on the ticket for 2012 race? yes - he is loyal to VP Biden and believes him to be a strong VP no - he will try and get him off the ticket and pick someone else
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I had somehow forgotten that Winston Churchill’s grandmother was one-quarter Iroquois indian, which makes Winston (if I’ve done my genealogical math correctly) one-sixteenth native American–twice as much as Elizabeth Warren supposedly is. Let’s see the diversity-mongers explain this away. Roosevelt commented to Churchill during one of WSC’s wartime visits, “You know, Winston, my Dutch ancestors were among the very first settlers in what was then called Nieuw Amsterdam.” Churchill answered: “But, Franklin, it was my ancestors, the American Indians, who greeted them.” Maybe now Obama will feel comfortable putting the Churchill bust back in the Oval Office.
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U.S. President Barack Obama (L) talks to Secretary General of NATO Anders Fogh Rasmussen (C), British Prime Minister David Cameron (R), French President Francois Hollande (upper L) and German Chancellor Angela Merkel (upper C) before posing for a family photo at the NATO Summit in Chicago, May 20, 2012
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Ray is a good Conservative radio host back east. Check here for this helpful notice to provide to folks who may have had an Obama sticker placed on their vehicle. LOL. http://www.rayjuniorshow.com/free-downloads/good-samaritan.pdf
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A half-naked woman wearing hot pink duct tape attacked and injured three police officers in a bizarre incident Saturday night outside a lower Queen Anne bar, police said. The outlandish drama began at about 8 p.m., when the woman began stripping off her clothes inside the bar and sticking hot pink duct tape on her upper body, said Seattle police spokeswoman Renee Witt. The bartender ordered her to leave the bar, but she refused. She then grabbed the bartender's arm, injuring him. After that, she attacked another female customer by clawing and scratching her face and eyes, Witt said.
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Rare moment of comedy when Republican Governor Chris Christie does a Seinfield-like video with Democrat Newark Mayor Cory Booker.
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RPFCkSglgd0 and many others.. Right in der proffit's face!
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Two men were having coffee, when one of them said: "Last night, my son just walked into the living room and said, 'Dad, cancel my allowance immediately, rent my room out, throw all my clothes out of the window, take my TV, stereo, iPhone, iPod, and my laptop. Please give my jewelry to the Salvation Army or Goodwill. Then sell my car. Take my front door key away from me and throw me out of the house. Then disown me and never talk to me again. And don't forget to write me out of your will and leave my share...
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We all ready see the writing on the wall,and who wasn't surprised when the DOW kept dropping all week?.It's the six month period before the election and very few employers will hire or expand throughout this period.In late August,many seasonal employers will lay off in the northeast.Florida employment will be stagnant till November.The economy is likely to be worse and real unemployment will still be around 11%.So What Will Debbie Wasserman,Joe Biden and Obama Boast&Brag About When Their Time Comes At The Podium ??
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An amusing letter from former President Ronald Reagan in response to a 13-year-old boy's request for disaster relief funds to clean up his room is making the rounds again on social media, thanks to a blog writer. Shaun Usher of Letters of Note tweeted the classic correspondence. Seventh-grader Andy Smith from Irmo, South Carolina, wrote Reagan in 1984: "Today my mother declared my bedroom a disaster area. I would like to request federal funds to hire a crew to clean up my room."...
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It’s part of the new stage show “Old Jews Telling Jokes.” Old Jews? Old news! Milton Berle, George Burns and Jack Benny. Those are three old Jews telling jokes. And I spent seven years with Irving Brecher, who wrote for all of them. When I helped him write his memoirs, he wanted to call it “Scripts & Crypts,” because he said, “What’s funnier than death?” Irv had a book called "The Encyclopedia of Jewish Humor" that had 14 pages of death jokes, and he took me to some of the funniest funerals ever, for Morey Amsterdam, Buddy Hackett and Jan...
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Here's a clip from Vice President Joe Biden's interview with WTOV-TV in West Virginia yesterday, the latest stop he's made this week, where he was asked about what he made of out-of-state incarcerated felon Keith Judd getting roughly 40 percent of the vote against President Obama in the recent Democratic primary: “Look, I come from a household where whenever there’s a recession, somebody around my grand-pop or my dad’s table lost a job. "
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The attached Obama short speech was delivered spontaneously & without the aid of his ubiquitous teleprompter, apparently while vacationing at Camp David. Listen carefully to his words. Credit where credit is due, he actually makes more sense than anything else he has said in almost three years as President and two years prior to that while on the campaign.
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Obama In History World Changing Events You Didn't Know Obama Played A Part In Obama Guest Lecturing With Einstein Obama: The Hidden Genius Behind Microsoft Obama And Nixon Meet Elvis Obama With The Beatles On The Ed Sullivan Show Obama Launching The Bay Of Pigs Obama At The Fall Of The Berlin Wall Obama Leading The Troops Across The Delaware Obama At Stonehenge Obama Witnessing The Surrender Of Japan On The USS Missouri Obama Attending Napoleon's Coronation Obama With Roosevelt's Rough Riders Obama Landing In The New World With Columbus Obama Celebrating V-J Day In Times Square Obama Aiding...
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Have you ever noticed that most politicians are dorks? I think dorks are drawn to politics because they feel like....dorks; and being a famous politician helps them get over their dorkism. They also have to makeup laws and regulations; to protect us from life, all together this country passes about 40,000 every year. Sooner or later they will run out of things to ban, make illegal or add some bureaucracy to, and of course tax everything. A loaf of bread by the time you eat it experiences 110 different taxes. In ten years there will be 400,000 new laws from...
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CAUTION -- NSFW nor tender ears! But it is pretty funny.... http://youtu.be/5eLELOBuT-Q
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A woman defended herself with a "pooper scooper" for nearly a half-an-hour while a man tried to hit her with another pooper scooper in Plymouth Pilliars Park early Thursday, according to the Seattle Police Department. Police say the woman was with her dog at park, near Boren Avenue and Pike Street, around 2 a.m. when a man approached her complaining she was making too much noise, which he said was keeping his friend from sleeping. He then picked up a pooper scooper and began swinging it at the woman, trying to hit her, according to police. Police say the woman...
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U.S. President Barack Obama pauses before he delivers the commencement address for the 2012 graduating class at Barnard College in New York May 14, 2012.
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Last week Time magazine's cover brought the breastfeeding and attachment parenting debate into the national spotlight. This week it was Newsweek's turn to stir up controversy, with its cover on the First Gay President. Time magazine not only brought attention to the attachment parenting movement, it also inspired conversation on using provocative images and copy to revive the ailing print industry. Many critics are calling this issue a "stroke of genius" and "an example of print well done," including magazine expert Samir Husni. Newsweek came out with its controversial copy and image combo just a few days later, with similar...
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Men everywhere can relate. Not Mine. Just what I picked up off the internet. Feel free to add your own. I don't think you have enough guns and ammo. What if something happens. Let's dedicate at least $10K for that this year. I'm really good at making decisions. I'll take out the garbage, you've done it for 5 years. I don't want a real diamond engagement ring, waste of money and at least a few poor Africans probably died mining for it. Sports are so fun to watch! You win [the argument] Why yes, I AM upset. Let me explain...
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`Twas Freepthon, and the VanityPosts Were sidebarred into the chattyroom pot. The servers churnt, the n00bs were toast, And the Admins KittyZot. "Beware the HumbleGumby, my son! The text that rages, the phrases that bit! Beware the albaby beeber of stune, And the sleaxy Lazamataz hit." He took his 'board and mouse in hand Long time the irrascid foe he sought, So rested he by the BreakinBar, And stood awhile in thought. And, as in moddish thought he read, The HumbleGumby, with words of flame, Came churling through the blarzly thread, And yarbled as it came! One, two! One, two!...
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Cute and amazing video of Ashleigh and Pudsey contestants in Britains Got Talent TV Show.
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We all know that Obama re-evolved to his 1996 stance in favor of gay marriage. We also all know that he came out for gay marriage again 12 years later (with a slight devolutionary back-step in 2008 when he felt marriage was a man-woman thing ). We also all know that he did it pure and simple for the money and donors. One out of six of his bundlers are homosexual. I happen to think that Obama knows that coming out openly for gay marriage puts the lid on his election chances. But I also think that after the West...
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Pres Lee Myungbak of S. Korea is being condemned in so many ways: His caricature drawings are: burned attacked by kids at elementary school His effigy is mauled by attack dogs
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Danish princess strikes her "popular gal" posture
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This is another “Classic Rock Meets Classic TV” segment: … I’ve been a puppet, a pauper, a pirate, a poet, a pawn and a king. Marty Ingels longevity in show business may be depicted by those unfeigned lyrics written by Dean Kay and Kelly Gordon and popularized by the "Chairman of the Board," Frank Sinatra. View slideshow: Marty Ingels has appeared in over 100 TV shows and feature films The multi-talented Marty Ingels has contributed to the entertainment world in various manners. Gumption, perseverance, and a chance encounter with legends Carl Reiner and Sheldon Leonard, landed the kid from Brooklyn...
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OK, so there are these three guys in the hospital, and they’re very bad off, and the doctor is making the rounds. He goes over to the first patient, a Catholic, and explains that there’s nothing more he can do medically for him and asks him his last wish. “I’d like to see a priest and make a confession,” the man says. The doctor says fine, and moves on to the next patient, a Protestant. And when the doctor asks him his last wish, the poor guy says, “I’d like to see my family and say good-bye.” So the doctor...
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Entering the East 55th Street headquarters of the Friars Club so instantly divorces visitors from the world outside that the club's house historian, Barry Dougherty, uses science fiction to describe the effect. "Did you ever see the movie 'The Time Machine,' with Rod Taylor?" Mr. Dougherty said recently. "He's sitting in this contraption that's like a bullet train through time. Trees are growing, trees are dying, buildings are growing... That's what it's like here. Skyscrapers have gone up next to us, buildings have been knocked down across the street from us, and yet here we sit." Over more than a...
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There are some that believe the downfall of our once great and free nation is largely due to the proliferation of women in positions of power which were only religated to men in days of old. These women supposedly are allowing for the all manner of the evil to take place. My answer to that is, to discuss women's role in the very real and almost complete socialist takeover of our country, minus the man's role in allowing that to happen, is really the real reason we are losing so much of the battle! It is a man's inflated ego...
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We have a real problem with the conservative side being represented at too often as a characture of what a real loving and honest conservative is, often by talk show hosts. I won't name names, but when we come off like an Archie Bunker, hardened type, it actually does our side a lot of harm! When I hear one talk show host claiming that it is the women taking over positions of power and that they cannot make sound decisions, latter changing the facts and saying now only liberal women; yet not including the fact that mans misuse of women...
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<p>Twilight Zone Day is mysterious, weird, surreal and perhaps a little scary. We can think of many other adjectives, but I think you get the picture. Every once in a while, you have a day like this. And, today is designed to be that day.</p>
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