Humor (General/Chat)
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White House officials insist that President Obama knew nothing about the IRS scandal until we all heard about it in the news last week. They said because there was an investigation under way, it would have been inappropriate to tell him. And besides, he was too busy not knowing anything about Benghazi. ~ Jay LenoThese White House scandals are not going away any time soon. I’ll tell you how bad it’s looking for President Obama: People in Kenya are now saying he’s 100 percent American. ~ Jay LenoYesterday, the Senate minority leader, Mitch McConnell, charged that there’s a culture...
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Ate some roast beef and taters with gravy, took my BP meds and took a nap, woke up and y'all had busted the forum!LEAVE THE BUTTONS ALONE!!
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Ladies? Don't make him laugh. Asked who his favorite female comics were Thursday at a Cannes Film Festival press conference, Jerry Lewis listed Cary Grant and Burt Reynolds. He then added: "I don't have any." In 1998, Lewis famously said that watching women do comedy "sets me back a bit" and that he has trouble with the notion of would-be mothers as comedians.
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After a year off the air, Keith Olbermann has been emailing the heads of various TV networks looking for a job, including Phil Griffin at MSNBC, Emir Al Thani at Al Jazeera and Robert Mugabe of Zimbabwe state television. The Daily Caller has obtained these exchanges, and they are reprinted here for the first time, in their entirety, and without comment. * TO: Phil Griffin, MSNBC President * TO: Emir Al Thani of Qatar * TO: Robert Mugabe, President of Zimbabwe
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The city of Atlanta (Motto: “Home of the airport where you changed planes last Christmas”) has installed a roundabout at a rather busy intersection near my house. This is highly entertaining if you’re watching from a safe distance, such as a nearby restaurant patio, or possibly South Carolina. But actually driving in this roundabout is the closest most Atlantans come every day to serious injury, or at least a rather large fender dent. We all know it’s true: Americans aren’t fond of roundabouts. In fact, a new survey says 93 percent of Americans would rather stub their toe on furniture...
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We wanted to find out if chocolate bullets would make the country a happier place. You be the judge. The shooter is Matt from JackIsMyCopilot channel. Thank you for your assistance!
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Meet Taylor Powers. The college student, 21, had to be rescued yesterday afternoon off a Colorado mountain after she ingested mushrooms, stripped off her clothes, and scuffled with two classmates with whom she had been hiking. After receiving a 911 call that a female hiker was “high on mushrooms and in distress,” Boulder County Sheriff’s Office deputies and other assorted rescue personnel (35 in total) responded to Chautauqua Park. Powers, seen above, was located by a park ranger who discovered that the University of Colorado undergrad had “removed all of her clothing and was being restrained” by two male companions....
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Tigers, Lions, Leopards, all cat species can catch fleas, so at Big Cat Rescue we have to treat all of our 100+ residents with flea prevention just like your domestic cat at home every single month! It's expensive and hard work to keep the cats flea free and happy at the sanctuary! Watch our volunteer vet Dr. Liz Wynn cover the 55 acres and treat all of our cats.
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To prove that the U.S news media “distort the truth and mislead the public opinion to curry favor with power,” a North Korean newspaper used Helen Thomas’s 2010 retirement as an example. Only problem is that Thomas (pictured right) was once a female columnist for Hearst Newspapers, not a man.
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Presented with no comment...
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Nine minutes worth of a great juggling comedian with Ronald and Nancy Reagan, etux...
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Ever since he announced he was stepping down as Tonight Show host Jay Leno has seemingly been harder on Barack Obama. Well on Monday's Tonight Show with Jay Leno that trend continued as Leno featured a clip of schoolchildren peppering the President with the tough questions that the press should be hammering him with on a daily basis. The following bit was aired on the May 20 edition of NBC's The Tonight Show with Jay Leno: Watch Video Here JAY LENO: Actually President Obama made a surprise visit to a school in Baltimore on Friday. And these kids, you know...
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This conveys the top 10 mall ninja guns of our time, in all their bonerific glory. What is a mall ninja you may ask? Pretty much anyone who is pissing themselves over the release of Modern Warfare 2 and masturbating to their $200+ Marui airsoft gun. Read more: http://www.cracked.com/funny-2939-top-10-mall-ninja-guns/#ixzz2TrM89Bx2
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If you’re planning on being amorous with a married woman try to make sure her husband doesn’t arrive home halfway through and force you to climb through a window like this man reportedly had to do. A video released on YouTube shows a distressed lothario making his getaway through a window while a couple fight on a balcony next to him. The man, who was only dressed in white boxers, eventually had to jump onto an inflatable pad put out by firefighters. The situation itself was excruciating enough without the added embarrassment of having an audience and everyone cheering his...
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In an accident in which a semi plunged into a ravine near the Ohio Valley Mall, a fight broke out between a mall security guard and a woman taking photos of the accident. Note that the security guard is the aggressor.
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On May 5, Milton Berle’s joke files—four cabinets holding thousands of 3x5 cards, indexed by subject—will be sold in Los Angeles. The comedian, who died in 2002, had a decades-long career in show biz, working in vaudeville, night clubs, films, radio, and finally and most famously on television. Berle’s live variety show “Texaco Star Theater” was the highest-rated program on TV in the late 1940s. The show was the first “appointment television”: Local businesses reported empty shops and restaurants during its airing, and cities experienced drops in water pressure in the five minutes after it was over, as everyone who...
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"Rows 1-6 only have to bring rolls.....Hopefully someone remembers the butter"...."All fares are freewill offering, and the plane will not land till the budget is met."..."In dee event of a vatering landing....I'd say, forget it. Saying the Lord's pray is the only ting to do....and you just hope dat you get to da part about Forgive us our sins as ve forgive dose who sin against us, which some people say trespass against us vhich isn't right but.... vat can ya do."......Now, yust because our clergy wear collars, dat's not a reason to be callin' anybody "fadder." Yust use "pastor"...
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t's Star Trek vs. Star Wars in the skies over San Francisco! Which would win in a battle, the Death Star or the Enterprise? Let us know in the comments! After Star Trek IV, the crew of the Enterprise needed more whales, so they came back to San Francisco again, except this time it's an alternate universe where Reagan's Star Wars defense initiative from the 80's is coming to fruition as the Death Star nears completion (superlaser already fully operational). Star Wars is our military
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So, I woke up this morning, and the birds were singing, the sun was shining and all was right in the world. The high today is supposed to be 78°, with a slight chance of cooling. I drove into work, where everyone is paid according to their ability, and I didn't see any illegals anywhere, because they've all been deported and the new Immigration laws have closed our borders and made sure no one can or will break the laws to get in illegally again. And it especially helps since they put in that new moat with alligators down there......
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I hope Mathis doesn’t owe any Taxes, because I am sure an audit is coming his way now. He is straight on Instagram flexing, Bleacher Report captured the photo before Chip Kelly makes him take it down and drink a protein shake (no more fast food at the Eagles camp). Mathis is one of those quirky offensive lineman who has been around the block in the NFL, so I can’t say I am surprise. Also the IRS has been in the news for some suspect behavior, so I believe he is trying to send a message. I think it is...
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Wednesday morning, Glenn Beck asked his radio audience for possible names for the basket of scandals facing the Obama administration (Benghazi, IRS Intimidation, AP Phone Records). Beck requested that Twitter users post their suggestions on the social media site using the hashtag #oscandalnames. The hashtag started trending worldwide almost immediately. Obamas Scandals Need A Soundtrack Heres Our List Several good names were posted online, but no official scandal name has been selected by Beck and his crew. That idea sparked some on TheBlaze edit staff to wonder about a soundtrack for the scandals. A list of pop hits from the...
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Everyone knows that sometimes the strangest animals can become friends, but this kitten is having none of it. When he meets the house lizards he doesn't even know what to do with them. So he overreacts. A lot. Thankfully the lizards just wait him out and eventually the cat gives himself a timeout off camera.
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Young woman explained that “food is free, all you have to do is pay the farmers” — but I think the “vegetable trees” was the best.
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LeSean McCoy faces lawsuit ESPN.com news services Updated by Dan Graziano: May 14, 2013, 6:30 PM ET New Jersey State Police are investigating an incident along the New Jersey Turnpike in which a woman was left at a service area after she said she was riding on a party bus with a group of people that included Philadelphia Eagles running back LeSean McCoy. --snip-- According to the complaint, McCoy sprayed the people on the bus with water. When the plaintiff complained, McCoy told his bodyguard, "Big John," to "get her." "Big John and/or McCoy then struck plaintiff in the face,...
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Hey Obama, we know you love to spend our money on yourself so.... Just declare yourself a national disaster and you can spend away. Because you totally are a disaster.... Totally!
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White House West Wing evacuated briefly because of smoke Reporters and photographers were evacuated early Saturday after smoke was seen coming from Smoke coming from an overheated transformer in a mechanical room closet, officials said. No one was injured, and people were allowed back into the building after an hour. WASHINGTON — Reporters and photographers were evacuated briefly from the West Wing of the White House early Saturday because of smoke from an overheated transformer in a mechanical room. President Barack Obama and his family were not affected by the incident, according to the White House. U.S. Secret Service spokesman...
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There is a report of smoke emanating from an electrical closet at the Whitehouse. Situation is under control, no significant damage or injuries reported. But my Intel is telling me that Schieffer and Gregory are taking no chances and are lining up witnesses to discuss the situation for the full hour of their Sunday shows as there is little else going on in the news this week. OK,OK only the first part of this post is true, but you know Jarrett is frantically working on wagging that Dog.
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The diary of sad cats everywhere :(
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A halal lamb burger made by a company supplying Leicester schools contained up to 50% pork, the city council has confirmed. The products were made by Doncaster-based Paragon Quality Foods Limited, which said it had never knowingly bought or handled pork. The discovery was made on 18 April and the product was withdrawn but details only became public on Thursday. A DNA test found the burger contained between 10 and 50% pork.
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Days after Miley Cyrus inadvertently leaked the news that she was named No.1 on Maxim's annual Hot 100 list, the magazine confirmed her place at the top of the hottie heap. In An inside image shows the "Party in the USA" singer looking all grown-up, lying on her stomach in a seductive pose, wearing a gold one-piece swimsuit, her short blonde hair slicked down against her head and an array of gold bangles and chains adorning her wrist and neck. "This pixie-haired beauty brings it home for America, storming to the top spot the first week of voting and never...
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Clean Up Your Room Day When: Always on May 10th Clean Up Your Room Day is a day parents eagerly await........... and kids dread! If you've got kids, it is very possible that their rooms are a vast wasteland, completely filled with "good stuff". "Messy" is too kind of an adjective to describe the conditions. Its impossible to walk through the room. Every dresser and shelf (and under the bed), is packed with everything imaginable. Dust has been piling up as long as your child has been around. Comfy, cozy, and quite livable to the child, its an everyday...
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To: Ted Cruz Date: May 6, 2013 My dear friend, I feel like we’ve started off on the wrong foot. Although there have been many times this Congress that I’ve longed to feel your soft face pressed helplessly against my knuckles, a lifetime of service has taught me that, with effort, I can forgive almost any slight for the good of the country. Please consider this note an olive branch, and realize that any suggestions come from a place a friendship. (excerpt) --------------------------------------- From: Ted Cruz To: John McCain Date: May 7, 2013 Well, senator, I think it’s about time...
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This is footage to remind all to be kind and neighborly because it is a good thing.
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At the Fresno Grizzlies game on May 3, 2013, we learn that not every relationship was meant to be put on the Jumbo-tron, but they all have a happy ending when Parker, the official mascot of the Fresno Grizzlies is there to help mend a broken heart.
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Camera focuses on man and woman during a game. He's on a cell phone and blows her off. She is not amused.
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An indecent exposure citation was reported Wednesday on the 400 block of Nancy Pelosi Drive in San Francisco. The city renamed Middle Drive East, which connects Martin Luther King Jr. Drive and John F. Kennedy Drive, after the House minority leader last year. “When I heard about it I said, ‘No, no, please don’t do that. I’m embarrassed, please don’t do that,’” Pelosi said at the ceremony last year, “until I heard that it was between JFK and MLK Jr. Drive and then I thought, ‘Well, I would like to go there and bear witness to the greatness of those...
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"That’s the opinion of Rob Duncan, vice chancellor of research at the University of Missouri. He is in the early stages of pitching a plan to establish a national research program that would help scientists study tabletop energy....... “Without a nationally funded program, you’re going to be limited by the scope of what you can do,” he said....... Duncan is optimistic higher-ups might be willing to pay attention, even in tight budget times. At a conference in August, representatives from the Naval Research Laboratory presented findings from several experiments where excess heat was produced in a laboratory."....... (this article was...
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