Free Republic 4th Quarter Fundraising Target: $88,000 Receipts & Pledges to-date: $9,333
Woo hoo!! And the first 10% is in!! Thank you all very much!!

Humor (General/Chat)

Brevity: Headers | « Text »
  • So They Want To Ban Guns?,Then Lets Just Ban Home Depot,Lowes & Sporting Goods Too.

    10/09/2015 4:36:20 PM PDT · by Cruz_West_Paul2016 · 25 replies
    The sheer stupidity of the far left. We all know that if a lunatic needs a weapon, he will make one or go shopping for the parts or tools. Needless to say, but wish someone would bring this up. You Walk Into Any Tools/Hardware Dept. of any retailer, you are surrounded by deadly weapons. Go into a sporting goods store, hey! Nice Bat/Golf Club you got there! {Ask Tiger Woods,he's the expert}. Can anyone just imagine some thug going into a Home Depot tools dept. and asking to see those nail guns that are locked up? And don't forget Wal-Mart!...

    10/09/2015 6:27:44 AM PDT · by Lucky9teen · 103 replies
    Come at me...************Mike Portnoy "Name That Tune" on Hello Kitty Drum Kit ****** These 25 facts you’re about to read sound totally false, but go ahead and check for yourself. #1. Russia has a larger surface area than Pluto.#2. Oxford University is older than the Aztec Empire.#3. France was still executing people by guillotine when Star Wars: A New Hope hit theatres.#4. Nintendo was originally a trading card company.#5. If the sun were the size of a white blood cell then the Milky Way Galaxy would be the size of the United States.#6. There are more stars in space...
  • Today's Toons 10/9/15

    10/09/2015 1:26:40 AM PDT · by pookie18 · 20 replies
    The Briefing Room ^ | 10/9/15 | pookie18
    Click on link.
  • 5-year-old British boy cannot contain his excitement about becoming a big brother

    10/08/2015 7:49:30 PM PDT · by beaversmom · 18 replies
    You Tube ^ | August 26, 2015 | Alfred Jacobs
    Link: 5-year-old British boy cannot contain his excitement about becoming a big brother
  • The College Football Czar: Week 6

    10/08/2015 6:52:48 PM PDT · by Daniel Clark · 9 replies
    The Shinbone: The Frontier of the Free Press ^ | October 8, 2015 | Daniel Clark
    The College Football Czar: Week 6 Week five in review: The lesson through the first five weeks of the season is that, apparently, nobody is really very good. Four of the Top Ten teams lost last Saturday, while numbers one and two, Ohio State and Michigan State, looked terrible in clinging to victories against conference foes they’d normally be expected to steamroll. Even as parity dominates, there are 20 undefeated teams at this point in the season, partly because most teams had scheduled at least one phony game against a lower-division opponent, and one deliberately uncompetitive game against a small-conference...
  • For Programmers Only

    10/08/2015 10:15:43 AM PDT · by econjack · 85 replies
    Roadkill Tee Shirts ^ | Oct., 2015 | unknown
    I just couldn't resist this:
  • McCarthy drops out!

    10/08/2015 9:33:27 AM PDT · by Cats Pajamas · 5 replies
    Former Congressman Charles Brownson, Indianapolis Republican, used to say, “I never quarrel with a man who buys ink by the barrel.” Maybe McCarthy should not mess with conservative bloggers who have 1's and 0's by the barrel. Sniff.
  • I Think You're The Father of One of My Kids...'

    10/08/2015 8:37:00 AM PDT · by VA Voter · 9 replies
    I Think You're The Father of One of My Kids...' A guy goes to the supermarket and notices a very attractive woman waving at him. She says, 'Hello.' He's rather taken aback because he can't place where he knows her from. So he asks, 'Do you know me?' To which she replies, 'I think you're the father of one of my kids.' Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife. So he asks, 'Are you the stripper from the bachelor party that I made love to on the pool table, with...
  • Texas man lives in front yard after wife kicks him out of mansion

    10/08/2015 8:11:07 AM PDT · by DUMBGRUNT · 42 replies
    Fox News ^ | 8 oct 2015
    Khan is the co-owner of a million-dollar mansion in Houston. At some point, he and his wife had a falling out and he was kicked out of the suburban home and, according to reports, the wife changed the keys. The wife reportedly said she cannot file for divorce due to Islam. The family reportedly adheres to Shariah law.
  • McCarthyism- unfair investigative techniques in order to restrict dissent or political criticism

    McCarthyism is the practice of making accusations of subversion or treason without proper regard for evidence. It also means "the practice of making unfair allegations or using unfair investigative techniques, especially in order to restrict dissent or political criticism."
  • Today's Toons 10/8/15

    10/08/2015 1:23:57 AM PDT · by pookie18 · 21 replies
    The Right Reasons ^ | 10/8/15 | pookie18
    Click on link.
  • A Message from @KevinMcCarthy | The Briefing

    10/07/2015 12:56:59 PM PDT · by Cats Pajamas · 8 replies
    youtube ^ | Oct 7 2015
    Didn't take the f'tards long to get an ad out there with McCarthy in his own words did it?
  • Does Campaign 2016 Resemble a Coen Brothers Comedy?

    10/07/2015 7:59:52 AM PDT · by PJ-Comix · 16 replies
    Self | October 7, 2015 | PJ-Comix
    I had an amazing revelation today early AM. I went to sleep unusually early last night at around 8 P.M.. As often happens when I hit the sack early, I woke up in the middle of the around 1 A.M.. Soooo...I did what I often do, I watched one of the many things recorded on my DVR until I got tired again and return to sleep. In this case, I watched the Coen Brothers comedy, "Burn After Reading," about the intelligence community. After watching the movie, I still wasn't quite tired enough to hit the sack again so I...
  • Today's Toons 10/7/15

    10/07/2015 1:20:07 AM PDT · by pookie18 · 12 replies
    The Right Reasons ^ | 10/7/15 | pookie18
    Click on link.
  • Ten Reasons Why Obama Should be Given a Second Nobel Peace Prize

    10/06/2015 6:32:01 PM PDT · by BBell · 15 replies ^ | Vladimir Golstein
    It is high time to recognize President Obama tireless activity on behalf of world peace with the Second Nobel Peace Prize. Here are ten main reasons why this second Nobel Peace Prize should be awarded.10. By condoning if not encouraging the agencies that spied and eavesdrop on everyone from a common criminal to a President and Kanzler, he reminded the citizen of the world of their common humanity, their sense of brotherhood. Having recognized this, humanity will surely ignore its religious, political, economic, or social differences and will strive for peace.9. He truly achieved Pax Americana – by constantly trying...
  • Six Black Flags over Syria ~ Pre-Hump Day Humor

    10/06/2015 6:05:47 PM PDT · by GraceG · 6 replies
    Doc Thompson Show
    New Middle Eastern Amusement park: Six Black Flags over Syria
  • Burger King’s Halloween Whopper has unexpected side effect

    10/06/2015 1:33:38 PM PDT · by beaversmom · 76 replies
    Fox 31 Denver ^ | October 6, 2015 | CNN Wire
    MIAMI — You don’t have to go to Japan to try Burger King’s black-bunned Whopper. Burger King is bringing it to the U.S. just in time for Halloween. “Something wicked is coming,” the burger chain on Twitter, with a brief promo video featuring thunder and lightning and a lunar eclipse, with a burger standing in for the moon. But it’s not just the color, insists Burger King. It’s also the flavor, with A.1. sauce baked into the bun. According to Burger King, it’s the sauce that turns the buns black. “While the pitch-black bun gives the Halloween Whopper sandwich a...
  • NFL Week 5 Live Thread

    10/06/2015 3:47:43 AM PDT · by Bender2 · 50 replies
    ESPN ^ | ESPN
    WEEK 5 Oct. 8 Indianapolis Colts at Houston Texans 8:25 Oct. 11 Washington Redskins at Atlanta Falcons 1 Cleveland Browns at Baltimore Ravens 1 Seattle Seahawks at Cincinnati Bengals 1 St. Louis Rams at Green Bay Packers 1 Chicago Bears at Kansas City Chiefs 1 New Orleans Saints at Philadelphia Eagles 1 Jacksonville Jaguars at Tampa Bay Buccaneers 1 Buffalo Bills at Tennessee Titans 1 Arizona Cardinals at Detroit Lions 4:05 New England Patriots at Dallas Cowboys 4:25 Denver Broncos at Oakland Raiders 4:25 San Francisco 49ers at New York Giants* 8:30 Oct. 12 Pittsburgh Steelers at San Diego Chargers...
  • Today's Toons 10/6/15

    10/06/2015 1:20:58 AM PDT · by pookie18 · 9 replies
    The Right Reasons ^ | 10/6/15 | pookie18
    Click on link.
  • Raymond Chandler: a Tale of Two Detectives

    10/05/2015 5:07:41 PM PDT · by BruceDeitrickPrice · 18 replies ^ | Sept 19, 2015 | Bruce Deitrick Price
    I went to Manhattan to be a novelist and took the whole project very seriously. You know, in that pretentious way that young writers do. But somebody recommended The Big Sleep to me and I was totally charmed. This is the opposite of highbrow literature. It's a lively crime story told in street-level English, with slang and hyperbolic metaphors. The hero is a tough-guy private investigator, a knight on a white horse as Raymond Chandler himself explained. People come to him with their problems and the PI makes justice prevail. Raymond Chandler wrote a half-dozen outstanding novels starring his famous...
  • Semi truck Driver Tackles Historic South Carolina Flooding (title shortened)

    10/05/2015 1:37:10 PM PDT · by Cowman · 10 replies
    the Blaze ^ | 10/5/2015 | Liz Klimas
    Video at link
  • This Issue Is Complicated (53 "Gun Free" Chicago...) [Please +1 pic if you have acct]

    10/05/2015 12:53:41 PM PDT · by beaversmom · 6 replies
    IMGUR ^ | October 5, 2013 | icanthinkofusername
    Link to pic This is a pic I came across on IMGUR earlier today. If you have an Imgur account, please upvote. Imgur is a fun site for pics and gifs, but it runs whiny, silly liberal so it's important to support people that are not touting the leftist line.
  • "Hello, this is Lenny!" (humor)

    10/05/2015 10:05:55 AM PDT · by Leaning Right · 14 replies
    Youtube ^ | Sept. 10, 2015 | Toao
    Lenny is not a real person. He's an autopilot computer program. Lenny is designed to give scam telemarketers vague - but plausible - responses to their questions.
  • Today's Toons 10/5/15

    10/05/2015 1:19:18 AM PDT · by pookie18 · 13 replies
    The Briefing Room ^ | 10/5/15 | pookie18
    Click on link.
  • Nihilistic Password Security Questions

    10/03/2015 2:18:30 PM PDT · by sparklite2 · 21 replies
    Timothy McSweeney ^ | 10/3/2015 | SOHEIL REZAYAZDI
    What is the name of your least favorite child? In what year did you abandon your dreams? What is the maiden name of your father’s mistress? At what age did your childhood pet run away? What was the name of your favorite unpaid internship? In what city did you first experience ennui? What is your ex-wife’s newest last name? What sports team do you fetishize to avoid meaningful discussion with others? What is the name of your favorite canceled TV show? What was the middle name of your first rebound? On what street did you lose your childlike sense of...
  • Mold whine: Soylent superfood shipments stopped by spore scare (Liquid goop cleanup in Aisle 3)

    10/02/2015 10:24:24 PM PDT · by dayglored · 12 replies
    The Register ^ | Oct 3, 2015 | Iain Thomson
    Soylent, which produces liquid food for techies who hate chewing, has stopped shipping its gloop after some of it was contaminated with mold. The firm started flogging version 2.0 of its formula in August, and has produced 400,000 bottles of the strange substance. It has since learned that 11 of the bottles had mold inside or on the outside by the time they reached customers. That's a tiny proportion, however on Friday the biz confirmed it's halting operations. "During our record review process we did discover that the conveyor guardrail settings were not optimized, causing some bottles to move erratically...
  • Up close and personal with a HUGE brown bear under a guys back deck!

    10/02/2015 8:59:17 PM PDT · by beaversmom · 45 replies
    You Tube ^ | September 21, 2015 | Deep Bush Survival
    Published on 21 Sep 2015 A guys gets up close and personal with a HUGE brown bear under his buddys back deck. Kudos to him for handling the situation without having to put the bear down!
  • vanity - the real story behind water on Mars

    10/02/2015 10:56:37 AM PDT · by InvisibleChurch · 1 replies
  • Humans In Harnesses Are The Hot Accessory

    10/02/2015 9:02:46 AM PDT · by rfreedom4u · 21 replies
    Yahoo Style ^ | October 1, 2015 | Sarah Cristobal
    Rick Owens seems to enjoy turning the fashion world on its well-coiffed head. In the past, the designer has enlisted muscular step dancers to stomp down the runway and featured penises (they peeked out from tunics) as the must have accessory for his fall/ winter 2014 mens collection. His latest runway spectacle was called “Cyclops,” but instead of one-eyed creatures clomping down the runway, he sent models out with what can only be classified as human backpacks. While a trio of gospel singers sang about “Protecting land and how it’s ours to preserve,” models appeared with local gymnasts strapped to...
  • Russian Air Force destroys ISIS command center, training camp

    10/02/2015 6:04:03 AM PDT · by logi_cal869 · 54 replies
    RT ^ | 10/02/2015 | RT
    On Thursday, Russian warplanes stationed in Syria attacked a terrorist training camp and a command center, taking it out with a precision strike launched form an altitude of over 5,000 meters, the Russian Defense Ministry reported. Trends Russian anti-terror op in Syria READ MORE: RT EXCLUSIVE: First look at Russian airbase in Latakia, centerpiece of anti-ISIS operations (VIDEO) The airstrike was one of a dozen conducted by Russia in Syria on Thursday during 18 sorties, Lieutenant General Igor Konashenkov, the ministry spokesman, told journalists. Advanced Sukhoi Su-25 and Su-34s were used for strikes. “The targeting systems of those planes allows...

    10/02/2015 5:55:20 AM PDT · by Lucky9teen · 45 replies
    ************What a last name...************Mars: I’m wet.Earth: I’m coming over.************ ************House Speaker John Boehner announced that he is resigning from Congress. When he heard Congress lost Boehner, John McCain said, “Oh I got a little blue pill for that.” “No, BOEHNER. We lost House Speaker Boehner!" It's pronounced Bay-ner. ~ Fallon************************After their meeting got off to a tense start, Obama and Putin wound up talking for 90 minutes, and Putin described the talks as "surprisingly open." Putin said it was the most productive conversation he'd ever had with someone who wasn't tied to a chair. ~ Fallon************************"On Friday, despite our...
  • Today's Toons 10/2/15

    10/02/2015 1:16:56 AM PDT · by pookie18 · 15 replies
    The Briefing Room ^ | 10/2/15 | pookie18
    Click on link.
  • The College Football Czar: Week 5

    10/01/2015 7:03:15 PM PDT · by Daniel Clark · 19 replies
    The Shinbone: The Frontier of the Free Press ^ | October 1, 2015 | Daniel Clark
    The College Football Czar: Week 5 Week four in review: The College Football Czar had another bad week, although the week the replay officials had around the country was far worse. A completely unjustifiable reversal on a fumble call to decide the Thursday night Memphis-Cincinnati game set the tone for a long Saturday of blown calls on replay. The Czar accepts the fact that instant replay reviews are here to stay, but he’ll thank announcers to stop justifying the practice with the asinine assertion that “the important thing is to get the call right in the end.” Those teams that...
  • Ohhh, I can see Putin's shoeprint on Obama's ass from my house!

    10/01/2015 10:18:25 AM PDT · by Cats Pajamas · 18 replies
  • When things don't go to plan lol

    10/01/2015 8:22:48 AM PDT · by Cats Pajamas · 6 replies
    Youtube ^ | Sept 26
    Red light! Oh NO! It didn't record!
  • Today's Toons 10/1/15

    10/01/2015 1:32:19 AM PDT · by pookie18 · 17 replies
    The Right Reasons ^ | 10/1/15 | pookie18
    Click on link.
  • Close Call: The Secret Service Just Caught Him Trying To Pull His Own Head Off?

    10/01/2015 12:43:02 AM PDT · by wannabegeek · 18 replies ^ | September 15, 2015 |
     Looks like we narrowly avoided tragedy this morning. According to a White House press release, the Secret Service just discovered President Barack Obama trying to pull his own head off, but they managed to stop him before he succeeded. Wow. This could have been really bad.According to the White House, several Secret Service agents walked into the Lincoln Bedroom at approximately 6:45 a.m. and discovered President Obama standing alone in the middle of the room with his hands wrapped around his head and trying with considerable effort to remove it from his body.The agents who witnessed the scene said that...
  • Black Bear Gnaws on Delta 15s Seakayak in Berg Bay, Alaska

    09/30/2015 11:43:21 PM PDT · by 21twelve · 35 replies
    Youtube ^ | Sept. 29, 2015 | Mary Maley
    During a solo kayak trip, intended to go from from Ketchikan, Alaska to Petersburg, Alask, a bear attacked my kayak. This incident occurred outside of a US Forest Service cabin in Berg Bay, Wrangell District, Alaska.
  • Amy's Place ... Poetry and Potpourri ... October, November and December, 2015

    09/30/2015 8:40:33 PM PDT · by JustAmy · 168 replies
    October 1, 2015 | JustAmy; Meg33, The Mayor; Trisham; St.Louie1, Friends, MamaBear
    Welcome To.... 'Amy's Place' welcomes all poets and those who enjoy poetry.'Amy's Place' is more than just about poetry.Come in, relax, and share with fellow FReepersyour thoughts about any of the things on the *Menu*. Enjoy! :) Never Forget! Bad Penny Amy's personal guardian ~ the ever charming, lovable, huggable, LouieWolf Many thanks for stopping by. : )
  • Poor Mitch McConnell.

    09/30/2015 4:35:44 AM PDT · by Lazamataz · 47 replies
    Original Material | 9/30/2015 | By Laz A. Mataz
  • NFL Week 4 Live Thread

    09/30/2015 4:14:42 AM PDT · by Bender2 · 107 replies
    ESPN ^ | ESPN
    WEEK 4 Oct. 1 Baltimore Ravens at Pittsburgh Steelers 8:25 Oct. 4 New York Jets at Miami Dolphins (London) 9:30 AM Houston Texans at Atlanta Falcons 1 New York Giants at Buffalo Bills 1 Oakland Raiders at Chicago Bears 1 Kansas City Chiefs at Cincinnati Bengals 1 Jacksonville Jaguars at Indianapolis Colts 1 Carolina Panthers at Tampa Bay Buccaneers 1 Philadelphia Eagles at Washington Redskins 1 Cleveland Browns at San Diego Chargers 4:05 St. Louis Rams at Arizona Cardinals 4:25 Minnesota Vikings at Denver Broncos 4:25 Green Bay Packers at San Francisco 49ers 4:25 Dallas Cowboys at New Orleans Saints...
  • Today's Toons 9/30/15

    09/30/2015 3:56:49 AM PDT · by pookie18 · 10 replies
    The Right Reasons ^ | 9/30/15 | pookie18
    Click on link.
  • Is It Better to Adopt a Rubio Staffer, a Kitten, or a Water Buffalo?

    09/30/2015 3:02:04 AM PDT · by Slings and Arrows · 49 replies
    New York Magazine ^ | September 29, 2015 | Ben Ellman
    Republican presidential candidate Marco Rubio recently added “Adopt a Staffer for the Day” as an option in the campaign store. It costs you $250, and in return you'll be mentioned on Twitter and get an update from the impoverished Young Republican taker — who'd better be cute! (No, this is not welfare, since they have to work!) How does it compare to other selfless adoptions you might try out?-snip-You can adopt a kitten from the ASPCA for about half the price of a Rubio staffer.Apparently you can adopt an entire herd of manatees, Florida’s most famous aquatic residents, for the...
  • WATERPROOF iPhone 6Ss? Old news. Check out the OTHER 7 SECRET FEATURES

    09/29/2015 8:41:21 PM PDT · by Swordmaker · 7 replies
    The Register ^ | 29 Sep 2015 at 15:10 | By Lewis Page
    In other news - HATS are secretly BOWLS An iPhone user after having demonstrated the handset's secret lighter function We here at the Reg, as all our readers know, subscribe completely to the idea that people need a continual stream of iPhone related news-style content. We were especially impressed by the idea that the new iPhone 6S and 6S Plus might be "secretly waterproof". Some curmudgeons might suggest that this is merely a standard feature found on all phones which are not sold as being waterproof: that is, some waterproofing is done in order to reduce the rate at which...
  • Has the EPA Lost their ever loving mind? ~ Vanity

    The EPA Twittered this: "Think sunny days are good for plants? Not always. Sunlight causes #ozone to form, which harms foliage, weakens trees: …" Their link is broken because I think they embarassed themselves.

    09/29/2015 8:12:12 PM PDT · by Swordmaker · 66 replies
    Atlas Obscura ^ | 25 SEP 2015 | BY SARAH LASKOW
    The Broadway Apple Store (Photo: Matt Buchanan/Flickr)In more ancient times, when communal experiences were mediated by religion, crowds used to gather outside temples on feast days. In Biblical times, for instance, on pilgrimage holidays like Passover, Jewish people were supposed to travel to Jerusalem, to be present at the Holy Temple, where the High Priest would make a sacrifice to God.Nowadays, we have Apple Release Day—the Feast of St. Jobs—when faithful customers gather outside Apple stores and await the renewal of a next generation iPhone.But is the Apple store really like a sacred space? To find out, Atlas Obscura brought...
  • Arsonist Night Deposit Backfires

    09/29/2015 4:24:40 PM PDT · by BBell · 8 replies
    Colorado Springs, CO - Colorado Springs Police are looking for the man in this video. He's accused of trying to light a jar of gasoline and put it through a Wells Fargo overnight drop box. Based on the surveillance video, police believe the suspect may have been burned during the arson attempt. They are hoping for help in identifying the burnt moron. If you have any information that can help, call CSPD at 444-7000.
  • His Legs Don’t Reach The Floor! Yet This Little Genius Gets Down? Must See!

    09/29/2015 3:44:09 PM PDT · by BlackFemaleArmyCaptain · 14 replies
    faith reel ^ | 9/28/2015 | Tabitha Khaye
    When this toddler wakes up, and wants out of bed, he realizes it’s a long fall for his little legs. So he does the last thing some of us expected, I found it interesting how he knows one pillow won’t do, or even two, but three are needed for that safe jump. The way he throws his soother before he makes his jump, proves he really knows what he is doing. This is one smart little escape artist!
  • Carl's Jr's racy new TexMex burger commercial featuring scantily-clad women playing volleyball...

    09/29/2015 1:35:28 PM PDT · by petercooper · 76 replies
    The Daily Mail ^ | 09-29-2015 | Daily Mail
    Full title: Carl's Jr's racy new TexMex burger commercial featuring scantily-clad women playing volleyball over a border wall reflects 'what's going on with immigration', says one of its models New ad involves two sets of models representing Texas and Mexico The women are playing to determine whether the burger is 'Tex' or 'Mex' Kara Del Toro, who is in 'Team Mex', says the commercial is a 'bold move' She claims it is 'playing' on the immigration debate dominating the 2016 presidential race The American team are all blondes while the Mexican team are brunettes but Del Toro insists the commercial...
  • The Martian

    09/29/2015 1:07:58 PM PDT · by Textide · 84 replies
    self | 09/29/2015 | Textide
    FReepers, I can't recommend this one enough. This book is phenomenal. Here's an effort at a short summary: In the near future, an astronaut is presumed dead and left behind on Mars during a dust storm. Turns out he pulled through and has to figure out how to survive. NASA has several missions planned over the coming years so he meticulously plans and executes his survival with the hopes that the future missions take place. What struck me was that he didn't feel sorry for himself. He conducted himself as a man and even had contempt for fate. He wasn't...