Humor (General/Chat)
-
-
There has been a steep rise in the number of citizens of the US seeking asylum in Ireland. Fifty-one people from the US applied for international protection in the first half of this year, more than in 2023 and 2024 combined. New figures from the Department of Justice show that 104 American citizens have looked for asylum in Ireland since the beginning of 2022. […] Immigration sources said that any individual seeking international protection from the United States was likely to face an uphill battle. “The number of claims from the US is small in terms of the volume of...
-
https://babylonbee.com/news/pregnant-celebrity-mom-delighted-to-announce-unborn-baby-is-transBEVERLY HILLS, CA — At a lavish gender reveal party attended by Hollywood elite, a popular young celebrity announced that her unborn baby is trans. "After three abortions, I am finally having a trans baby," the celebrity said. "It kicks a lot, which proves that the gender assigned by its genes is wrong. I'm having a little trans-boy!" "Which is great timing. They're so in right now," she added. According to a report in Variety, the party was attended by notable celebrities Annette Bening, Robert De Niro, Jamie Lee Curtis, and other celebrities with trans children. Speculation that the close-knit...
-
https://babylonbee.com/news/hunter-biden-tells-dad-he-going-to-need-a-new-boat REHOBOTH BEACH, DE — Hunter Biden informed his father today that, due to an unexpected malfunction, he is going to be needing a new boat. His prior boat apparently caught fire and exploded while going on a little outing through the southern Caribbean. "The old boat, uh, died," explained Hunter to his father. "It's the darndest thing, you know? Just humming along in the Caribbean, on a dolphin tour, when... boom! It just blew up out of nowhere. So, yeah, I'm going to be needing a new boat pretty quick, before the drugs wear o -- I mean, before...
-
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a statement from the Oval Office, President Trump stubbornly refused to admit that he died this past weekend. Journalists pressed the President as to why he would not simply admit that he is dead, but to no avail. "You are obviously dead, Mr. President. Why will you not level with the American people?" asked Kaitlin Collins of CBS News. "Excuse me, but can a ghost shoot three under par on the back nine like I did on Saturday? No way, not any ghosts that I know," responded President Trump. "They can't even hold a club...
-
Speculation has been swirling about President Donald Trump's health, with some people even spreading wild rumors that he died over the weekend. What's the real story? The Babylon Bee has come up with the following list of undeniable signs that Trump's health is going downhill: Trump has been occasionally posting in lowercase on social media, and his posts have been more coherent: This is not normal. He is sometimes seen sitting down: A sure sign of failing health. Obviously weak. He only managed to eat eight Big Macs today: It's like he's slowly fading away. The man's frickin' 80...
-
WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Trump laid rumors of health decline to rest yesterday by inviting doubting Democrats to come forward and touch the hole in his ear. According to eyewitnesses, Trump miraculously appeared in the House Chambers and called for the unbelieving Democrats to step forward and put their fingers to his ear. "Look, you can put your whole finger through it," Trump explained patiently to dozens of doubting Democrats. "Why do you hang back? Why did you doubt my health? Come forward and feel my ear — it's got a really beautiful lobe, just a fantastic lobe, even...
-
'I think it's becoming very, very common,' Amy Bach, Executive Director at consumer advocacy group United Policyholders, told the outlet. 'People are getting dropped on basis of, "We see mold on your roof," or "We see damaged roof tiles," or "There's trees touching your house," risk factors that insurance companies are increasingly on the lookout for.' Schueler found company to remove the branches in time, and so was able to keep her coverage. 'It ended up costing $1,200. I had no choice,' she told CBS. Her policy was renewed for another year, but having her home monitored without her being...
-
-
fool's Ball, Week One Your home for all things Fool's Ball! In Memoriam Danny Lee (BENDER2)
-
https://babylonbee.com/news/english-bobbies-race-past-5-stabbings-to-tackle-offensive-social-media-poster LONDON — In a courageous display of British defense of law and order, English bobbies were seen racing past five stabbings to tackle an offensive social media poster. Eyewitnesses report that a crack team of constabulary laddies dexterously avoided five illegal migrants who were engaged in bloody mass stabbing episodes as the British officers rushed to take down a man about to share an offensive meme on X. "Oi mate! Gor, that's a racist meme you got there, innit?" one of the constables was heard to say, sidestepping a Muslim stabber and tackling the dangerous social media poster. "Now...
-
A groundbreaking study reveals that human activities have pushed Earth's biosphere to a critical tipping point, threatening the planet's ability to sustain life and prompting urgent calls for immediate global action. The integrity of Earth’s biosphere is under unprecedented threat, according to a recent study that sheds light on the planet’s declining ability to maintain ecological balance. Conducted by the Potsdam Institute for Climate Impact Research (PIK) and BOKU University in Vienna, the research highlights critical challenges facing the plant kingdom’s capacity to regulate essential ecosystem functions. The study, published in the journal One Earth, examines the energy flows derived...
-
-
Graham Greene as Edgar Montrose references Dances With Wolves on the season 5 episode of the Red Green Show: Men's Night On the Mountain.
-
Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent said the Trump administration may declare a national housing emergency this fall as the White House looks to highlight key issues for midterm campaign voters.“We’re trying to figure out what we can do, and we don’t want to step into the business of states, counties, and municipal governments,” Bessent told the Washington Examiner. “We may declare a national housing emergency in the fall.”Bessent said housing affordability would be a critical leg of Republicans’ 2026 midterm election platform. Bessent declined to list any specific actions the president may take, but he suggested that administration officials are directly...
-
GAZA — Following news that the diminutive eco-geopolitical activist was once again planning to set sail to arrive in support of the Palestinian cause, Hamas terrorists released an official statement distancing themselves from Greta Thunberg. Apparently not wanting the negativity that would come with any association with Thunberg, the infamous terrorist organization sought to clarify that they had absolutely nothing to do with her and that any connection was entirely manufactured on Thunberg's part. "Please do not lump us in with her," said Hamas spokesterrorist Abu Muhammad Akhtar. "We're completely fine with being viewed by everyone around the world as...
-
BREAKING - A rattled Rosie O’Donnell has just released an apology video to MAGA for her earlier video in which she blamed the Minnesota Catholic school tragedy on MAGA, falsely claiming the suspect was a White supremacist MAGA voter.
-
The annual clock of the seasons – winter, spring, summer, autumn – is often taken as a given. But our new study in Nature, using a new approach for observing seasonal growth cycles from satellites, shows that this notion is far too simple. We present an unprecedented and intimate portrait of the seasonal cycles of Earth's land-based ecosystems. This reveals "hotspots" of seasonal asynchrony around the world – regions where the timing of seasonal cycles can be out of sync between nearby locations. .....
-
DALLAS, TX — The Dallas Cowboys organization has officially moved to invoke the 25th amendment in order to remove owner Jerry Jones from power. Sources within the organization felt that the body of evidence showing Jones to be mentally incapacitated had reached undeniable levels. "It's about time," said long-suffering Cowboys fan Harold Martindale. "We loved Jerry, but the man is clearly no longer capable of coherent thought. As he has proven in so, so many ways, he is no longer capable of serving as the owner of the Dallas Cowboys. This is precisely why the 25th amendment exists in this...
-
|
|
|