Take a dog. Any dog will do, they’re all worthless.
Weigh the dog.
Find a cinder block or chunk of cement that weighs more than the dog.
There are other methods, but, this is the best.
Stand the dog over the aforementioned chunk of whatever weighs more than it.
Use duct tape and wrap it continuously under the chunk of matter and over the back of the dog.
Use the entire roll if necessary.
Also, save a little of the duct tape and adhere the dog’s mouth shut so that it can’t chew itself out of the death trap.
Once you have finished these fun activities, find a pool of water.
If you haven’t measured the height of the dog first, just find a pool that has a least three feet of water, most dogs don’t stand over three feet tall.
Next...drop the dog in the water and enjoy the show.
Michael will tell you that it’s more entertaining than a guy’s night out at a comedy club.
Cry me a river. What childish maudlin fascination with the killing of an animal. I don’t like what he did, I don’t dwell on it to an inordinate degree. Animals are not people. Millions of animals are killed every single day, and all you maudlin uber dog lovers dismiss all that as “different”. Hunters, farmers, etc. Millions.
But oh my God, he killed dogs what kind of evil depraved person could do that? Maybe Farmer John? Oh, but Farmer John EATS them. Well, that’s better.