On the other hand, I know three women who were the oldest child, or one of the older children, in large (10+ children) families who have elected not to have children. They're well-adjusted individuals, generally, and two are deeply religious. The problem is that they spent their childhoods raising their younger siblings. Instead of looking forward to the joy of motherhood, they feel as if they've experienced some of it, and that they missed part of childhood.
I understand the concept of chores. I understand the concept of helping your parent with your younger siblings. In the case of the Duggars (and I'll admit that it's one of my daughters, and not me, who watches the show), I sometimes feel as if parenthood is a multi-level marketing plan. Children of a certain age have designated 'buddies' who are older children, who are responsible for them, and those older children have designated 'buddies', who are still older children, who are responsible for them.
While this has the possibility of teaching strong sibling love . . . it means that some child-parent connection is missing.
If my sibling buddy is responsible for helping me dress, as a toddler, where's that magic 'getting dressed' time with mommy or daddy? Love multiplies. One-on-one attention doesn't. Even if you designate a period each day to have one-on-one time with a child . . . it's not the same. At some point, you're being raised in a group home. A group home with values and a lot of love. But a group home. And your guidance is coming from other children, not your parents.
I welcome comments from others that may help me see things differently.
I am worried about Mrs. Duggar's health after her last pregnancy, but I support their right to have a twentieth child.
Excellent post.
I know the oldest son has married and started his own family, but I suspect some of the daughters will ultimately decide not to follow their mother’s lead. I’m sure they love their younger siblings, but the endless housework, baby-minding, and lack of privacy has to get old after a while. I wouldn’t blame them if they just want a more active social life, some stylish clothes, a cute hairstyle, and a bit of time for themselves.
The Duggar family appears to be doing very well, but their lifestyle isn’t for everyone.