Say the president did call you. Instead of sounding like grandpa after beans, you could say something like: "Thank you for your call, Mr. President. I would like for you to know that I think your mother inter-racially fornicated and got punished with you. Your father left bastards all over the world, and I appreciate his international efforts, except for you. You, Mr. President, are a total waste of protoplasm. My sole exception for abortion is you."
And then you could go on to get ugly.
/johnny