Been there, been the victim as a child. And the worst part of it was, like most children who are victims, they blame themselves for what happened, carry the guilt of the situation, and reverse their reward/punishment system as they feel they need to be punished to remove the guilt.
Every day I work with this and show how the emotional subconscious punishes through immune system suppression later in life.
It sounds as though you don’t understand that forgiveness is to set yourself free, not to remove the perpetrator from the consequences of their actions.
You may resign yourself to being a doormat but the rest of us prefer to be in control of our lives, have and set standards, and not simply play the role of victim.
Anger is a natural emotion and suppressing it is not healthy. Fear is a natural survival instinct and can be fatal when ignored. Hatred is also normal and allows us to not like things that cause us harm.
Being a pansy only makes things worse and invites even more aggression by others.
The homosexual agenda is intending to destroy all things not faggoty. I won’t “love” that in any way, shape, or form for any reason.