Cripple, you can grow bananas indoors! Your post made me look, and there’s a company that actually sells indoor banana trees for $10. You can get two for $22 or so after shipping and handling! I’m glad you said that, because I’m going to try it. I have family in CR that had a banana tree in the back yard. Zero maintainence, but then again, that is a tropical country!
I’ve read that you can grow figs in southern Michigan but it sounds like way more work than its worth.
Apparently you have to bury the whole tree during the winter.