Posted on 01/28/2012 1:22:15 PM PST by smokingfrog
Absolutely-—loving adoptive parents are such a Blessing for any child, but it should be both a mother and father.
God’s design is always the best, but when nature deprives kids of this essential aspect for emotional health-—adoption is the next best thing. Lots of time adoptive parents are more attentive and loving than biological ones because they jump hurdles to get their kids.
And—I will say—that unloving biological parents are the most destructive to children.
I've read some really dumb stuff on FR but your statement takes the cake. Why in the hell do you think that a man needs wife and children to "anchor him to reality and life"? Plenty of men have lived meaningful lives without such attachments. My Uncle Charles was one of them. You would have to look far and wide to find a finer person.
I don't even know why I bothered with you, though. You're beyond redemption if that's the extent of your "insights."
Rocco was obviously ‘grandfathered in’ when the building rules changed. I can appreciate the neighbors not wanting a pit bull in their building. I wouldn’t be real happy riding the elevator with just Mr. Santino, a frisky Rocco, and me for 40 or more stories. Or imagine a young mother with her baby in a stroller.
I would venture a guess that the condo owners in that building pay a higher monthly condo fee than most Americans pay for their mortgages in a quarter. They do deserve to have a feeling of unthreatened security, peace and quiet, in their homes.
Threads like this bring out the most loathsome of individuals. Those that feel so superior and know what should have been, those that have no heart or soul and mock those that do, those that should just keep their damned mouths shut, and tough guy bs that makes me want to reach through the internet and slap the crap out of them.
God rest this poor man’s soul. Suicide is the last desperate act of someone who can’t find his way. To the morally superior crowd; if God has so little love that He won’t understand a suicide’s plight then he is not the God I believe Him to be.
“Psychic murder,” one writer I recently read said, “is worse than physical murder.”
This was a psychic murder by this man’s fellow human beings.
I posted the following at 71 but it is worth repeating for those who do God’s work on earth:
Absolutely-—loving adoptive parents are such a Blessing for any child, but it should be both a mother and father.
God’s design is always the best, but when nature deprives kids of this essential aspect for emotional health-—adoption is the next best thing. Lots of time adoptive parents are more attentive and loving than biological ones because they jump hurdles to get their kids.
And—I will say—that unloving biological parents are the most destructive to children.
I’m always amazed at how people who claim to be conservatives are ignorant about the importance of marriage and family to civil society.
Do I think some individuals can live singly as productive and successful members of society? Yes, but they are few and they are outliers, not the norm.
Marriage and family is superior and beneficial, both for most individuals and society.
This guy didn’t kill himself because the dog was all he had, he killed himself because his life was so void and empty that the dog was all he had.
Suicide over a dog is a symptom of a dysfunctional person in an even more dysfunctional society.
Some pets grab your heart and you have no choice. In this case he had a broken heart and didn’t see he had a reason for living. It’s sad.
I speak from experience. I would have endangered my own life had my yorkie been in danger. After 18 yrs of heaven set love that kept me going because I had to care for him, he finally died on my birthday while I was away for the day. He is still with me and on my mantel in an urn. And I do know what I’m talking about.
There you go, making assumptions. I never denied that marriage and children (why do people say "family" when they really mean children?) is important to a civil society. I simply was pointing out that it's not for everyone and that many--if not most--people function beautifully without either one. Uncle Charles did and I would emphatically say that he was not unique; I've known many bachelors who were doing just fine, thank you.
What really irks me about you is that you presume to know what this poor man was feeling. I don't know and neither do you, Mac. I would be somewhat sure that it had nothing to do with marriage and children, even though you would like to insert this because it fits your personal template about how people should behave.
And here's a news flash for you: to many people out there due to very varying circumstances, their pets are all they have, and I would bet that others have killed themselves following the death of a beloved pet.
RIP.
because everyone is different
Suicide is more common among single people than married people. That well researched fact belies your belief that “many-if not most—people function beautifully without either one”. If those many were functioning beautifully, they wouldn’t be killing themselves at higher rates.
Some people have very strong attachments to their pets. I think it’s because they are meant for each other, predestined. It is a true blessing to have that connection.
Mr Santino’s situation was hopeless.
Consider:
He owns a condo which allowed dogs in the past, now doesn’t.
He puts Rocco to sleep. Goes to his empty home knowing that he cannot have another dog there.
It would take many months to find an apartment which he won’t be able to afford because he’s down on his luck job wise.
It would be near impossible to sell his condo quickly in today’s economy.
Meanwhile he would have to stay in his condo with reminders everywhere of Rocco. Expecting Rocco to wag his tail while his meal is prepared then being reminded why the dog is absent. I don’t know if Mr Santino would have been able to emotionally adopt another dog. He needed one NOW.
To those who put Mr Santino down, or said that he was gay, shame on you. Had you read the article, you would have known that he called an ex girl friend. Have you considered that maybe he was heart broken by her and Rocco entered his life soon after? Rocco saved him.
Maybe you’d prefer that he take drugs or alcohol to mask his depression. Silly man chose to share his love with a pound dog.
As to Rocco barking a lot. Has anyone considered that the neighbors might have been harassing the dog? It’s quite easy to taunt a dog behind a closed door.
How would the neighbors know if Mr Santino was away 9 hrs a day? How???? Did they watch him constantly? Did they take turns?
If you’ve never been stalked by neighbors, or had board meetings about you,you wouldn’t understand what this young man was going through. Believe me,it can drive one insane. A dog would be your best friend. Without that friend, you’re lost.
Well, if we want to sling arrows, it’s the married men who beat the hell out of their wives and horribly abuse their children. I would think that the single man committing suicide is superior to this type of behavior.
In any event, I did state that the bachelors that I have known were functionally beautifully, not the universe. For what it’s worth, none has committed suicide.
Speaking of suicide, one has to acknowledge that sometimes life treats one so bad that it is the logical step to take.
Anyway, I don’t think that we would agree that the sun rises in the east and sets in the west. We’re polar opposites in our view of society.
So long.
many people feel we adoptive parents are not REAL PARENTS...
well folks we are for REAL...
our adopted son will soon turn 40!! he has been a gift that just keeps on giving and giving..we have been so loving Blessed.
No, it is NOT married men who beat their wives and/or children.
It’s shack up boyfriends that beat women and children (to whom they are generally unrelated).
Stop repeating feminista bs.
Your problem is generalizing from personal experience and not recognizing that those bachelors are exceptional rather than the norm.
You couldn’t have said it better.
Although I never adopted any kids-—I had my hands full with five—I have relatives who are wonderful people who were adopted by my mother’s family.
Parents-—real or adoptive—who love their children create wonderful loving people. Children learn by what is modeled and learn how to treat other people by how they were treated—especially in early childhood—the formative years. They are crucial for long term healthy relationships.
We owe all adoptive parents our deepest and sincerest THANK YOU because you saved the lives of some precious children so they could flourish and have a chance in this hostile world.
Loved children never grow up to beat up and hurt other people. Only abused children do that. Early childhood is crucial in creating a mentally healthy adult. “Secure attachment” children (non-abused) have been studied and they become secure happy mature adults who are capable of forming long term healthy attachments.
Any trauma which happens in childhood-—sexual abuse, deaths of parents-—traumas to children will become emotionally fragile and incapable of functioning in healthy ways. They are more prone to addictions. Having unloving, mean parents will produce unloving mean people.
Read Dalrymple—the psychiatrist in England’s prisons. The destruction of the natural family has destroyed the protection of children. Unwed mothers children are almost universally abused and many times it is both physically and emotionally. Boyfriends are the chief abusers of children and women. Married men-—no—and if they do abuse—it is because the woman chose him because he is just like her father or the man in her mother’s life. All abusers were abused children....guaranteed. Dysfunctional parents produce dysfunctional children.
we shared adoption with our son from day #1 (he was 7 weeks old) recently he shared a story with us, of his one boss becoming a grandmother to an adopted child...he told her “I offer you warm congratulations from one adoptee to another” then she asked him how old he was and when he was informed, he answered FOB..she was lost...he said....FRESH OUT the BASKET and life has been great..
he is well educated, holds a very good job plus has his own freelance business..damn we are proud of him..
oh he was three years old and I discovered my self pregnant!! a beautiful daughter born to us on our 14th anniversary...yep...life has been good.
thanks for the chat...nite
carole
haircutter
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