My wife told me to go to the doctors and get some
of those pills that help get an erection.
You should have seen her face when I came back
and tossed her some diet pills!
I’m still looking for a place to live.
_____
Four old timers were playing their weekly game of golf,
One remarked how nice it would be to wake up on Christmas morning, roll out of bed and without an argument go directly to the golf course, meet his buddies and play a round.
His buddies all chimed in and said, “Let’s do it ! We’ll make it a priority; figure out a way and meet here early, Christmas morning.”
Months later, that special morning arrives, and there they are on the golf course. The first guy says, “Boy this game cost me a fortune!
I bought my wife a diamond ring that she can’t take her eyes off it.”
The second guy says, “I spent a ton too. My wife is at home
planning the cruise I gave her. She was up to her eyeballs in brochures.”
The third guy says “Well my wife is at home admiring her new car, reading the manual.”
They all turned to the last guy in the group who is staring at them like they have lost their minds.
“I can’t believe you all went to such expense for this golf game.
I slapped my wife on the butt and said, ‘Well babe, Merry Christmas! It’s a great morning - intercourse or golfcourse’
She said,”Don’t forget your sweater.”