Skip to comments.After IVF we became pregnant with triplets, but my wife wanted two of the babies aborted
Posted on 03/14/2012 9:30:42 AM PDT by Morgana
March 14, 2012 (AmericanThinker.com) - My soul carries a new scar. The pain is fresh and keen, and I know that while time might see the pain fade, I will never fully recover from what Ive seen, and done. For I have failed, intentionally and knowingly, in the first duty of a parent: protecting the lives of two of my children.
My wife and I wanted children; alas, we needed IVF treatment to realize this dream. Several cycles and multiple embryo implantations later, we welcomed our blessing from G-d, who is the light of our lives.
Recently, we tried for another.
It never rains, but it pours, said the fertility doctorof the three embryos that were implanted, all three took. We were faced with the news of triplets. I was shocked, knowing the burden that would entail, but since G-d gave us three, I was prepared to do whatever I needed to do to help, manage, and provide.
My wife? Something snapped. She insisted that we do a selective reduction from three to one, or else she would have a full abortion. She was adamant. She would not carry three. She would not carry two.
I was presented with a Coventry-esque decision: save one, or save none. I chose the former, though I tried on several occasions to convince her to at least keep twins. I failed.
We were told, point-blank, by the doctor who would do the procedure that they would inject potassium chloride into the placenta to stop the hearts. We were told, point-blank, that it was painless. Even then, I knew I was being lied to, but given the choice presented, I agreed anyway. My mantra became Save one, or save none.
Before the procedure, my wifes eyes teared up; she asked the doctor over and over if they would feel pain, and was assured they would not. I asked again if my wife was sure about this because once done, it could not be undone. She said she was sure, but her tears and her looking away from the screen, deliberately, and her wanting me to not look either, told me the truth: she knew as well that this was wrong. I wanted to insist that she look, but I think that her mindalready fractured by the news of tripletswould have snapped permanently had she seen the images onscreen. And to save the one, and for the sake of the one we already had, I needed my wife sane.
My wife didnt look, but I had to. I had to know what would happen to my children. I had to know how they would die.
Each retreated, pushing away, as the needle entered the amniotic sac. They did not inject into the placenta, but directly into each childs torso. Each one crumpled as the needle pierced the body. I saw the heart stop in the first, and mine almost did, too. The others heart fought, but ten minutes later they looked again, and it too had ceased.
The doctors had the gall to call the potassium chloride, the chemical that stopped childrens hearts, medicine. I wanted to ask what they were trying curelife? But bitter words would not undo what had happened. I swallowed anything I might have said.
I know they felt pain. I know they felt panic. And I know this was murder. I take cold comfort in knowing that as far as we can tell, the survivor is still fine, and in knowing that this decision did not come from me; I would have taken the chance on triplets, even with all the work and effort it would have required. I pray that this one child will come to term, will be born into this world alive and healthy, and I know he or she will have all our love.
But that emotional scar will ache my whole life. I see my childs smile every night and anticipate a new one in some months but I think of the two smiles I will never see. Every day, returning from work, I hear Hi Daddy! and know there are two voices and two giggles that I will never hear. I play with and cuddle my child, looking forward to the same with the second but I know there are two sets of hands that will never touch mine, two sets of toes that will never be counted, two hugs that will forever be absent from my arms.
I pray to G-d every day to take those two innocents to Him, to welcome them, and I ask them every day for forgiveness. As I will every day for the rest of my life. I dont know what accommodation my wife will make mentally and spiritually. That is her business, and a burden her conscience must bear.
But let nobody fool you. It is not painless for the child, and anyone who says otherwise is a liar. Abortion is not an excision of a featureless bunch of cells; it is infanticide. We have revived the practice of child sacrifice to the new deities of casual sex and convenience. We rationalize the reality of murder by altering our perspective of the nascent life through euphemisms like fetus or descriptions of a clump of cells...just like the Nazis convinced themselves that the people screaming as they were shot or gassed were Untermenchen, subhuman, and therefore guiltlessly exterminated.
This is how every perpetrator of genocide has always rationalized his or her actions. By doing likewise, we condemn our own souls
I wept in joy, a few years ago, when I saw my first childs heartbeat on the screen. And I weep in agony now at the memory of two of my childrens heartbeats being stilled. Save one, or save none has been eclipsed by Out, out, damned spot! as I wonder how I can redeem myself.
If, by baring this scar for others to see, I can prevent an abortion, perhaps that will help to balance the scales for when I face G-ds justice and I finally meet those two childrenwho I hope will forgive me for my failure.
Hasn’t this been posted 5 or 6 times already?
That is so sad. What I don’t understand, if you only want one child, then only implant one. I know it’s expensive and implanting more than one increases at least one will take.
However, with ALL the information we have now, we ALL know countless times, one, or all will take.
If you are NOT willing to bring more than just one into the world, then you should ONLY implant one at a time.
If you can’t afford to do so, then perhaps you shouldn’t be doing it at all.
That is a disgusting story.
Not posted enough.
First time I have read it. Glad for the "repost".
Thank you Morgana. =)
Must be a horror to watch your children being murdered...
After the birth of your one child..... Divorce that bitch!
Find yourself a real woman who is human.
Never trust anything from an anonymous author. They usually make things up or embellish the little truth that’s in the story. This was written by someone with an agenda-—his feelings and morals don’t match his actions. He knows it’s murder, but goes along with it? Give me a break!
With selective abortion the thing they don’t stress much is the likelihood of the last child also being lost later on.You can’t force the cervix open and not expect it to always remain closed once the child gets heavier.
I’m not sure I care that it was posted 5 or 6 times. The f*cking hypocrisy that is woman.
“The world would be a better place with women in charge” - Steinam.
30 million dead and counting. The women’s movement makes Stalin look like an amateur.
I hate it when men say “we are pregnant”. It sounds so wimpy but then in this guy’s case wimp is the kindest word possible.
Amen!!!! And make sure you get custody of the children. You could use the murdering of her 2 unborn against her....which she could NOT bear to see....because she knew what she was doing wrong.
I did not see this one. However I have seen ones like this.
Women go in for IVF, get knocked up with a dozen or so then abort all but one of the babies.
Do you realize that as much as we demonized Octomom at least she carried all 8 to term and did risk her life to do so? Do I think she was just doing so to be greedy? Yes I do. Stupid and greedy. It could have killed her. Of the 12, yes 12 she had implanted 8 were born. She is lucky to be alive.
Now here comes a flood of these stories. Moms who can’t get knocked up. When they do kill off the other babies for only one? At least Octomom was not murderous.
my first time reading it. heart breaking story about a heartless wife.
I am sorry, but this is a truly pathetic post. These weak self centered people should not be having any children. G-d is the center of their lives but he cannot bring himself to even spell out His name? She will go crazy if she has three? So it is necessary to kill two. Sorry but most people are not this sick. This is a phony story, in my opinion.
The world would be a better place with women in charge - Steinam.
Oh now come on! I quite agree.
Jeane Kerpatrick was not so bad
but no we get women like Princess Nancy, Helen Thomas and Hilary Clinton.
Do you realize that Sandra Fluke is a young Hilary Clinton?
The left just really hates our kind of women.
She could not even stand to watch the murder of her own 2 babies.
She KNEW what she was doing was wrong...but did it anyway.
Shameless. The End Of Times will only get worse....Lord help us.
Could it be that God is at the center of his life but not hers?
As for the abortion he can’t physically stop her. The law is on her side after all she “has the right to choose” and if he tried legally to stop her, he would be views as “trying to control her body”. (Yes it has happened in past court cases) It may be his baby but it is in her body, so says the courts. The courts have ruled that he does not “own” her as her husband.
So yes all he can do is sit back and what her kill the other two. There is nothing legally he can do as long as Roe vs Wade is on the books.
I personally would like to know why this woman is that selfish. She could not have any before now she would have three? Sounds like a plan to me. However some are just ungrateful.
I also agree, despite my post.
Thatcher is my favorite, and ranks with Churchill in my opinion. Throughout history there have been great women leaders. My great, great aunt was Carrie A Nation.
There appears to be this sort of chilling ethical ceiling imposed on women in leadership roles in the last 20 years - unless you are willing to commit some sort of blood sacrifice of a child, you aren’t going anywhere but down.
When a man can get pregnant and give birth to a child, then and only then does he have the right to any part of the decision.
Until then, respect the womans decision and shut the F*ck up.
Always remember the woman is the one who will spend the next 18 years raising the child, the man maybe if he sticks around or if he doesn’t, he may actually pay his child support, however I wouldn’t recommend having 3 childern at once to find out.
***Never trust anything from an anonymous author.***
Good point. The article is extremely well written by someone with a very strong pro-life ethic and I agree with your observation that this is not his own experience. Perhaps it is based on a couple that he knows or had heard about. The story was so disturbing that he felt compelled to illustrate the cowardice & immorality from both the male and female perspectives.
Even if he is lying about being the ‘father’ his narrative is still powerful.
Jews and couple Christian denominations do not spell out God. You’re off base on that one.
The husband’s desire to please his wife has out weighed his desire to please God. A shame that the wife’s vanity and selfishness has so severly damaged this marriage. Gone is the hope, trust and respect. It is now replaced with pain, guilt and resentment. That is no foundation to build a family on.
That child is as much the man’s as it is the womans. And there are plenty of reported cases where it is the mother who skips out on the relationship so don’t paint with just one brush. Unfaithfullness to the family and one’s responsibilities runs through both sexes.
Abortion is all ways the intentional killing of a human being and is against God’s law and if we as a nation had any morals, it would be against our laws as well.
I could not keep reading. Oh my loving Gd, this is so atrocious.
My first amnio, the doc (in Europe) was another source of cruel. He poked The needle into my 3 mo along baby’s hand and crowed, “look how he pulls away!”. That was my first mama grizzly feeling in my life. I wanted to take. Him. Down.
Selective reduction is murder.
There are ways to do IVF correctly, where each embryo is cherished as potential life. Put back only the number of embryos you wish to carry. If your family is complete, donate your other embryos to another family. I’m living this and loving it.
Not spelling out His name is only for things that will be deleted or thrown away. It’s a sign of worship. If you were going to keep it forever as in a book of prayers, you can write it out.
Nederland is a good example of this.
This is why I am not a big fan of fertility drugs. It is trying to play God.
If a husband and wife are unable to conceive, there is likely a reason for it. We shouldn’t turn to weird science.
The way this is written, it sounds like this is a couple in their late 30’s or early 40’s who first focused on education and career building, and then decided to have themselves a designer-baby for their vanity or prestige.
Realizing that they are unable to conceive because they are past the ideal time, they turn to science and the fertility doctor. The result is triplets.
Wifey only wanted one child, so she will just simply discard the other two. We live in a selfish disposable society, where perpetual happiness is the goal, even at the expense of life.
Husband is the very definition of a sack-less pansy. No wonder he couldn’t get her pregnant.
Rather than telling the vile woman that he will not stay with her if she aborts two of his children, he goes along with it. Now we are supposed to feel bad for him.
Did I miss anything?
Fathers have a natural right to protect the lives of their pre-born baby daughters and sons. And fathers are not deserters by default, as you falsely claim.
I believe GOD knew what he was doing when he made this woman barren. He knew she didn’t have the heart of a mother. She was probably worried about the stretch marks she might endure if she carried more than one.
How her husband can ever forgive her for her decision is beyond me. How can you stay married to someone you don’t respect anymore?
Thank you, Jim. That post is repulsive.
>> shut the ...
Your brain! It’s severely underdeveloped!
You've got that right. I know a woman(went to school with her and her second husband)who not only ran off and left her child, she left him with his step-father, who adopted him and finished raising him. In fact she sold the custody rights to my friend(the step-father)for $10,000. My friend never told his son about that part. It was bad enough that she simply left him without even saying goodbye.
Many women are far worse than men, many aren't, but for ggwyo to say men have no say in the child's welfare, before or after they are born, is just BS.
This is the first time I’ve seen it. Why does it bother you?
I just get tired of stories being posted repeatedly. This is one of many. Why do you ask?
It's always good to see liberalism crushed, isn't it?
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A lot of FReepers stated they never saw it. Why don’t you simply ignore threads that don’t interest you? You sound like a Home Owners Association President.
A justified and good zot. The post was disgusting.... why is it that pro-abortion folks insist that a Father has no right in the say of his children (born or unborn?) He wouldn’t recommend three children? Uh.... they are called triplets. Many women naturally have two or three children. He sees it as “two too many” and I see it as “a triple blessing from God”.
A ZOT! already ?! I haven’t even had my coffee yet!
I guess he trolled over from DU. He can slime his way back... AFTER the viking kitties are done, of course! For what it is worth, we know a couple that were infertile. They were offered IVF but (at the time) knew they wouldn’t conceive (and already spent those tens of thousands) AND wouldn’t selectively kill (abort) any of their children if they did. So, rather than seeing this obstacle to parenthood as a slight... they saw another “door” from God open. They have a nine year old and five year old daughter (adopted from China). Wonderful, fantastic, loving parents that are raising two adored children. A win-win situation for all. Just my two cents.