A few jokes to cheer people up.
1 posted on
03/14/2012 10:06:41 AM PDT by
detective
To: detective
And who said the truth can’t be funny?
2 posted on
03/14/2012 10:09:00 AM PDT by
BornToBeAmerican
(Kindness will conquer evil)
To: detective
3 posted on
03/14/2012 10:11:06 AM PDT by
Made In The USA
(This post may be recorded for quality purposes.)
To: detective
Quiz.
You’re a photographer taking photos of the Mississippi River. From one direction you see the presidential yacht moving upstream. From the other direction you see an out of control barge which will surely run over Obama in his yacht. You have three minutes to notify authorities and save the president or set up the camera to take a Pulitzer award winning photograph.
Question:
What lens, f-stop and shutter speed will you use when taking the photo?
4 posted on
03/14/2012 10:18:15 AM PDT by
109ACS
(If this be Treason, then make the most of it. Patrick Henry, May 1765)
To: detective
Moochelle is walking down the street with a duck under her arm. A drunk staggers up and asks, “Where’d you get the pig.”
Moochelle says, “That’s not a pig . . . it’s a duck.”
The drunk says, “I was talking to the duck.”
5 posted on
03/14/2012 10:22:06 AM PDT by
laweeks
To: detective
You want a laugh? Picture this:
Nancy Pelosi and Barbara Boxer are stranded at sea in a two person life raft. They have a compass, 1 gallon of water, 1 protein bar, one teaspoon of sunscreen, 1 cell phone that will never get a signal and is almost dead anyway, 1 oar and 1 revolver with 1 bullet.
What would you pay to watch this debacle unfold?
Who rows? In what direction? Etc.
6 posted on
03/14/2012 10:28:50 AM PDT by
Tenacious 1
(With regards to the GOP: I am prodisestablishmentarianistic!)
To: detective
Harry Potter joke: Debbie Wasserman Schultz is so fat the Sorting Hat put her in the House of Pancakes.
7 posted on
03/14/2012 10:48:45 AM PDT by
goodwithagun
(My gun has killed fewer people than Ted Kennedy's car.)
To: detective
Thank you. The last one is the best.
8 posted on
03/14/2012 10:57:52 AM PDT by
Grampa3711
(Some people bring happiness whereever thet go; others, whenever.)
To: detective
A communist, an illegal alien, and a muslim walk into a bar and the bartender says ....
.
.
.
.
.
.
. wait for it ...
.
.
.
.
.
.
. "What can I get you, Mr. Obama?"
9 posted on
03/14/2012 11:03:39 AM PDT by
tx_eggman
(Liberalism is only possible in that moment when a man chooses Barabas over Christ.)
To: detective
A LionKing joke: Whats the difference between Simba and Obama? Ones an African lion, and the other is a lyin African. Lefties in unison,"That's racist!!!"
10 posted on
03/14/2012 11:14:48 AM PDT by
nomad
To: detective
There is a kid standing outside a Tea Party gathering with a box of puppies and a big sign that says “ Tea Party Puppies for sale.”
A cop walks up to him and says
“hey kid, These are the same puppies you had for sale over in front of the DNC last week aren't they?
“Yes they are.”
“And you were selling them as Democrat Puppies there?”
“Yes”
“Well, how come they were Democrat puppies last week and now they are Tea Party puppies?”
“Now they have their eyes open”
15 posted on
03/14/2012 11:29:23 AM PDT by
Cowman
(How can the IRS seize property without a warrant if the 4th amendment still stands?)
To: detective
What’s the difference between obama and God?....God doesn’t walk around all day calling himself Obama.
16 posted on
03/14/2012 11:30:55 AM PDT by
oust the louse
(Mitt...it's time to quit !!!!! ...Santorum says: GAME ON .)
To: detective
17 posted on
03/14/2012 11:36:31 AM PDT by
FrankR
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