Hey, I enjoy a good joke as much as the next guy but are TSA people actually saying this with a straight face. TSA agents have literally hundreds of theft allegations against them. Anyone who travels and has to watch these arrogant idiots push innocent citizens around knows what the real situation is. These idiots have confiscated my nail clippers, my shampoo, my deodorant and once two of them sat looking at an xray of my electric razor and cord and asked each other if it was a bomb.
I can't go into an airport without seeing dozens of them standing around doing nothing.
My only good experience was when I was randomly selected for a thorough security check by a hot, young female agent, She patted down my crotch area thoroughly. She felt inside my waistband and my shirt. She put her hands in each of my pants pockets. She had a nice, gentle touch
I once bought a box of fudge in a small airport gift shop to take back to the office. The gift shop is right beside the security station. I pointed out the shelf where I picked up the box through the gift shop window. The TSA idiot still spent ten minutes trying to figure out if the lump of fudge was a bomb.
Exciting prose. Since you couldn't give her a tip, did you at least write a commendation for her polite and enjoyable service?