It is often the case that we men are in love with the projection we have made upon a gal who caught our fancy. The chemistry is complicated by the nature of human beings. There are two types of humans (male or female), conscious and unconscious. We men tend to be more of the unconscious variety, but we tend to wake up as the little boy confronts reality in a close relationship with 'not mom'. Women tend to be of the unconscious variety IF they are more of the Choleric type, take charge selectors of a mate (read more directed by their animus than their anima). There are two types: conscious and unconscious; and four personality categories: choleric, melancholic, phlegmatic, sanguine.
The great love of my life was an unconscious choleric and the 24 years we spent together could best be described as a power struggle. But I continue to love her unquestionably. What is sad is how many times a divorce tends to awaken and rectify many character flaws, yet the spouses will not 'take another look' at the 'improved other'. It's all very Jungian don'tchaknow.
“It is often the case that we men are in love with the projection we have made upon a gal who caught our fancy.”
That was my take too. They can continue to love the idealized “vision” of their ex, when reality is very different.