From a friend in Chicago......
My father was a staunch conservative and voted straight line Republican until the day he died…
I am ashamed.... because now he votes Democrat....
Top 12 Reasons to Vote Democrat
1. I will vote Democrat because I love the fact that I can now marry whatever I want. I’ve decided to marry my German Shepherd.
2. I will vote Democrat because I believe oil companies’ profits of 4% on a gallon of gas are obscene, but the government taxing the same gallon of gas at 15% isn’t.
3. I will vote Democrat because I believe the government will do a better job of spending the money I earn than I would.
4. I will vote Democrat because Freedom of Speech is fine as long as nobody is offended by it.
5. I will vote Democrat because I’m way too irresponsible to own a gun, and I know that my local police are all I need to protect me from murderers and thieves.
6. I will vote Democrat because I believe that people who can’t tell us if it will rain on Friday can tell us that the polar ice caps will melt away in ten years if I don’t start driving a Prius.
7. I will vote Democrat because I’m not concerned about millions of babies being aborted so long as we keep all death row inmates alive.
8. I will vote Democrat because I think illegal aliens have a right to free health care, education, and Social Security benefits, and we should take away the social security from those who paid into it.
9. I will vote Democrat because I believe that businesses should not be allowed to make profits for themselves. They need to break even and give the rest away to the government for redistribution as the Democrats see fit.
10. I will vote Democrat because I believe liberal judges need to rewrite the Constitution every few days to suit some fringe kooks who would never get their agendas past the voters.
11. I will vote Democrat because I think that it’s better to pay billions for their oil to people who hate us, but not drill our own because it might upset some endangered beetle, gopher or fish.
12. I will vote Democrat because my head is so firmly planted up my butt, it’s unlikely that I’ll ever have another point of view.
TOP 1,000!!!
Happy Friday!
![](http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-oYDPcVSwMbw/UCp5xCqhRnI/AAAAAAAAM4s/HCRLU8iGBWQ/s1600/joclub.jpg")
Seven Degrees of Joe
FIRST DEGREE
Joe and his wife were asleep when the phone rang
at 2 in the morning. Joe picked up the phone,
listened a moment and said ‘How should I know, that’s 200 miles
from here!’ and hung up.
His wife said, ‘Who was that?’
Joe answered, ‘I don’t know, some guy wanting to know if the coast is clear.’
SECOND DEGREE
Joe and his wife are walking down the street. The wife notices a compact on the
sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the mirror
and says, ‘Hmm, this person looks familiar.’
Joe says, ‘Here, let me see!’
So, Joe’s wife hands him the compact.
Joe looks in the mirror and says, ‘You dummy, it’s me!’
THIRD DEGREE
Joe suspected his wife of cheating on him, so he goes out and
buys a gun. He goes to his home unexpectedly and when he opens the
door he finds her in the arms of some guy. Joe is really
angry. He pulls out the gun and puts it to his head.
His wife yells, ‘No, honey, don’t do it!!!’
Joe replies, ‘Shut up, you’re next!’
FOURTH DEGREE
Joe was bragging about his knowledge of state capitals.
He proudly says, ‘Go ahead, ask me, ... I know ‘em all.’
Someone says, ‘OK, what’s the capital of Wisconsin ?’
Joe replies, ‘That’s easy .. it’s W.’
FIFTH DEGREE
Q: What did Joe ask his single daughter when she told him she was pregnant?
A: ‘How do you know it’s yours?’
SIXTH DEGREE
When Joe was in college his Government class professor asked if he knew what
Roe vs. Wade was about.
Joe pondered the question then, finally, said, ‘That was the decision
George Washington had to make before he crossed the Delaware ...’
SEVENTH DEGREE
Returning home Joe was shocked to find his house
ransacked and burglarized. He telephoned the police at once and
reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the radio,
and a K-9 unit, patrolling nearby, was the first to respond.
As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash,
Joe ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop
and his dog, then moaned, ‘I come home to find all my possessions stolen.
I call the police for help, and what do they do? They send me a BLIND policeman!’
Superb job....absolutely.