I have a feeling he salts his conversations with modern hep-cat words like 'bro', 'dawg', 'boss', 'brochacho', etc. and uses exclamations like 'Noice!' and 'HEE-yul yeah!' while trying to give fellow idiots high fives and bro-hugs after skillfully executed moves are made playing 'Madden 2012' on his XBOX 360.
I hate idiots like that. Give his dog to those granola hippies who saved it. The End.