From the Book of Laz:
Laz 1:23
12. For then the Prophet Mataz came unto them, and remarked, “I shall hit all of thee, in thy turn, and thou shalt be blessed.”
13. And they lined up, the women, and the men, and the animals of draft, and the animals of slaughter,
14. And they, each in their turn, were hit, and they were all blessed.
And so it was written, and so it was done. And Prophet Mataz founded the nation of HIT. And legion were his progeny. And to this day songs of his greatness are sung. The prophetess Britney joyfully sang “HIT me baby one more time.”
Thank God you spared the children...........