[Kenny Bunk]

I have been listening to NPR all week, hoping for guidance in my election-day choice.

But they have been of no help. The commentators on that fair and balanced media outlet are evenly divided between supporters of Hugo Chavez, Che Guevara, and Fidel Castro. Any suggestions?

[verum ago]

But they have been of no help. The commentators on that fair and balanced media outlet are evenly divided between supporters of Hugo Chavez, Che Guevara, and Fidel Castro. Any suggestions?

Guevara's dead, so he's a voter now, not a candidate.
Castro is out of office and not running.
Chavez, now there's a 'dynamic' fellow! Solid choice, but might become a voter (die of his cancer).
Have you considered Putin or a Muslim Brotherhood candidate?