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21 Things Your Burglar Won’t Tell You
Modern Survival Blog ^ | June 8, 2011 | Ken (MSB)

Posted on 01/12/2013 8:28:55 PM PST by Altariel

1. Of course I look familiar. I was here just last week cleaning your carpets, painting your shutters, or delivering your new refrigerator.

2. Hey, thanks for letting me use the bathroom when I was working in your yard last week. While I was in there, I unlatched the back window to make my return a little easier.

3. Love those flowers. That tells me you have taste... and taste means there are nice things inside. Those yard toys your kids leave out always make me wonder what type of gaming system they have.

4. Yes, I really do look for newspapers piled up on the driveway. And I might leave a pizza flyer in your front door to see how long it takes you to remove it..

5. If it snows while you're out of town, get a neighbor to create car and foot tracks into the house. Virgin drifts in the driveway are a dead giveaway.

6. If decorative glass is part of your front entrance, don't let your alarm company install the control pad where I can see if it's set. That makes it too easy.

7. A good security company alarms the window over the sink. And the windows on the second floor, which often access the master bedroom - and your jewelry. It's not a bad idea to put motion detectors up there too.

8. It's raining, you're fumbling with your umbrella, and you forget to lock your door - understandable. But understand this: I don't take a day off because of bad weather.

9. I always knock first. If you answer, I'll ask for directions somewhere or offer to clean your gutters. (Don't take me up on it.)

10. Do you really think I won't look in your sock drawer? I always check dresser drawers, the bedside table, and the medicine cabinet.

11. Here's a helpful hint: I almost never go into kids' rooms.

12. You're right: I won't have enough time to break into that safe where you keep your valuables. But if it's not bolted down, I'll take it with me.

13. A loud TV or radio can be a better deterrent than the best alarm system. If you're reluctant to leave your TV on while you're out of town, you can buy a $35 device that works on a timer and simulates the flickering glow of a real television.

14. Sometimes, I carry a clipboard. Sometimes, I dress like a lawn guy and carry a rake. I do my best to never, ever look like a crook.

15. The two things I hate most: loud dogs and nosy neighbors.

16. I'll break a window to get in, even if it makes a little noise. If your neighbor hears one loud sound, he'll stop what he's doing and wait to hear it again. If he doesn't hear it again, he'll just go back to what he was doing. It's human nature.

17. I'm not complaining, but why would you pay all that money for a fancy alarm system and leave your house without setting it?

18. I love looking in your windows. I'm looking for signs that you're home, and for flat screen TVs or gaming systems I'd like. I'll drive or walk through your neighborhood at night, before you close the blinds, just to pick my targets.

19. Avoid announcing your vacation on your Facebook page. It's easier than you think to look up your address.

20. To you, leaving that window open just a crack during the day is a way to let in a little fresh air. To me, it's an invitation.

21. If you don't answer when I knock, I try the door. Occasionally, I hit the jackpot and walk right in.

Here’s an idea…

Put your car keys beside your bed at night.

If you hear a noise outside your home or someone trying to get in your house, just press the panic button for your car. The alarm will be set off, and the horn will continue to sound until either you turn it off or the car battery dies. This tip came from a neighborhood watch coordinator. Next time you come home for the night and you start to put your keys away, think of this: It’s a security alarm system that you probably already have and requires no installation. Test it. It will go off from most everywhere inside your house and will keep honking until your battery runs down or until you reset it with the button on the key fob chain. It works if you park in your driveway or garage. If your car alarm goes off when someone is trying to break into your house, odds are the burglar/rapist won’t stick around. After a few seconds all the neighbors will be looking out their windows to see who is out there and sure enough the criminal won’t want that. And remember to carry your keys while walking to your car in a parking lot. The alarm can work the same way there. This is something that should really be shared with everyone. Maybe it could save a life or a sexual abuse crime.


TOPICS: Miscellaneous
KEYWORDS: burglar; preppers; prepping; survivalism
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1 posted on 01/12/2013 8:29:06 PM PST by Altariel
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To: Kartographer

Of interest to your Prepping ping list?


2 posted on 01/12/2013 8:29:57 PM PST by Altariel ("Curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal!")
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To: Altariel

Based on todays stories, dumping ammo from your shotgun and puking from fear of such be included.


3 posted on 01/12/2013 8:33:26 PM PST by eyedigress ((zOld storm chaser from the west)/?)
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To: Altariel

One more....

I am from the government and I’m here to help.................


4 posted on 01/12/2013 8:35:25 PM PST by eyedigress ((zOld storm chaser from the west)/?)
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To: Altariel

I appreciate the tips. Thanks for posting.


5 posted on 01/12/2013 8:36:49 PM PST by Nevadan
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To: Altariel

22. I hope you don’t have a gun.


6 posted on 01/12/2013 8:41:30 PM PST by TBP (Obama lies, Granny dies.)
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To: Altariel
19. Avoid announcing your vacation on your Facebook page. It's easier than you think to look up your address.

It took a while for my wife to thoroughly understand this.

7 posted on 01/12/2013 8:43:06 PM PST by Rides_A_Red_Horse (Fair is a place you go to eat cotton candy and step in monkey poop)
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To: TBP

23. I look at your local newspaper and see if you are a registered gun owner.


8 posted on 01/12/2013 8:44:30 PM PST by ObozoMustGo2012
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To: surroundedbyblue

Worth reading.


9 posted on 01/12/2013 8:44:58 PM PST by Brian Kopp DPM
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To: Altariel

Half of it sounds like lil Tradymark wrote it.


10 posted on 01/12/2013 8:48:24 PM PST by rawcatslyentist ("Behold, I am against you, O arrogant one," Jeremiah 50:31)
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To: Altariel
All of the above is good advice, and help deter break-ins. Wish all thieves waited till you were gone to break in...
Dont believe the alarm company commercials though. Thats based on a type of 'M.O.' that went out-of-style 2 decades ago.

How about...(happens more often than the above around here)
I'm one of the 93% that voted for Ø, and me & my homies are gonna bust down your door in the middle of the night,
we dont give a damn if you're home, we're gonna beat the snot out of ya, maybe rape your wife or daughter,
hurt your kids, shoot your dog if its noisy
rob everything worth taking....then decide if we're gonna kill you because you might identify us to 5/0
11 posted on 01/12/2013 8:52:10 PM PST by 45semi (A police state is always preceded by a nanny state...)
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To: Altariel

Leave a large dog chewtoy outside by the front door. Keep foundation plantings trimmed low to eliminate cover for someone peering in or breaking in. Get in some “range time” in your backyard fairly frequently if your jurisdiction allows it, mine does, word gets out if there are four or five people out firing weapons in rhe neighborhood every weekend.


12 posted on 01/12/2013 8:57:45 PM PST by RegulatorCountry
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To: Rides_A_Red_Horse

Yes. A lot of people evidently have a “Mary Sunshine” attitude about Facebook. - My friend’s daughter-in-law used to post photos of her decorating projects (of her house) on Facebook; also used to always tell what time they were leaving and what time returning every time they went anywhere. - One day, they came home to find they’d been cleaned out of their valuable household items. - I assume she learned her lesson.


13 posted on 01/12/2013 9:02:32 PM PST by Twinkie (The earth is the Lord's, and the fullness thereof; the world and they that dwell therein. Ps. 24:1)
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To: Altariel

14 posted on 01/12/2013 9:03:24 PM PST by JoeProBono (A closed mouth gathers no feet - Mater tua caligas exercitus gerit ;-{)
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To: JoeProBono

Nice pic. I have an 870 lumen Fenix light that makes that look like a candle. Any intruder in my home at night will die blind.


15 posted on 01/12/2013 9:19:10 PM PST by ThunderSleeps (Stop obama now! Stop the hussein - insane agenda!)
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To: Altariel
21 things my burglar will tell me...

1) That's the biggest knife I've ever seen.

2) I didn't know soldering irons were that hot.

3) I've never dug a BBQ pit before.

4) Yes, I remember that scene from Brave Heart.

5) My bank routing number is xxx xxxxx xx, honest.

... ;^)

16 posted on 01/12/2013 9:36:56 PM PST by TigersEye (Free fetal disposal is not a right.)
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To: ThunderSleeps
Nice pic. I have an 870 lumen Fenix light that makes that look like a candle. Any intruder in my home at night will die blind.

It'll be an enlightening experience for the vermin.

17 posted on 01/12/2013 9:40:36 PM PST by Standing Wolf
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To: Altariel

4. Yes, I really do look for newspapers piled up on the driveway. And I might leave a pizza flyer in your front door to see how long it takes you to remove it..

I usually leave them outside when i am home, cause I want someone to think I am away, the second they break into my house is the second they lose their head and not in a metaphorical way...

5. If it snows while you’re out of town, get a neighbor to create car and foot tracks into the house. Virgin drifts in the driveway are a dead giveaway.

Same as above

9. I always knock first. If you answer, I’ll ask for directions somewhere or offer to clean your gutters. (Don’t take me up on it.)

I will let them knock but will not answer and I will watch them through the blinds to see what they do.

18. I love looking in your windows. I’m looking for signs that you’re home, and for flat screen TVs or gaming systems I’d like. I’ll drive or walk through your neighborhood at night, before you close the blinds, just to pick my targets.

I leave my blinds closed at all times

19. Avoid announcing your vacation on your Facebook page. It’s easier than you think to look up your address.

It is fun to create a public profile and tell everyone about your month long trip to Japan when you are out on medical leave for a hernia repair and have nothing to do but wait with my .45 while I rest on my couch. Also Craiglist is fun to post at too.

20. To you, leaving that window open just a crack during the day is a way to let in a little fresh air. To me, it’s an invitation.

My window has a spring loaded “mouse trap” you try to open it a little more and it will span back with a 10,000 lb screen with retractable steel blade, hope you like using a prosthesis.

21. If you don’t answer when I knock, I try the door. Occasionally, I hit the jackpot and walk right in.

And come face to face with my .45, good luck...


18 posted on 01/12/2013 9:42:50 PM PST by GraceG
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To: Altariel
Here’s an idea…

Put your car keys beside your bed at night.

If you hear a noise outside your home or someone trying to get in your house, just press the panic button for your car.

Go ahead and stake your life on a key fob. I'm grabbing the Glock and a spare mag. We'll see who survives. As for my car keys...they're staying in my pants pocket.

19 posted on 01/12/2013 10:25:03 PM PST by AlaskaErik (I served and protected my country for 31 years. Progressives spent that time trying to destroy it.)
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To: AlaskaErik

Or a pair or three .357 revolvers—less chance of jamming ;^)


20 posted on 01/12/2013 10:29:15 PM PST by Windcatcher (Obama is a COMMUNIST and the MSM is his armband-wearing propaganda machine.)
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To: Altariel
9. I always knock first. If you answer, I'll ask for directions somewhere or offer to clean your gutters. (Don't take me up on it.)

When a solicitor knocks on the front door, if it's just one guy my dad likes to walk out the *side* door *with his sidearm* and ask him what he wants. If the guy is pushy, resting a hand on the grip usually brings the conversation to a rapid end.
21 posted on 01/12/2013 10:37:35 PM PST by Windcatcher (Obama is a COMMUNIST and the MSM is his armband-wearing propaganda machine.)
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To: Windcatcher

Good idea. :)


22 posted on 01/12/2013 10:44:58 PM PST by Altariel ("Curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal!")
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To: Altariel

Thanks very much for this posting.
We have security screen doors with double bolt locks that require a key, which we do NOT keep within hand’s reach by the door, but close enough in case of fire.


23 posted on 01/12/2013 10:55:13 PM PST by onyx (FREE REPUBLIC IS HERE TO STAY! DONATE MONTHLY! IF YOU WANT ON SARAH PALIN''S PING LIST, LET ME KNOW)
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To: eyedigress

that article was extremely useful.

it shows that not everyone should own a gun. some people are not up to it.

of course others have expressed doubt if the article is genuine.


24 posted on 01/12/2013 10:59:29 PM PST by Secret Agent Man (I can neither confirm or deny that; even if I could, I couldn't - it's classified.)
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To: RegulatorCountry
I leave the blinds open so whoever looks in gets to see something like this.

We had two 'crime sprees' last year and our house was the only one not hit.

Good dog.

25 posted on 01/13/2013 12:27:38 AM PST by Salamander (This is my tagline. There are many others like it but this one is mine.)
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To: Altariel
Let's see.....

We have obnoxiously loud dogs

We have nothing of value (because of the obnoxiously loud dogs)

We have beautiful flowers

and oh yeah.....guns. There's that.

26 posted on 01/13/2013 1:59:15 AM PST by onona (KCCO, and mind the gap)
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To: Salamander
Love it !! Sadly, mine are all bark and no bite.

Beer dog

27 posted on 01/13/2013 2:06:04 AM PST by onona (KCCO, and mind the gap)
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To: onyx

Most locks can be picked in a matter of seconds.


28 posted on 01/13/2013 3:47:04 AM PST by FreedomPoster (Islam delenda est)
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To: onona

love that pic, my dogs would fetch a beer for a burglar. I put gun/hunting stickers on my ol truck, anyone but duma$$ teenagers should get the message. Outside cameras help too


29 posted on 01/13/2013 4:10:39 AM PST by orlop9
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To: Altariel

Here’s another hint - when you get your new flat-screen TV or computer, don’t just sit the box out with your trash. Break it down and throw it in the can where burglars can’t drive by and see it...or put it in front of your nasty neighbor’s house ;-)


30 posted on 01/13/2013 4:15:06 AM PST by mrs. a (It's a short life but a merry one...)
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To: onona

You don’t know that for sure.

When the time comes, they may surprise you.

A few nights ago about 3 AM, the Portuguese Podengo Medio set up the alarm from the cabinet she stands sentinel on in my art studio at the picture window facing south and the Dobe leaped to the east window, barking, too.

I thought maybe the thieves had come back for more of the neighbor’s stuff and let him out the front door.

The thing about Dobes is that they raise hell over intruders when inside but run silent when out.

He made him himself low and ‘invisible’ in the darkness and ran the perimeter several times before reporting back.

He wasn’t agitated when he came back and I didn’t see anything moving so I have no idea what really was out there.

Hubby suggested a cat but although the Dobe will bark at the stray cats, the PPM never does.

As for your dogs, don’t underestimate them.

In 1993, my totally non-aggressive, sweet as honey Ibizan Hound growled and jumped onto the back of my ex who was trying to strangle me to death.

She’d never done such a thing before and never did again.

But when it *counted*, she was there for me.

Your dogs would probably do the same.


31 posted on 01/13/2013 5:43:25 AM PST by Salamander (This is my tagline. There are many others like it but this one is mine.)
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To: Secret Agent Man

There’s a black guy who shows up on TV now and again that is an ex-con who now does educational seminars about home security.

His list is almost identical to this one but he also lists types of lighting to have and advises against having shrubbery near the windows or anywhere that can give cover to somebody breaking in.

His top two ‘burglars always avoid’ picks are security cameras and big dogs.

Apparently he’s right because both theft sprees covered a several mile area along RT40 and we’re the only house with both.

Right beneath my front security camera is a life size concrete Dobe statue that’s visible from a good 200 feet away.

Nobody can say they weren’t warned.


32 posted on 01/13/2013 5:54:34 AM PST by Salamander (This is my tagline. There are many others like it but this one is mine.)
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To: Altariel

“20. To you, leaving that window open just a crack during the day is a way to let in a little fresh air. To me, it’s an invitation.”

I leave mine open a crack...but there’s a stainless steel pin in the frame holding it from opening any further.

To the dog, it’s a nice gap to bite fingers off if they’re stuck in.

:)


33 posted on 01/13/2013 5:59:28 AM PST by Salamander (This is my tagline. There are many others like it but this one is mine.)
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To: ThunderSleeps

Hubby mounted a light on my 9mm that will burn out your retinas.

It has a switch for that light to burn steady or strobe and also a red or green laser site option.

The strobe is especially miserable.


34 posted on 01/13/2013 6:06:10 AM PST by Salamander (This is my tagline. There are many others like it but this one is mine.)
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To: TigersEye

LOL

I love the way you think.


35 posted on 01/13/2013 6:07:12 AM PST by Salamander (This is my tagline. There are many others like it but this one is mine.)
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To: GraceG

Several years ago a couple of flatlanders were running a scam here in the hills.

They’d go up to houses, knock and ask if somebody with a weird, totally non-hillbilly name was home.

Of course, if they were home, people said no but they’d rob the houses where nobody answered.

This went on for two days.

Unbeknownst to any of us, as if with one mind, we *all* stopped answering the door when strangers knocked and waited quietly inside with guns loaded, instead.

Sadly, the cops got them before any of us did.


36 posted on 01/13/2013 6:16:27 AM PST by Salamander (This is my tagline. There are many others like it but this one is mine.)
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To: Altariel

22. Forget 1-21 and move to a community where there hasn’t been a break-in for fifty years (that’s what I did).


37 posted on 01/13/2013 6:26:27 AM PST by KevinB (A country that would elect Barack Obama president twice is no longer worth fighting for.)
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To: ThunderSleeps

LOL! I looked at a flash light at the gunstore this week that could blind a person. I may go back and get it.


38 posted on 01/13/2013 6:36:48 AM PST by Ditter
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To: Salamander

Out of my 4 dogs, the only one that I can count on to actually bite an intruder, weighs 15 pounds and is totally blind. But they will all bark like they are going to take you down.


39 posted on 01/13/2013 6:45:16 AM PST by Ditter
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To: Altariel

Excellent Post - I’ll add my comments:

“1. Of course I look familiar. I was here just last week cleaning your carpets, painting your shutters, or delivering your new refrigerator.”

Quite true - just like in other businesses, crooks need ‘leads’. They don’t want to blindly enter a house - they want to know there is something for the taking, and they want to have some idea of the risk. Often they will get that info from anyone that enters your house with your permission. So, as I say, while the 50 year old plumber may be as honest as they come, how about is 23 year old helper that the county just provided to him? And what about the friends of the 23 year old. Bottom line, keep strangers out to the extent possible - and do your own plumbing, like some of us here.

“2. Hey, thanks for letting me use the bathroom when I was working in your yard last week. While I was in there, I unlatched the back window to make my return a little easier.”

Also good point, I hadn’t thought of that. It’s a good idea to sweep behind anyone that does come in.

“3. Love those flowers. That tells me you have taste... and taste means there are nice things inside. Those yard toys your kids leave out always make me wonder what type of gaming system they have.”

Reminds me of my neighbors that put the boxes to their new computer system and plasma out in the front, in full view of everyone. Talk about stupid. In my case, I ALWAYS make those boxes invisible, by cutting them up, folding them and putting them in a bag, or something else.

“4. Yes, I really do look for newspapers piled up on the driveway. And I might leave a pizza flyer in your front door to see how long it takes you to remove it.”

Yep, like it or not, you have to have people sweep your house when you’re gone for more than a few days. If the guy is leaving flyers just for you, then he’s casing you, which means you screwed up somewhere else (like #1).

“5. If it snows while you’re out of town, get a neighbor to create car and foot tracks into the house. Virgin drifts in the driveway are a dead giveaway.”

Probably so, but criminals tend to not like cold weather.

“6. If decorative glass is part of your front entrance, don’t let your alarm company install the control pad where I can see if it’s set. That makes it too easy.”

Yea, that’s pretty bad. Also, one should NEVER have clear glass on any door without a means to cover it.

“7. A good security company alarms the window over the sink. And the windows on the second floor, which often access the master bedroom - and your jewelry. It’s not a bad idea to put motion detectors up there too.”

Depends on the house, but if you can access the roof from an upper window, then you sure as heck better wire it.

“8. It’s raining, you’re fumbling with your umbrella, and you forget to lock your door - understandable. But understand this: I don’t take a day off because of bad weather.”

Actually, a lot of them do - I suspect, but I don’t have stats to back that up.

“9. I always knock first. If you answer, I’ll ask for directions somewhere or offer to clean your gutters. (Don’t take me up on it.)”

This one for sure. It’s no-win. Once they knock you either have to let them know you’re there or, maybe, lead them to think that you’re not. In either case, it’s not good. We don’t answer, and I think that more and more people are getting that way, so the value of this approach is slowly diminishing.

“10. Do you really think I won’t look in your sock drawer? I always check dresser drawers, the bedside table, and the medicine cabinet.”

True, look around, there’s always good places to hide things (but I wont name them here).

“11. Here’s a helpful hint: I almost never go into kids’ rooms.”

Didn’t know that one. Handy to keep in mind.

“12. You’re right: I won’t have enough time to break into that safe where you keep your valuables. But if it’s not bolted down, I’ll take it with me.”

Definitely. And that applies to a 500 lb. gun safe too. They will get it, if they want. But, yes, you can bolt it down - but keep in mind they may try ripping it out with their car/truck, if they can strap to it. So placement is also very important.

“13. A loud TV or radio can be a better deterrent than the best alarm system. If you’re reluctant to leave your TV on while you’re out of town, you can buy a $35 device that works on a timer and simulates the flickering glow of a real television.”

The TV idea is good. The radio on a timer I always use. Make it loud enough. Obviously lamp timers too. In fact, one way to tell we’re gone is due to more windows being lit up when we’re home (LOL).

“14. Sometimes, I carry a clipboard. Sometimes, I dress like a lawn guy and carry a rake. I do my best to never, ever look like a crook.”

Yea, dressing in flat black and carrying a tool bag might get one noticed in some neighborhoods. Also look for a truck, if has a uniform on. He shouldn’t be far from it.

“15. The two things I hate most: loud dogs and nosy neighbors.”

Dogs seem to be very good. Not sure how the crook can figure out if your neighbors are nosy unless he’s obviously casing the place.

“16. I’ll break a window to get in, even if it makes a little noise. If your neighbor hears one loud sound, he’ll stop what he’s doing and wait to hear it again. If he doesn’t hear it again, he’ll just go back to what he was doing. It’s human nature.”

I tend to agree. One loud bang, it’s a backfire - several bangs, it’s gun shots. I also suspect that windows are the primary entry means for bad guys. But you can have fun with them if your door locks are double dead-bolt (like ours - also make sure that you need to have the key available to remove the lock from the inside - the cheaper locks let you simply unscrew the inside deadbolt, better than nothing, but only a bit). So even after getting in, they will have to exit through the window, which they won’t like doing.

“17. I’m not complaining, but why would you pay all that money for a fancy alarm system and leave your house without setting it?”

I can’t speak for that, we always set our alarm.

“18. I love looking in your windows. I’m looking for signs that you’re home, and for flat screen TVs or gaming systems I’d like. I’ll drive or walk through your neighborhood at night, before you close the blinds, just to pick my targets.”

This is probably the Number 2 means for a bad guy to get the hook he needs to hit a place. My idiot former neighbor seemed to want to show off his huge plasma to anyone walking by his house. I still have trouble with my wife on this one - she has trouble understanding that just because you cannot see outside (due to reflections), doesn’t mean that people outside cannot see you - in fact, they can see you lit up like you’re on display. Windows MUST be covered at night, that simple.

“19. Avoid announcing your vacation on your Facebook page. It’s easier than you think to look up your address.”

I agree, it’s very, very, easy to track people down. I’ve been able to track down 95% of the people that I went to high school and college with, even though that was decades ago, and I don’t even belong to Facebook. The less people you tell, the better. I also don’t tell the police or the postal service (we have a slot, so mail can pile up indoors for months without anyone ever seeing it from outside). The less that know, the better. It also buys you time. For a bad guy who is casing randomly, he won’t even pick up that you might be gone for several days (the first few days he’ll attribute it to bad timing on his part).

“20. To you, leaving that window open just a crack during the day is a way to let in a little fresh air. To me, it’s an invitation.”

Agree. Maybe do it on the second floor, if at all. Also keep in mind that if the window is cracked open, not only is it easier to fully open, but it almost certainly, is not armed, relative to the alarm system. In other words, it’s a safe point-of-entry (POE, for those in the business).

“21. If you don’t answer when I knock, I try the door. Occasionally, I hit the jackpot and walk right in.”

I agree that if they’re ready to hit your place, they will try the door after knocking. But often they simply want to see if someone answers - and then take it from there.

At this point, I’ll add one:

If you have extra vehicles, leave them outside when you’re gone (and obviously without anything to attract bad guys). Yes, there’s a slight risk they’ll get broken into, but the bad guy will tend to simply ignore your place and look for quieter stomping grounds. We actually left 3 vehicles outside for our last trip.

And one final one:

If you are gone more than 2 or 3 weeks, you’ll want to have someone live in the house, if at all possible. Just make sure they fully understand the security requirements when they go out.

And Another:

Even if you don’t have an alarm system, get a sign out front that says you do. For bad guys, there’s no way to be sure it’s a fake sign, as well-installed alarm systems are simply not visible from outside.


40 posted on 01/13/2013 7:12:10 AM PST by BobL
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To: Salamander

Dobermans have a way of speaking a language criminals can understand very well, and they’re so generous as to do everything in their power to save you the trouble of doing so.

;)


41 posted on 01/13/2013 7:14:40 AM PST by Altariel ("Curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal!")
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To: Salamander
My dog will come and get me if there is trouble, I have no idea how she learned to do it.

She came to my bedside at 4 in the morning, put her front paws up on the bed and growled just enough to wake me. Since this was something new, I got up to see what was going on. To make a long story short, that was the night I caught some dumba$$ kid IN my house.

It turned out he left here in handcuffs, wearing urine soaked britches and sporting some pretty severe bruises. I explained to the ten or so cops that responded how the "boy" fell down the stairs. Not one of them said anything as to HOW he fell down the stairs, in a single story dwelling.

I'll never forget him standing there in cuffs looking at my wife(thru his good eye), as she asked him if he understood how lucky he was that I didn't just shoot him. I still have the photo copy she made of his drivers license that night.

42 posted on 01/13/2013 7:42:35 AM PST by DeepInTheHeartOfTexas
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To: onona

Time to cut down on their beer rations. ;)


43 posted on 01/13/2013 8:18:44 AM PST by Altariel ("Curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal!")
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To: Altariel

24. I wear a badge.


44 posted on 01/13/2013 10:54:08 AM PST by UnwashedPeasant
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To: Salamander
Oh, the things I could get a burglar to say if I had cages full of big snakes.

"Now now, stop that blubbering and start reciting the dialogue to Blazing Saddles backwards. ... Well, you'll just have to remember now won't you?"

I always wanted an alligator.

(Legal disclaimer: Not that alligators have anything to do with talking to burglars.) ;-)

45 posted on 01/13/2013 12:12:05 PM PST by TigersEye (Free fetus disposal is not a right.)
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To: TigersEye

LOL!

I’ve always thought about that.

I can see my front door from the sofa and they’d have to get through it another locked steel security door to actually get in the house.

Once inside the second door, they’d be running a virtual gauntlet of Boas and Balls, staring at them from 2 rows of large glass fronted condos.

Probably 99% of burglars would alert me with their girlish shrieks of terror.

[especially if big ol’ Bella happens to be hungry...she will hit the Lexan full force if anybody but me walks by when she imagines she’s ‘starving’]

The one I’d pick for ‘fun with thieves’ is 7’+/19 pound Bob, though.

He’s super “friendly” and just loves to crawl all over people and give ‘em really strong, chummy “hugs”.
[and if they panicked and got jumpy and he felt ‘insecure’, he’d just squeeze harder so he won’t fall]

Come to think of it, a person would have to be freakin’ nutz to break in, here.

;D

The first Boa I ever bought was from a science professor at Shippensburg College.

I examined her in a storage room on the campus while a 5’ gator was twining around my feet.

He lived loose in the room and had his own kiddy size swimming pool.

That was...interesting.

Nice gator, though.

Never snapped or anything.


46 posted on 01/13/2013 1:15:37 PM PST by Salamander (This is my tagline. There are many others like it but this one is mine.)
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To: TigersEye
"Isssssssssssss watchun u"

:D

47 posted on 01/13/2013 1:23:15 PM PST by Salamander (This is my tagline. There are many others like it but this one is mine.)
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To: Salamander
Come to think of it, a person would have to be freakin’ nutz to break in, here.

It's not just a tactical strategy ... IT'S A LIFESTYLE! ;-) LOL

Nice gator, though. Never snapped or anything.

It's always so nice to visit you. You make the best cookies and your large predators are so polite!

Yeppers, I believe in living pro-actively. I'm not hunkered down planning defensive strategies for intruders. I'm ready for opportunity to knock on my door bringing me hours of unexpected entertainment. ;^)

48 posted on 01/13/2013 1:50:12 PM PST by TigersEye (Free fetus disposal is not a right.)
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To: Salamander
Is that Bob or Bella? In any case I see a friend not an enemy. I was a bit of a little Steve Irwin when I was a kid. Poor Mom.

Probably 99% of burglars would alert me with their girlish shrieks of terror.

Worth twice the price of admission. lol

49 posted on 01/13/2013 2:00:29 PM PST by TigersEye (Free fetus disposal is not a right.)
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To: TigersEye

That’s my beloved Belle Boid.
[LOL]

She is an absolute sweetheart.

She knows it’s feeding day and has been desperately trying to get my attention all afternoon.

I’ve been opening her door and gently stroking her head and back every time I go by.

She sure loves her massages.

That temporarily satisfies her while her frozen dinner is thawing out.
[it takes a while]


50 posted on 01/13/2013 3:28:03 PM PST by Salamander (This is my tagline. There are many others like it but this one is mine.)
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